Man with dead weasel accused of assault

Associated Press ^ | June 8, 2011

[Free ThinkerNY]

HOQUIAM, Wash. – Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into an apartment and assaulted a man in Washington state.

The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker answered, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose and fled.

[montyspython]

Da We.. eeeeeassssel...

[Fiddlstix]

And I was so looking forward to bringing along a dead weasel on my next assault. Danged assault victims are becoming much to picky anymore ta suit me.
I'm considerin' givin' up assaulting altogether. They're takin' all the fun out uv it. Geeez

[OB1kNOb]

When dead weasels are outlawed, only outlaws will have dead weasels.

[OB1kNOb]

They can have my dead weasel when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.........(that don’t sound right).

[Tarantulas]

Do ya feel lucky, punk?

Well, DO YA???

[potlatch]

That sounds like a twitter from Anthony Weiner....snick...

[Daffynition]

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

They can have my dead weasel when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.........(that don’t sound right).

Sounds like the tag line for the inevitable Anthony Weiner autobiography. ;)

[sportutegrl]

Just watch him try and weasel out of the charges.

[Daffynition]

Since this happened in Washington state...has stoat been accounted for?

[Tax-chick]

In the spirit of animal kingdom weirdness introduced by our (mow) familiar spirit Sionnsar, could this be next month’s Undead Thread?

[4yearlurker]

Dude...it was a marmot man....he threw it in the tub with me....

[Tanniker Smith]

Man with dead weasel

Is that a euphemism? These days you can't be sure.

[Tax-chick]

Aw, freep. NOW. I need to cut my fingernails. These dang keyboards. I used to be able to type 60 wpm with no errors on the Royal manual, with fingernails 3x this length.

[JoeProBono]

[AngelesCrestHighway]

"It's not a weasel, it's a martin?"....

[Ditter]

That’ll never work, possums play dead at the first sign of an attack. That's why pretending you are dead is called “playin’ possum”.

[Daffynition]

Weasel

Martin

[elcid1970]

Actually, the man had just come from annual Weasel Stomping Day, and had brought a souvenir.

;^)

[jagusafr]

“The victim asked, “Why are you carrying a weasel?”

It’s obvious that the perp felt like he was being badgered

_______________

Well, actually, we don’ need no steenking badgers...time to ferret out the real problem, I’d say.

[GSWarrior]

[Darksheare]

Possibly.

[Darksheare]

You just have to dual wield them, use ‘em like a morningstar.

[AnAmericanAbroad]

Wir sind Nihilisten, wir glauben an nichts.

[JoeProBono]

MARTIN

WEASEL

[USMCPOP]

I have a Concealed Weasel Permit (CWP), but I can’t find anything about carrying Martens, or Stoats for that matter.

[USMCPOP]

I have a Concealed Weasel Permit (CWP), but I can’t find anything about carrying Martens, or Stoats for that matter.

[Grut]

Didn’t anyone else flash on ‘Laugh In’?

[Ditter]

Oh! Well! Thanks for the advice........ next time....... I’ll do better. :O]

[Daffynition]

WEASEL v.

MARTIN

[Darksheare]

Doesn’t work with animals bigger than that though.
Might work with fish under certain circumstances.

[Zeppo]

Better stock up before they put an Assault Weasel Ban in place...

[Titan Magroyne]

"It's not a weasel, it's a marten."

KXRO reports he left the carcass behind.

---

Great punchline, but the delivery was a bit of a flop.

[Slings and Arrows]

Finders keepers! ;^)

[Slings and Arrows]

Poor Aussies.

[Darksheare]

Never trust a possum.

[Tijeras_Slim]

I loved watching “My Favorite Marten” when I was a kid.

[Hulka]

Knock it off. . .come on guys. . .knock it off. . . I can’t hardly breathe because I am laughing so hard at all the jokes and pictures. . . . .

[JRandomFreeper]

Ich glaube nicht an nhilists glauben.

/johnny

[fanfan]

Um, I don't think I want to see that word everyday for a month, but I think it's a great idea to ping each other to nominees.

Maybe we could find one with love, or heaven in the title?

:-D

[Tax-chick]

That’s fair. Just a thought - I’m sure something better will turn up.

[Talisker]

The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker answered, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose and fled.

I always hate it when that happens.

[NicknamedBob]

"In the spirit of animal kingdom weirdness introduced by our (now) familiar spirit Sionnsar, could this be next month’s Undead Thread?"

I approve. Of course, that carries no weight. Other things we need:

• Thread not be pulled
• No better thread found
• Complete ping list available on Moving Day
• Whatever Mod approval may be required
• Continuing searches for new threads/zot threads/weird animal threads for the next month

Keep in mind; I don't normally do these things. The Undead Thread, Word For The Day, and Amy's are usually my only posting locations.

[fanfan]

It was a good thought!

[fanfan]

Keep in mind; I don't normally do these things.

What things?

[Tax-chick]

I’m not sure this is a subject we want to explore in detail, on a dead weasel thread.

[Darksheare]

Yeah, I don’t know what the exact procedure he used was.

[BJClinton]

At least this isn’t another Wiener thread. At least they have that going for them.

[NicknamedBob]

"Yeah, I don’t know what the exact procedure he used was."

Let's table it until closer to the end of this month.

[SunkenCiv]

Thanks wildbill.

"Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker answered, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose...