Posted on 03/18/2012 3:47:30 PM PDT by nickcarraway
What's the secret to getting sober and repairing the other broken parts of an alcoholic's life? It starts with setting your own terms, writes Paul Carr.
For years I'd told myself I wasn't an alcoholic. I never drank alone. I didn't wake up with fierce cravings, and sometimes I went for one or two days without drinking. A need to drink all day, every day, was never my problem.
My problem was that once I had a drink—whether it was at 7 p.m. or 9 a.m.—I couldn't stop until my body shut down and I passed out in a pile on the floor. I still had plenty of friends and still managed to hold down a job, but my relationship with alcohol was very obviously different from most people's. I was an alcoholic.
As of Saturday, the counter on my website says "878 days." Eight hundred seventy-eight days since I had my last alcoholic drink. Eight hundred seventy-eight days since I declared—very publicly—that my drinking had passed the point where it was funny, crazy or even merely dangerous. In fact, my addiction to alcohol had reached a stage where it was highly likely to kill me.
Enough was enough. So I decided to quit. But I didn't do it in the typical way.
For one thing, I didn't go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Not a single meeting. I have several friends who attend AA and have found it to be a highly effective way to quit. I have plenty of other friends who attend AA meetings every morning and are blind drunk every night. I almost attended a meeting at the suggestion of a friend, but first I decided to read the organization's Twelve Steps, the program that members must follow. The first step was enough to confirm that this form of
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
I am not trying to pursuade anyone. Knowing alcoholics and being an alcoholic are different things. like I said, I hope you never experience the ravages firsthand.
Hildy you are so wrong on that comment. There are many functional alcoholics in this world. I know, I would probably be considered one. Doesn’t a day go by I don’t have drink, some days more, some days less, I doubt I could function with out it.
The problem with your theory is that a real alcoholic/addict cannot partake moderately. Returning to his/her drinking/drugs/whatever addiction may begin with moderation, but it won’t last long.
AA helped me a lot. I also went to NA (Narcotics Anonymous) which was helpful. I think the problem some people get into is that AA/NA becomes a religion for them. To them, anyone who doesn't go to a meeting every day isn't sober/clean.
But I would never discourage anyone from going who wants to get clean. All rehab does (unless it is inpatient) is drain your wallet while they tell you to go to 12 step meetings.
Inpatient rehab is a different story, but most people can't afford that today, and most insurance will balk at covering it.
You guys are so full of crap it’s pathetic, many alcoholics maintain daily!
Only a person who’s never been in a situation where they are supposed to share and found themselves incapable of even opening their mouth would say that. We ain’t all wired the same, some folks can control their drinking, some folks can discuss their problems. My first panic attack happened in a shrink’s office, and I was there voluntarily, think about that.
Laz, sometimes you make so much sense, it scares me.
Not quite: If one is not powerless over alcohol, then the statement "we are powerless over alcohol" is, of course, not true.
However, for those of us that are powerless over alcohol, that statement is true.
And the Big Book actually invites you to find out for yourself which group you are in:
"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
So, if a person wishes, AA invites them to discover if they are, or are not, powerless over alcohol.
My ex told me that shortly before she wrecked her car and later lost her job (which somehow was my fault). From what I have heard, she's found a way to function without it since.
I think the point of the article, especially if you get to the end, is to encourage people who’ve found AA doesn’t work for them. Because there’s this big crowd of people who insist the only way is the AA way, and the success rate is no better than any other program, it could become very discouraging to the folks who can’t work the program. The tragedy would be the ones for whom AA doesn’t work (which by most stats would be 90% of the people or more) thinking that means they’re doomed. There’s a path for everybody, they just gotta find it.
Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith had nearly four years sober, when they wrote the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
And both remained sober for the rest of their lives.
This guy has about 2.5 yrs.
I’ll stick with AA, flaws/weaknesses and all.
Served me well for 18 yrs, 1 month and 13 days.
Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith had nearly four years sober, when they wrote the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
And both remained sober for the rest of their lives.
This guy has about 2.5 yrs.
I’ll stick with AA, flaws/weaknesses and all.
Served me well for 18 yrs, 1 month and 13 days.
‘Cat, you are hot today!!!!
That's a true statement.
FWIW, I worked in bars also, and I'm married to a retired medical doctor, who practiced psychiatry for 35 years. There is no such thing as a "moderate drinking" alcoholic, because alcoholics are powerless over alcohol. They cannot control their intake in the long run, be it a week, month or year.
Don't kid yourself.
Yea, then they didn't drink the way I drank.
A hard-drinker is not necessarily the same as an alcoholic - no sane person could ever drink the way I drank - for long.
You could set your watch by my grandmother’s drinking, coffee until noon, beer from noon to 5, screwdrivers from 5 to bed time. Almost certainly an alcoholic, but never missed a day of work (or other obligation) from it, so definitely functional.
First of all, you have to want to be alcohol free for it to work. How about those that don’t wan’t to be alcohol free, what do you have for them? Just because you drink doesn’t make you a bad person, well, some people it does, but not everyone.
You don’t have to share at an AA meeting. The are no rules.
If someone truly wants to stop drinking, they will do whatever needs to be done.
My point exactly, definition of an alcoholic, someone dependent on alcohol, doeasn’t mean they couldn’t function!
You function.. Until you can’t. If or when that time comes, know there is help out there.
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