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NFL limits Broncos to a 10 man lineup.

Posted on 01/13/2012 4:40:35 PM PST by A'elian' nation

Breaking News - Roger Goodell has just announced that the Denver Broncos will only have ten men in the lineup in tomorrow’s playoff game with the New England Patriots. Goodell says that 43% of the public believes that God is helping Tebow. That being the case, Goodell has declared God as Denver’s eleventh player on the field. Not only is this shattering news just breaking, but NFL headquarters has released a transcript of the top level meeting between Goodell, Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots, and John Elway of the Denver Broncos.

Transcript follows:

Kraft: Look Roger, there is something fundamentally unfair when our team has to compete against not only all the players on the Bronco’s bench but God Almighty too !

Elway: Now, Bob, don’t get over dramatic. Aren’t you just being a bit ridiculous?

Kraft: Ridiculous? You call 316 passing yards ridiculous? 31.6 average yards per toss ridiculous? The HailMaryious Pass ridiculous? The Mile High Halo ridiculous? There is something more than just strange coincidences going on here.

Goodell: What are you suggesting we do here, Bob?

Kraft: I want you to take one man out of their lineup. It’s only fair.

Elway: What! So God is only equal to one ignoramus football player? Why not just put Tebow out there all by himself?

Kraft: Well, he needs someone to hike him the ball.

Elway: How about someone to catch it?

Kraft: Ok, we’ll give you Eric Decker.

Elway: He’s got a busted knee, you idiot!

Kraft: What, Tebow doesn’t do Laying on of Hands?

Goodell: Ok, break it up. I know it’s my responsibility to have a fair game tomorrow. The last thing I want is another Immaculate Reception. I still haven’t gotten over the Miracle at the Meadowlands, or the Helmet Catch, Frank Reich’s miracle comebacks - twice mind you, Staubach’s Hail Mary, the Music City Miracle, The Catch, and, oh my God, then there was The Drive! Look John, you got to admit there have been some strange happenings for the Broncos.

Elway: You’re calling The Drive miraculous? You sorry ass, I worked my butt off . . .

Goodell: Ok Ok. But I had $10,000 on the Cleveland Browns in that game. I got to do something about these miracles. It’s fundamentally unfair. I’m taking one man out of your lineup, John, and drafting God.

Elway: But the game isn’t even on a Sunday! He might have other plans on a Saturday night.

Goodell: That’s my ruling. If you don’t like it take it to the Supreme Court.

Elway: Which One ?


TOPICS: Sports
KEYWORDS: broncos; chat; god; nfl; sports; vanity

1 posted on 01/13/2012 4:40:47 PM PST by A'elian' nation
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To: A'elian' nation

Weak.


2 posted on 01/13/2012 4:44:03 PM PST by editor-surveyor (No Federal Sales Tax - No Way!)
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To: A'elian' nation

3 posted on 01/13/2012 4:45:46 PM PST by colorado tanker
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To: A'elian' nation

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/jap.wav


4 posted on 01/13/2012 4:46:59 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: A'elian' nation
Silicone injections and Parodies...

Can be done by amateurs, but best left to professionals.

5 posted on 01/13/2012 4:50:38 PM PST by Tex-Con-Man (T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII 2012 - "Together, I Shall Ride You To Victory")
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To: A'elian' nation

Nicely done!


6 posted on 01/13/2012 4:51:01 PM PST by REDWOOD99 ("Everyone should pay taxes. Everyone should pay the same rate.)
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To: editor-surveyor

Yep. That there satire thing is tough to do. LOL!


7 posted on 01/13/2012 4:52:43 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: A'elian' nation

It is fun rooting for Tebow. He isn’t ‘playin wit dee Ho’s,’ smoking crack, shooting heroin, beating up old ladies, shoplifting, committing armed robbery and swearing a blue streak while being interviewed.


8 posted on 01/13/2012 4:53:39 PM PST by AEMILIUS PAULUS (It is a shame that when these people give a riot)
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To: A'elian' nation
“..transcript of the top level meeting between Goodell, Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots, and John Elway of the Denver Broncos..”

baloney - how can you have a top level meeting without God presiding?

I recall from the forties, my FB team from a podunk town playing a big Catholic school in nearby city. We are out there against these monsters looking at the sidelines lines full of priests and nuns hollering and hooting for their guys. Our coach complained that he had agreed to play eleven at a time. The refs did clear some out, but it was not good. They killed us and broke the leg of our only star player. Such is life!

9 posted on 01/13/2012 5:00:21 PM PST by elpadre (AfganistaMr Obama said the goal was to "disrupt, dismantle and defeat al-Qaeda" and its allies.)
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To: A'elian' nation
“..transcript of the top level meeting between Goodell, Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots, and John Elway of the Denver Broncos..”

baloney - how can you have a top level meeting without God presiding?

I recall from the forties, my FB team from a podunk town playing a big Catholic school in nearby city. We are out there against these monsters looking at the sidelines lines full of priests and nuns hollering and hooting for their guys. Our coach complained that he had agreed to play eleven at a time. The refs did clear some out, but it was not good. They killed us and broke the leg of our only star player. Such is life!

10 posted on 01/13/2012 5:02:06 PM PST by elpadre (AfganistaMr Obama said the goal was to "disrupt, dismantle and defeat al-Qaeda" and its allies.)
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To: A'elian' nation

“NFL limits Broncos to a 10 man lineup.”

God reinstates Tebow’s full force lineup and promises punishing high winds DURING Sat night’s game nullifying any possible Pats passing advantage.

Breaking News: Weathercast now confirms it.


11 posted on 01/13/2012 5:04:54 PM PST by CainConservative (Newt/Santorum 2012 with Cain, Huck, Petraeus, Parker, Watts, Duncan, & Bachmann in Newt's Cabinet)
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To: elpadre

From what I’ve seen of Denver games, God generally doesn’t take the field until the final 3 minutes of the game.


12 posted on 01/13/2012 5:05:49 PM PST by Qout
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To: Qout

I don’t believe God helps Tebow any more than any other player.

But a thank you doesn’t hurt.


13 posted on 01/13/2012 5:10:17 PM PST by Venturer
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To: A'elian' nation

The Patriots are gonna KILL the Broncos.

Maybe if Emmitt Smith could be reincarnated from his prime and put into their backfield, they’d have a chance.


14 posted on 01/13/2012 5:12:14 PM PST by KoRn (Department of Homeland Security, Certified - "Right Wing Extremist")
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To: Qout

I’m rooting for the meteor.

Cheatroits/Donkeys?

Smite! Smite!


15 posted on 01/13/2012 5:19:23 PM PST by BenKenobi (Rick Santorum - "The Force is strong with this one")
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To: AEMILIUS PAULUS

-——It is fun rooting for Tebow. He isn’t ‘playin wit dee Ho’s,’ smoking crack, shooting heroin, beating up old ladies, shoplifting, committing armed robbery and swearing a blue streak while being interviewed.——

....and to boot.....he speaks a version of the English language I can understand....


16 posted on 01/13/2012 5:20:34 PM PST by Popman (Obama is God's curse upon the land....)
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To: A'elian' nation

Techniqually God is three personalities in one so the Bronco’s should be limited to 9 human players.


17 posted on 01/13/2012 5:25:05 PM PST by Grunthor (I am a conservative, neither half of the one party represents my views.)
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To: A'elian' nation

My pastor, who says he has a “personal relationship with Jesus”, and so he’d know first hand, is betting on the Broncos.


18 posted on 01/13/2012 5:25:05 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: CainConservative
nullifying any possible Pats passing advantage

You have obviously never seen Brady play in bad weather. Take the Pats, give the 13&1/2, money in the bank.

19 posted on 01/13/2012 5:26:12 PM PST by j_tull ("I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.")
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To: A'elian' nation

Dear Lord, I know you probably couldnt care less about who wins or loses in football, or any other sport for that matter, but please let the Broncos beat the Patriots just so I can see the looks on the Tebow haters faces. Thanks.

p.s. A little help for the Texans would be nice to, while you are at it. Thanks and Amen


20 posted on 01/13/2012 5:33:43 PM PST by allsouthern
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To: A'elian' nation
Tebowie
21 posted on 01/13/2012 5:34:24 PM PST by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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To: A'elian' nation

Gee..is that suppose to be cute? The word fail comes to mind.


22 posted on 01/13/2012 5:55:02 PM PST by Outlaw Woman ( Hello, Hello...Remember me...I'm everything you can't control...)
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To: Qout

God loves them (and us) all.

Those who pray and praise him don’t bring God any closer to the one in prayer, but does bring the one in prayer closer to God.


23 posted on 01/13/2012 6:12:49 PM PST by elpadre (AfganistaMr Obama said the goal was to "disrupt, dismantle and defeat al-Qaeda" and its allies.)
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To: A'elian' nation

If G-d is in the lineup then the Patriots just better forfeit the game and go home.


24 posted on 01/13/2012 6:28:18 PM PST by SkyDancer ("If You Want To Learn To Love Better, You Should Start With A Friend Who You Hate")
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To: colorado tanker

25 posted on 01/13/2012 7:03:43 PM PST by BobP (The piss-stream media - Never to be watched again in my house)
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To: colorado tanker

Hey, c t!
You psyched for the game?
We will be a divided home tomorrow night - I’ll be Tebowing whilst hub will be worshipping at the Bellycheck altar...
let the popcorn fly!!!!
Good luck...gin


26 posted on 01/13/2012 7:21:15 PM PST by matginzac
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To: j_tull; CainConservative
"You have obviously never seen Brady play in bad weather. Take the Pats, give the 13&1/2, money in the bank.

Yep. Good bet. Brady can play in snow, I think...


27 posted on 01/13/2012 9:47:41 PM PST by jessduntno ("'How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think." - Adolph Hitler)
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To: allsouthern

Yes He does in whatever serves His purposes in victory or defeat. Go Broncos.


28 posted on 01/14/2012 5:05:03 AM PST by bjorn14 (Woe to those who call good evil and evil good. Isaiah 5:20)
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To: matginzac
Well, I was excited. Hope Hub didn't rub it in too hard.
29 posted on 01/16/2012 1:26:51 PM PST by colorado tanker
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