Posted on 06/17/2011 7:45:25 PM PDT by chasio649
We have moved far past the time when an unmarried woman over 35 was branded an "old maid" or when unmarried men were "swinging bachelors," but after seeing the disaster of the marriage between Huma Abedin and Congressman Anthony Weiner, one does have to wonder if the old adage about men over 40 who have never been married is true. Is it a dating red flag?
There is something to be said for marriage. Being in a marriage, whether it ends or stays together, usually means you have some experience with compromise, the ability to love and be loved, and some familiarity with the concept of sharing. "Never-marrieds" on the other hand? Who knows why they're unmarried?
In asking around, it seems the cutoff age between it being cool and it being a red flag is roughly 35 for men and 40 for women.
Of course, nothing is sure-fire and there are as many extenuating circumstances as there are marriages on Earth. But it's a good rule of thumb, when dating, to recognize that a person who has reached a certain age and never had a relationship last longer than a couple months is probably harboring some issues.
Marriage? Maybe not. Maybe they don't want to get married or just don't play musical chairs all that well. There are reasons they may not have walked down the aisle, though in Weiner's case, it probably WAS a red flag. Still, most men over 40 who have had at least one or two long-term relationships that haven't worked out are still marriage material, but those who haven't even had a girlfriend? It's a problem.
We learn something with every relationship we're in. No one would argue that the older you get, the harder it is to compromise. It is. So if you marry young and you compromise together, you get used to that. Someone who has made it to 40 without having to make those compromises and learn and grow with someone would likely be much more rigid in their thinking.
Women over 30 complain all the time that there are few good guys without baggage who are over 30 out there. And it's likely true. There are some good men who stay single, but coupling off whether by marriage or just a long-term relationship is kind of the "norm." So stepping outside of that does make you a bit of a freak.
That said, it isn't fair to not give a guy a chance because of some arbitrary cutoff. There is always the exception to every "rule," right?
Do you think a man or woman over 40 who has never been married is a freak?
Single, solvent, and sane.
Much deserved!
I’m so set in my ways now, I don’t think I could “share” my space with another, but I never say never.
Although, I did stop dating, probably close to 4 years now. Those men and their 8 arms were WAY too much for me.....after a first date no less!
My last date ended in me slapping saying “what the hell are you doing, get off”.
Beside most Conservative men I meet now a days are married. I HATE the metros (I’m the girl, you aren’t).
This damn world is upside down!
Those hyphenated names do raise a flag...don’t they?
There are always exceptions to general rules; and great for your brother
Weiner had also had a number of precvoius relationships—totally blowing the basis for the article.
I HATE the hyphenated names. In my office, I refuse to use them.
64. Never been married. Why? Keen powers of observation, formal education, native intelligence, and a great deal of good luck. And adherence to my third universal law: All women are nuts.
Flame on.
“Had one woman I loved, but she turned out to be crazy”
I assume my wife is crazy because she puts up with me and our six kids.
I suppose there are different varieties and degrees of crazy.
"I've never heard of him. Have you ever heard of him, Jeeves?"
"I am familiar with the name Bassington-Bassington, sir. There are three branches of the Bassington-Bassington family--the Shropshire Bassington-Bassingtons, the Hampshire Bassington-Bassingtons, and the Kent Bassington-Bassingtons."
"England seems pretty well stocked up with Bassington-Bassingtons."
"Tolerably so, sir."
"No chance of a sudden shortage, I mean, what?"
"Presumably not, sir."
Jeeves Chump Cyril
Got that right. Pre-nups have been a G-dsend, though.
You never met the right nut! ;)
They very well could have an 'open marriage'.
Ok...i’ll make exceptions for that.
Sez you . . I was married at 30 and divorced at 36. If you are, like me, a successful businessman with a lot to lose in another divorce, there is absolutely zero reason to marry. I am 53 and just fine, fine, fine, fine fine with being single. I would rather cut off my arm than be married again.
Why do I have a hunch that this blogger is a toxic feminazi, one of the many women who with their spineless leftist “men” have made marriage into basically slavery for men, slavery that the woman can usually bail on with no consequence but poverty for her “sperm donor”?
Nah, couldn’t be...
PS Never married, just seen it too many times. Although to be fair, I did have a female friend get raked over by a meterosexual pedophile who knew how to work the system. Although she did finally get some semblance of justice - after 4 years of H#!!.
Seems to me there’s something to be said for marrying later, so calling anyone a “freak” is a load of BS. I married at 29, divorced at 39 and spent the next 10 years putting the pieces back together and getting myself on a good financial footing again. Now the kids are almost grown and I’d actually consider it again if the right woman were out there.
I should add: The legal system favors the scumbag, be it the man or woman. Thanks, feminazis!
Oh, yeah! Women who would NEVER use "Mrs. HisName" (because that's so oppressive) end up changing their names legally to HerName-hyphen-HisName. They're still taking HisName! The husbands don't hyphenate their names. Yet somehow this is considered a sign of a liberated woman...
I’ve never been married and when I look at some of the guys some women chose I kinda want to take as a compliment that they’ve never married me. LOL!
Yikes...i screwed up...I was 37 before i married...i don’t know why i posted 35...i guess i am or was a freak....or was approaching freakdom.....all in all, i am happy to be married and i do feel for the people that have went through nightmare marriages and divorces...life is stressful enough.
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