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Permissive parents: Curb your brats
CNN ^ | July 5, 2011 | LZ Granderson

Posted on 07/23/2011 10:13:44 AM PDT by Immerito

Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) -- If you're the kind of parent who allows your 5-year-old to run rampant in public places like restaurants, I have what could be some rather disturbing news for you.

I do not love your child.

The rest of the country does not love your child either.

And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner.

Or our plane ride.

Or trip to the grocery store.

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: childrearing; children; parenting; parents
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: Dilbert San Diego

Skillful parenting doesn’t even require corporal punishment to raise polite and well-disciplined children.


51 posted on 07/23/2011 12:32:49 PM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: TigerClaws
Some kids need less time out and more belt on butt.

Kids need more of what THEY don't like.

I preferred spankings to time out or being grounded. I wanted it over and done with.

52 posted on 07/23/2011 12:40:14 PM PDT by lonestar (It takes a village of idiots to elect a village idiot.)
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To: Immerito

Some may blame it on the “I’ll call 911 on you” syndrome, however, listening to our local police on the scanner they are called fairly often to help people with out of control children who are, as often as not, quite young.
This week, a seven year old and a ten year old. We didn’t need any help with our children at 7 or 10 and mom and dad certainly didn’t with us.


53 posted on 07/23/2011 12:42:27 PM PDT by John W (Natural-born US citizen since 1955)
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To: autumnraine

LOL. Raine, you’re a woman after my own heart. I was watching The One on TV & becoming more & more PO’ed every second. My 18 yo son walked in the room. I turned to look at him and he said “Sorry, mom.” Me..”Sorry for what?”...Son...”I don’t know. You were giving me The Look.” You have the clenched teeth; I have the slightly jutting lower jaw. Silences everyone in the room.


54 posted on 07/23/2011 12:47:40 PM PDT by constitutiongirl (The Truth is a Person.)
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To: Immerito

Reminds me of a comment a friend of mine has for these sort of permissive parent types ... “Payment in lieu of parent.”
They would rather give in to these wee heathens than teach them any sort of acceptable behavior.

As for me, these people need to grow up and be REAL parents to these kids and stop trying to be their friends. Their kids will find or make friends all on their own ... But they only have one set of parents. They need to gut up and start behaving like the parents these kids need and not as the sort the kids like.


55 posted on 07/23/2011 12:51:30 PM PDT by kschockeynut87 (I regret that I have but one life to give for my GOD, my family and my country.)
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To: Floyd Rivers

Sir, because people spend 300.00 + dollars a week at a grocery store does in no way give them the right to be abusive to workers or allow their children to impede the workers doing their jobs by knocking over merchandise, spinning the bag carousel so the cashier cannot bag merchandise, call the cashier names when we hold the carousel still because we need to bag their merchandise, throw things at us, call us vile names while the parent ignores it, not to leave out the customers who are already angry they have to wait in line and take it out on the cashier who is just trying to do their job.

You try not getting frustrated in that situation on 9 hours a day 5 days a week of repitition when all we are trying to do by doing our jobs is make your lives alittle better while some make ours miserable. I would never wish for a child to be smothered, but watching him kick and slap his mother while having a tantrum was too much.

If you think I should have been fired than fine. It is the only time in all my years as a cashier that I have lost it. I do my job and I do it graciously even under the worst abuse. I respect you for your opinion, but don’t judge until you have walked a mile in our shoes.


56 posted on 07/23/2011 12:58:33 PM PDT by mardi59 (T)
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To: republicangel
It’s not unlike adults who are sick, yet don’t appear sick.

Exactly!!! We have a man in our church who's heart is functioning at about 40%. You'd never know how sick he was by looking at him or even hearing him speak. Sometimes he looks tired but, that's about it.

57 posted on 07/23/2011 1:01:05 PM PDT by MsLady (Be the kind of woman that when you get up in the morning, the devil says, "Oh crap, she's UP !!")
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To: HungarianGypsy

Fully agree. For me, there is a distinct difference between a brat throwing a Screaming Mimi type tantrum and a happy and joyous child sometimes laughing out loud.

A smiling, happy child is an utter joy ... Brats are not.


58 posted on 07/23/2011 1:06:54 PM PDT by kschockeynut87 (I regret that I have but one life to give for my GOD, my family and my country.)
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To: 9422WMR; buccaneer81; zipper

Chilax holmslice.

I say hey sky, s’other say I won say I pray to J I get
the same ol’ same ol.

Dig?


59 posted on 07/23/2011 1:07:07 PM PDT by wolf24
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To: Immerito
I went to a eating Establishment and there was a bunch of these unruly children running about.
I suggested to the other at my table the owners should have two Border collies to herd the little buggers back in line.
One of the mothers over heard it and shot me the “stink eye”.
60 posted on 07/23/2011 1:08:06 PM PDT by Yorlik803 (better to die on your feet than live on your knees.)
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To: mardi59

I took the bag comment and ran with it. No one should have to deal with THAT level of garbage. I know your job is not easy. My kids would be crying in the parking lot if they treated you or the store like you describe. Thanks


61 posted on 07/23/2011 1:10:08 PM PDT by Floyd Rivers
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To: Immerito

I told my mom to shut up once. She grabbed me by my hair, yanked me over to the sink and proceeded to wash my mouth out with “Lava” soap. I must stress that I only did it once. Gee I wonder why.


62 posted on 07/23/2011 1:16:21 PM PDT by chae (I was anti-Obama before it was cool)
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To: chae

LOL...I knew if my Mom was using Lava instead of the regular stuff that she was really p*ssed...I did my best to stay out of her sight for several days.


63 posted on 07/23/2011 1:21:05 PM PDT by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: Yorlik803

What is it with wimpy parents today? I and my siblings would NEVER get away with this behavior in public. It would be a swift smack on the butt, or “the look”, or worst of all no punishment and a “wait til’ your dad gets home”. Kept us all in line. And God forbid if a teacher or a neighbor told my parents that I was disrespectful or ill-behaved. Believe me, my parents wouldn’t confront the teacher or neighbor. I’d be the one who suffered the consequences. Teachers today have to deal with parents who insist that their “angel” couldn’t possibly be a problem.


64 posted on 07/23/2011 1:23:22 PM PDT by boop ("Let's just say they'll be satisfied with LESS"... Ming the Merciless)
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To: Floyd Rivers

Bless your heart and thank you so much. Sometimes I wonder how I can smile through it all. Thank you


65 posted on 07/23/2011 1:26:37 PM PDT by mardi59 (T)
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To: famousdayandyear
By the way, by the time your perfect children — assuming they will work — pay into Social Security (oozing a little hate here), I will have been taken out by some bureaucrat serving on some panel under Obamacare. And btw, the reason you can write (perhaps speak) English and not German or Arabic, is because someone of your hateful senior generation gave their life for you and your perfect children.

You made a lot of wrong assumptions in your two posts. One, that I was defending incorrigible kids or their parents. Two, that I somehow was offending members of the Greatest Generation (my dad, a WWII combat navigator, who would agree with me). And three, that I am somehow not a patriot, after a similar military career.

So unload your bigoted assumptions and attitude on someone else.

And by the way, if you must live off social security, you are by definition a loser. All of us can agree on that.

66 posted on 07/23/2011 1:32:16 PM PDT by zipper
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To: 9422WMR

Yes, I called you out (anther slang term) because you were slamming (another slang term) another poster, who happens to be a mom with an autistic child. A child whose behavioral issues are misunderstood by insensitive strangers with no capacity for nuance (not a slang term).


67 posted on 07/23/2011 1:38:28 PM PDT by zipper
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To: COUNTrecount

“This relates to the “buddyfication” of parenting that is all around us.”

I find it ironic that so many (not picking on you COUNT) continue to use that word.

Is it just that I’m a cranky old phart? Does anyone else see the beginning of the problem at about the time “child rearing” became the more passive “parenting?”


68 posted on 07/23/2011 1:44:43 PM PDT by Peet (Leftists think personal liberty is so important it must be carefully rationed.)
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To: chris_bdba

Sorry.

I assumed intelligent people would extrapolate the exceptions to my statement.


69 posted on 07/23/2011 1:46:10 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Public employee unions are the barbarian hordes of our time.)
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To: zipper

Yes. worked for 50 years. Never took a dime from anybody. Lost my only son a few years ago. Yes. You could say I’m a loser.


70 posted on 07/23/2011 1:52:16 PM PDT by famousdayandyear
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To: Louis Foxwell

I like that retort. :-)


71 posted on 07/23/2011 2:03:00 PM PDT by Immerito (Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

Oh yes, my divorsed cousin’s children (three wild indians)often threatended to call child services if she ever tried to physically disapline them. Wonder where they learned that? In their leftist run schools most likely.


72 posted on 07/23/2011 2:05:02 PM PDT by Markdpez (Markdpez)
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To: zipper

I don’t think a responsible senior citizen would find a child who is not being taught to be responsible a comfortable thought.

Wise conservative parents discipline a child in accordance with their knowledge of what discipline measures are most effective with that child and in accordance with the situation.


73 posted on 07/23/2011 2:07:35 PM PDT by Immerito (Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days)
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To: MsLady

Unfortunately, autism is so over-diagnosed and misdiagnosed that it is becoming a synonym for “undisciplined child syndrome”.

There are some parents of children with a mental disorder who use the disorder to beg other adults to excuse *ALL* the child’s misbehavior.

Those parents ruin it for the parents whose kids really suffer from the disorder.


74 posted on 07/23/2011 2:09:58 PM PDT by Immerito (Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days)
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To: Markdpez
My kid tried that when he was about 12 years old

I dialed their number and handed him the phone

That was the end of that nonsense

75 posted on 07/23/2011 2:09:58 PM PDT by Popman (Obama. First Marxist to turn a five year Marxist plan into a 4 year administration.)
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To: Popman

Interesting tactic. Was he unwilling to talk to them, I presume? How long ago was this? 1 year? 3? 5? 10?


76 posted on 07/23/2011 2:11:54 PM PDT by Immerito (Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

In my children’s school district, corporal punishment is still used.

In high school, after just two instances of breaking the rules, like having your cellphone on and ringing during class time, the child will be removed from the high school and sent to alternative school.

The schools are very strict. I am pleased, as a parent. I want my children held to a higher standard. I expect them to behave in the home and at school. By learning how to behave like normal human beings when they are children, they will have a head start when they go out into the world and have to interact with others, take care of themselves, and become positive contributors to society.

Those that are raised with the shaky foundation that feelings trump behavioral standards, will not succeed and are in for a rude awakening. I feel sorry for them. Their parents are neglecting them, truly.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.


77 posted on 07/23/2011 2:18:11 PM PDT by Pan_Yans Wife (Utopia is being foisted on Americans for their own good.-- J. Robert Smith)
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To: Immerito

The fact that I used the “dial the phone” tells you it was a while ago

He’s 32 now and while I was dailing I was explaining how wonderful it would be for us to have him placed with complete strangers in foster care so we would not have put up with his bad behavior LOL

We have six and he was the one that tested us daily


78 posted on 07/23/2011 2:25:30 PM PDT by Popman (Obama. First Marxist to turn a five year Marxist plan into a 4 year administration.)
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To: Popman

Forget to add: as soon as I said foster care he hung up the phone


79 posted on 07/23/2011 2:32:48 PM PDT by Popman (Obama. First Marxist to turn a five year Marxist plan into a 4 year administration.)
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To: Floyd Rivers

Running amok in a store or bad behaviour in a restaurant from a child isn’t the same thing as a fussy, crying kid in the store. As a father of twins (now 13), I well remember those tired days and nights and trips to the store. And sometimes had to bring the kids if it couldn’t be helped.

They learned early on that they NEVER got a treat at the store, so they wouldn’t whine about “I want this....” Not to say that they sometimes were cranky and fussy. (They were both real collicky - not fun! And no restaurants for quite a while for us back then.) I feel bad when I see some mom at the store with 2 or 3 tired kids at 11 at night. I guess I give them the benefit of the doubt in that for some reason, that is her only option for shopping at that time.

One public place where we were VERY permissive with our kids. At the dog park by the river. All their clothes on, muddy puddles all over - splashing, getting wet, getting REAL muddy, playing with the dogs, just being kids. They would usually get fun looks from the adults. Sometimes not - especially when other kids would want to join in the fun but “No Sally - you’ll get all muddy!”


80 posted on 07/23/2011 2:39:39 PM PDT by 21twelve (Obama Recreating the New Deal: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2185147/posts)
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To: Immerito

Sometimes what parents don’t understand is “You only have to do it once” when it comes to removing the child from a restaurant for bad behavior.

The problem is the parents don’t want to interrupt their badly needed time with other grown-ups, so they try to convince the child to stop. You have to walk out with the child. It’s only once. Make that little sacrifice while your food gets cold and you won’t be sorry.


81 posted on 07/23/2011 2:50:54 PM PDT by firebrand (It's a scandal that we have not yet impeached Obama. Can we do it now? Now?)
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To: Immerito
I don't know about over diagnosed of misdiagnosed. If you've never had a child like this or delete with one, you can't imagine just how hard it can be to make these types of kids understand. The excuses often are not excuses. If the kid doesn't understand what you are trying to teach them, if they are off in their own little world. To reach that place takes years. It can be exhausting and emotionally draining. I use to wake up in tears and go to bed in tears.

My daughter was diagnosed 29 years ago. At first they didn't have a clue as to what was wrong with her, nor could they tell me how to discipline her, she didn't understand much of anything. She responded to things inappropriately, her communication was more parroting than much of anything else. Her understanding and comprehension was near zero. Try reaching someone like that. Along with being super hyper. She couldn't sit still at all. Seems everything overstimulated her. She would calm herself by chewing on something usually something rubbery. I kept a supply of teething rings or she would chew on her fingers. I had to watch her like a hawk. She would be into everything at once. And everything went into her mouth. She was more or less like that until about age 9, then things began to get better. Slowly over the years she's gotten better. I still can't leave her alone. She still lives at home, needs constant supervision. Her behavior is like night and day but, she still has her moments.

82 posted on 07/23/2011 2:52:07 PM PDT by MsLady (Be the kind of woman that when you get up in the morning, the devil says, "Oh crap, she's UP !!")
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To: Immerito
I don’t think a responsible senior citizen would find a child who is not being taught to be responsible a comfortable thought.

Wise conservative parents discipline a child in accordance with their knowledge of what discipline measures are most effective with that child and in accordance with the situation.

What in the hell are you talking about? Certainly nothing I posted. Read my posts again, and this time pay attention.

83 posted on 07/23/2011 3:29:14 PM PDT by zipper
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To: Psycho_Bunny

I’ve never animals in resturants unless they were service animals? Was not aware that that happened anywhere?


84 posted on 07/23/2011 3:29:39 PM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: famousdayandyear

Look at it this way — you made it to retirement. Good for you. At least you got something back from all those years of contributions, which is more than many of us yet to retire have coming to us.

And yes, the SS money you get now is not your money — that was spent the year you had it taken out of your check. The money you get now is someone else’s money taken from them in the same ponzi scheme.

And losing your son has nothing to do with it.


85 posted on 07/23/2011 3:36:13 PM PDT by zipper
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To: Popman

ROFLOL! My Mom did somethign similar with my younger sister ona day when she was havign a very bad bad behavior wise.We still have what was an old children’s home nearby and back then was still one.Mom also had called the Sears repairman to come fix the washer.Well she told my sister if she did not shape up she was calling the Children’s home to come and get her.About 20 minutes later the Sears’s van pulled in and since my sister could not read yet....LOL


86 posted on 07/23/2011 3:36:18 PM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: Popman
There is a Canadian comic who goes by the name Russell Peters who is Indian by birth and does a hilarious comedy routine around that circumstance. Basically he learns from his schoolmates that he can bully his parents by threatening to call CS ( Child Services) on them if they try to discipline him

His dad asks him to help wash the dishes and he is told to basically FO. I'll call CPS on you if you touch me.

His dad says ok tough guy your in for it now, call them, and hands him the phone.

But dad you'll go to jail if you beat me.

Maybe, maybe not but it will take them at least 20-30 minutes to get here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4oO7ZdfSFI

87 posted on 07/23/2011 3:57:44 PM PDT by Polynikes (Hakkaa Palle)
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To: Polynikes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4oO7ZdfSFI


88 posted on 07/23/2011 3:59:07 PM PDT by Polynikes (Hakkaa Palle)
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To: Polynikes

Thanks, that was very funny...on on the mark


89 posted on 07/23/2011 4:09:30 PM PDT by Popman (Obama. First Marxist to turn a five year Marxist plan into a 4 year administration.)
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To: Immerito

I was in a department store once, in the women’s clothing section. Even though the store was pretty empty and I tried to keep avoiding them by going to other racks, a two year old slammed into me several times. Since I had open-toed shoes, by the third time he body slammed me and stepped on my feet, I saw red. I said out loud “please, control your kids!”

Boy, that turned into a screaming match with the mother, who felt that I had no business saying a thing. I probably shouldn’t have shouted it out like I did, but she should have apologized or just left.

She started yelling “do you have kids?” I wish I had thought of a snappier response like “yes, and I don’t take them to stores instead of a playground.”

Then, she got on the phone to try to call security, but I hadn’t laid a hand on anyone and probably could have sued THEM ! (ahahha, no security came anyway)

When I was a nanny for six years, not once did I ever even come close to needing to discipline the girls. They behaved like angels whenever we were out in public. They might have needed a time out here and there at home, but not in public.

I’ve also had anniversary dinners ruined when kids are wildly running around, kicking tables, jumping up and down on chairs. I wanted to ask the manager to do something the last time, but my husband said to let it go....Although the food was outstanding, we’ll never go back.

I especially detest the spoiled parents and brats in Target. However, I often do see VERY well-behaved children and I try to compliment them to their parents. Balance out the karma or something.


90 posted on 07/23/2011 4:11:52 PM PDT by Borax Queen
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To: MsLady

It can and has been overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed.

http://townhall.com/columnists/thomassowell/2007/11/13/crusades_versus_caution

I have personally witnessed an 8-year-old “autistic” (according to the mother) boy assault (the victim’s clothing was torn and four buttons had been pulled off) another person who was playing with his brother. After being initially apologetic, the mother explained that “he gets jealous when people play with Johnny; if Victim had spent more time paying attention to him, it wouldn’t have happened.”

Did the autistic child get a lesson about personal responsibility that day? Nope.

But the victim sure got a lesson “I have to be responsible for my behavior, but Johnny’s Mommy thinks its my fault if Johnny isn’t responsible for his.”

Those are the kind of parents you are, likely unfairly, being compared to. The parents who make excuses when their kids act out of line.


91 posted on 07/23/2011 4:15:06 PM PDT by Immerito (Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days)
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To: MsLady

It can and has been overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed. This article names some common ways that it can be so.

http://townhall.com/columnists/thomassowell/2007/11/13/crusades_versus_caution

I have personally witnessed an 8-year-old “autistic” (according to the mother; we’ll call him Billy) boy assault (the victim’s clothing was torn and four buttons had been pulled off) another person who was playing with his brother. After being initially apologetic, the mother explained that “Billy gets jealous when people play with Johnny; if Victim had spent more time paying attention to him, it wouldn’t have happened.” on about personal responsibility that day? Nope.

But the victim sure got a lesson “I have to be responsible for my behavior, but Billy & Johnny’s Mommy thinks its my fault if Billy isn’t responsible for his.”

Those are the kind of parents you are, likely unfairly, being compared to. The parents who make excuses when their kids act out of line.


92 posted on 07/23/2011 4:19:39 PM PDT by Immerito (Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days)
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To: Immerito

Hallelujah!

Been waiting for somebody to say this sort of thing.

I don’t have a problem with kids, in fact a youngun comes around and does some work for me now and then. Excellent worker. Always asks questions. Never complains. Very smart little kid!

But alot of these kids these days act like they’re in training to be the anti-Christ! No kiddin!

And their parents CANNOT accept the fact that the whole damn world doesn’t revolve around their little precious(s)!

I’ve come seriously close to taking matters into my own hands, ESPECIALLY when I see the little monsters dissing their own parents and it doesn’t even phase the parents....

Grrrrrrr.......!!!!!!


93 posted on 07/23/2011 4:38:21 PM PDT by djf ("Life is never fair...And perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not." Oscar Wilde)
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To: Immerito

Yea I agree, if the kid can understand then there is no excuse. This is how I handle it, she hasn’t gotten control of herself yet, we are still in the process of teaching her and she is still learning. And that’s what those parents should do. Kids, whether learning disabled, or normal, will meet whatever expectations you have of them(within reason that is). I expect my daughter to behave according to what she understands the rest we are in the process of teaching her. It’s been a very slow process but, she is still growing and I’m very proud of her. When I look back at what she was like at 4 and what she is like at 31, it’s the difference of night and day.


94 posted on 07/23/2011 5:10:15 PM PDT by MsLady (Be the kind of woman that when you get up in the morning, the devil says, "Oh crap, she's UP !!")
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To: Louis Foxwell
I kinda like Chris Muir's take:

http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/2011/07/15/

:-)

95 posted on 07/23/2011 5:28:26 PM PDT by Immerito (Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days)
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To: buccaneer81

Yes,actually I am!(a riot at parties)
Did you yahoos miss the /S?
JUST SAYiNG!
Duh.......


96 posted on 07/23/2011 6:09:09 PM PDT by 9422WMR (FOBO)
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To: Louis Foxwell

My grandfather was born in 1911 to immigrants from Eastern Europe. They had been through the mines and work camps and made their way to a steel city. When he was fourteen his father told him to leave school because the mill was hiring and that was that. His schooling was at the local Catholic school. He said once that the pastor beat him with a garden hose for doing wrong and he was deathly afraid of telling his father about it for fear of being beat worse. His generation was the so called greatest generation. Must have done something right.


97 posted on 07/23/2011 8:57:50 PM PDT by bradthebuilder (Saint Michael the Archangel defend us in the day of battle)
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To: christx30

I don’t know how old your son is — my boys are 4 — but when they act up like that (occasionally, luckily not often!), the stuff THEY want, such as a little toy, or special bagels or whatever they asked for, will get left behind. No treats for naughty kids, and they know it. One day we went to Burger King (special treat for my kids) and one of them would not behave. So we took the food and went home and ate it there, instead of eating at the restaurant, which was what they both wanted. My “special snowflake” has NOT repeated the behavior that made me take him straight home. :) They hate losing special treats and privileges.

(And yes, I have “the look,” and while I only use the flat of my hand on a little behind, and usually only one time, I have “the spank” too! I have had many people comment on how well-behaved my kids are in public.) (Though of course there are moments like the one in Burger King! LOL!)


98 posted on 07/24/2011 2:23:28 AM PDT by Hetty_Fauxvert ("And I'm actually happy to be, for us to be the moat with alligators party." -- Mark Steyn)
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To: Immerito
I am not childless, I am childFREE. I have left several establishments because of screaming children. AND, I let the manager or owner know why.

I do not agree with the author's politics, but I agree with this article.

I have no problem with parents who keep their kids under control, but when they let them run and scream like some do, I get really pissed.

99 posted on 07/24/2011 7:40:23 AM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: Hetty_Fauxvert

When my kids (boy 5, girl 3) act like that, I don’t give them special stuff. They were fighting over who got to pop the bubble wrap yesterday. So my wife sat them down side by side, and she popped every bubble... one... by...one.
He started saying “That’s not fair!”


100 posted on 07/24/2011 9:23:33 AM PDT by christx30
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