Posted on 12/09/2011 4:50:04 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Just a few decades ago, sending Christmas cards through the mail was a holiday "must". Sending cards through the mail continues to be very popular. The cost and time for writing and sending cards has caused many people to stop sending them. Free Ecards have surged in popularity. Animated Christmas and seasonal Ecards have made sending and receiving them a lot of fun.
Today is a good day to send out your Christmas cards and holiday greetings. If you have yet to do so, use today to get a start.
We Cringelys are known for our Christmas cards, I admit, because we make them ourselves and we’re naked. The tradition began by accident and now our cards are so popular friends remind us to send them. Making naked Christmas cards that are tasteful isn’t easy, either, but we do it. With three little boys you can only go so long until they begin to realize they are, well, naked. That leads in our family not so much to protestations of modesty as to demands for bribes. The price of this year’s photo session was $2 worth of sour gummy worms per kid. Yum.
This is the second year in a row we’ve been rejected by Kinkos. “I remember you,” said Ms. Johnson, handing back my USB drive with a look of disdain. It was hard for me to tell whether this was a different look of disdain from the one I got when Ms. Johnson had to put down her cellphone to serve me in the first place.
I appealed last year’s rejection to the store manager, a man. After all Kinkos — the very same Kinkos — had happily printed our cards the previous four years. We were posing last year in a fishing boat, wearing life vests, strategic shadows, and nothing else. “I see something there, ” said the manager, pointing at what would have been the groin of my six year-old if it hadn’t been well-hidden behind a light on the boat.
“What do you see?” I asked.
“You know,” he said.
“It’s a navigation light,” I said.
“I don’t think so.”
“It’s green,” I said. “It’s a green navigation light.”
Our cards show nothing. They are just for fun. Summer vacation photos that families print at the same store show more — lots more — than our cards ever do.
When we were rejected last year I was working two days per week in San Francisco, so I had the cards printed there at another Kinkos, South of Market. I told the whole rejection/obscenity story to the pierced and tattooed San Francisco Kinkos counterman, who found it hilarious. He threw-in a few extra cards for free.
The U. S. Supreme Court allowed years ago that obscenity standards could vary based on “local values,” but such values have to be uniformly applied. If a Fedex Kinkos in Charleston will print a picture of a girl in a bikini or a boy with his shirt off, then they should print my Christmas cards.
I’ll be calling Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, in the morning. If enough of you tell your friends about this column before then, maybe Fred will be expecting my call.
Here’s the picture. What do you think?
IBTP!!!!
Hilarious
Woohoo!!! It’s Friday!!!
Top Ten!
DEAR ABBY:
“I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?”
Sam in California.
DEAR SAM:
“Register as a Republican, and run for public office.”
Abby
Having had this surgery on bofe sides my ownself, I feel kinda sorry for the poor sap a little later this afternoon and evening.
I think Laz approves of the Mom...
In your dreams.
ping...
wooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo TGIF
I can just imagine where the Peterson Family sent that card...
bump
Top 20
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