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Posted on 04/30/2011 10:02:07 PM PDT by JustAmy
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Thank you and hope your day is going well!
Lamh Foistenach Abu!
Someday I'll sort everything out so I know exactly what I do have! :)
Close enough! LOL
That is cute tho.
Granny
Author: James Whitcomb Riley
Granny's come to our house,
And ho! My lawzy-daisy!
All the childern round the place
Is ist a-runnin’ crazy!
Fetched a cake fer little Jake,
And fetched a pie fer Nanny,
And fetched a pear fer all the pack
That runs to kiss their Granny!
Lucy Ellen's in her lap,
And Wade and Silas Walker
Both’s a ridin’ on her foot,
And ‘Pollos on the rocker;
And Marthy’s twins, from Aunt Marinn’s
And little Orphant Annie,
All’s a-eatin’ gingerbread
And giggle-un at Granny!
Tells us all the fairy tales
Ever thought er wundered—
And ‘bundance o’ other stories—
Bet she knows a hunderd—!
Bob's the one fer “Whittington,”
And “Golden Locks” fer Fanny!
Hear ‘em laugh and clap their hands,
Listenin’ at Granny!
“Jack the Giant-Killer” ‘s good;
And “Bean-Stalk” ‘s another—!
So’s the one of “Cinderell’”
And her old godmother—;
That-un’s best of all the rest—
Bestest one of any—,
Where the mices scampers home
Like we runs to Granny!
Granny's come to our house,
Ho! My lawzy-daisy!
All the childern round the place
Is ist a runnin’ crazy!
Fetched a cake fer little Jake,
And fetched a pie fer Nanny,
And fetched a pear fer all the pack
That runs to kiss their Granny!
Aw!! What a great poem and graphic!! Sounds much like you, Granny!! :)
Good!! LOL!
Well, whatever, it’s very funny!! :)
Oh Well!! :)
Recently, in a large city in Australia , an advertising poster
featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.
It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”
A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman
on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)
They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.
They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.
They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia ,
the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .
Whales are wonderful Singers and have even recorded CD'S.
They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.
They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don't exist.
If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices
of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to an identity crisis. Fish or human?
They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to
mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT?
Therefore, they don't have kids either. Besides,who wants to get close to a girl who smells
like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.
P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny
people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner
with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.
With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and
wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it's distributed to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren't really heavy...we are just enormously cultured, educated and happy.
Beginning today, whenever I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,
^Good grief, look how smart I am^
I don’t even know how to respond to this!!!
Thank you for this!! Means so much!
Very cute, Yorkie!! :)
Abusers never change. Remember the movie The Burning Bed?
The experience they receive during the season helps them learn how to be entertainers.
Hope you had a lovely day, Geo.
LOL
Thanks for the funny graphic, Teenie.
Hope you had a beautiful Tuesday.
LOL
I hope everyone was as lucky as I was. :)
Thank you, Teenie. We ‘preciate it.
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down.
Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake.
Then off to a theater to see Star Wars along with more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."
Ahh, Yorkie. Thank you for that great graphic and cute poem. Thank you for helping out at our place. I appreciate your daily contributions.
Hope your day was Terrific.
“The End is Near”
A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They held up the sign to each passing car.
“Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash.
“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”
“The End is Near”
A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They held up the sign to each passing car.
“Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash.
“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.” - Mark Twain
“Real Skill”
There was a rich man who was deliberately hard on his farmhand. He gave him a bottle and said, “Buy me a bottle of wine.”
The farmhand asked, “How can I buy you wine with no money at all?”
The rich man said, “Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money.”
After a while the farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to the rich man and said, “Enjoy the wine, please.”
Staring at the empty bottle, the rich man asked, “There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?”
The farmhand said, “Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none.”
“An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.” - C. S. Lewis
Sailing vs. Shopping
— Bob Meyerson
After we had lunch with another couple, the women went shopping, and the men opted to go sailing. Bad decision—a storm blew in while we men were out on the water.
Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding the boat. We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep water.
As my friend stood there—ankles deep in muck, muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and rain pelting his face—he grinned broadly and with unmistakable sincerity said, “Sure beats shopping!”
Good Eulogy
The pastor asks his flock, “What would you like people to say when you’re in your casket?”
One congregant says, “I’d like them to say I was a fine family man.”
Another says, “I’d like them to say I helped people.”
The third responds, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look! I think he’s moving!’ “
Was the weather down there as nice as it was up here? Sunny with a slight breeze...wonderful!
Weather was beautiful, Teenie. I love this type of weather ... Can’t beat spring and fall in the valley.
Me too...unfortunately, we know Summer and Winter are inevitable!
Osama’s Valentine
Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” he asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?”
David’s father thinks a bit, then says “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”
“Osama Bin Laden,” David says.
“Why Osama Bin Laden?” his father asks in shock.
“Well,” David says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”
His father’s heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride.
“David, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I know,” David says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Navy Seals shoot him.”
Lessons Learned By A Mother
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says they only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain Lego’s will pass right through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Painful Love
Both my fiancé and I are in our 40s. I thought it was both amusing and touching when he assumed the classic position to propose to me—down on one bended knee.
“Are you serious?” I asked, laughing.
“Of course I’m serious,” he said. “I’m on my bad knee.”
I’ve been amazed at the impact that my wife, Martie, has had on the lives of our kids. Very few roles demand the kind of unconditional, self-sacrificing perseverance and commitment as that of motherhood. I know for certain that my character and faith have been shaped and molded by my mom, Corabelle. Let’s face it, where would we be without our wives and mothers?
It reminds me of one of my favorite memories in sports history. Phil Mickelson walked up the 18th fairway at the Masters Golf Tournament in 2010 after his final putt to clinch one of golf’s most coveted prizes for the third time. But it wasn’t his victory leap on the green that had an impact on me. It was when he made a beeline through the crowd to his wife, who was battling life-threatening cancer. They embraced, and the camera caught a tear running down Phil’s cheek as he held his wife close for a long time.
Our wives need to experience the kind of sacrificial, selfless love that has been shown to us by the Lover of our souls. As Paul put it, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25). Prizes come and go, but it’s the people you love—and who love you—that matter most.
Read: Ephesians 5:22-33
Yes, I did mean CORN FRITTERS, my fingers can’t hit the right keys, (I think they went union)
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This is great .... I wonder where you can get those bumper stickers,
Thanks for sharing, JOHNN.
Have a Wonderful WFWednesday.
Great photo.
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Lamh Foistenach Abu!
22.Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23.For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24.Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25.Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26.That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27.That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28.So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29.For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30.For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31.For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32.This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33.Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
...
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Both husbands and wives have responsibility and accountability here. (not in fashion with the mores of today).
This is from the New Testament. We are to follow it's commands. God's plan is always the best plan, remember this. It makes for a life of peace. A house divided can not stand.
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