Skip to comments.(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)
Posted on 03/23/2012 5:40:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
When : Always March 23rd
National Chip and Dip Day celebrates America's favorite snack duet. If you re holding a party, it is almost certain that chips and dips are on the snack list. The only possible exclusion would be for an Ice Cream party.
Today is best celebrated in the evening with a bag of chips
and your favorite dip.
If bullcrap were music Obama would be a brass band:
Obama: ‘If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon’
Send me a new keyboard and monitor.
Wife is still laughing.
The Luck of the Irish reaches Korea. :)
I went to a major league game last season. You know, the prices and all, I could only afford tickets up on the "300" level. Still, great seats.
As I was sitting up there, enjoying the ball game, I thought I saw a friend of mine, down near the field. I stood up and yelled (hands cuppped around my mouth) "HEY STEVE!!!!". No response from who I thought was my friend in the 100 level.
A few innings later, I said to my wife "I'm sure that's Steve. I'm going to try again. HEY STEEEEVE!!!" This time, even louder.
It was getting a little obvious I was annoying those around me so I cooled it, but at the bottom of the 9th, I figured what the heck. I'd probably not see those around me again. And If that was my buddy Steve, maybe we could meet for dinner after the game. So I stood up, and with all my might yelled "HEY STEEEEEEEEEVE !!!!!!!.
This time I got a response. A guy, way down lowwwwwwwww stood up and yelled back at me "I'm not Steve !!!"
Years ago, I was in my office, when my secretary came in and asked, "May I use your Dictaphone?"
I replied, "No thanks. Use your finger like every one else!!"
An Italian husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine
restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to
their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says
she’ll see him later and walks away.
... The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who was that?”
“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”
“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”
“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get
a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more
wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in
the garage and no more yacht club. No more credit card and large Bank
accounts. But.... The decision is all yours.”
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
“Who’s that woman with Tony?” asks the wife.
“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.
“Ours is prettier,” she replies. ; )
There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.”
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
“But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.”
Answered the jury foreman: “Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t.”
TOP 55! YY, me!
A little Jimi Hendrix:
Old mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
Oh-Oh to get her poor dog a bone
But when she bent over
Rover took over
Because he had a bone of his own!!!
Next year's starting lineup will be Bryant Favors Gay Love Sessions.
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