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(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Posted on 04/13/2012 5:59:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen


"Republicans are now starting to accept the fact that Mitt Romney will be their nominee for president. But you know, they're not that excited about it. It's kind of like starting to accept that you're going to prom with your sister." –Jay Leno

"That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, ‘She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car." –Bill Maher

"Mitt Romney just barely won the Republican primary in Ohio by 1%. Then Romney made the mistake of saying, 'Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a victory for the 1%!'" –Conan O'Brien

"First Mitt won Iowa, then he lost Iowa? That's a classic Romney flip-flop." –Stephen Colbert



"Congratulations to Mitt Romney. He won the New Hampshire primary last night. See, this is proof that even the multimillionaire son of a multimillionaire can beat the odds and run for president of the United States." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was he likes to set poor people on fire." –Conan O'Brien

"Mitt Romney says he understands the middle class, and that he knows it's not easy keeping a roof over your family's heads — as well as vacation roofs in San Diego, New Hampshire, and Park City, Utah." –Jay Leno

"How about Mitt Romney? Now there's a guy who looks like you would see his picture on a package of men's briefs." –David Letterman



"I'm having trouble warming up to Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy in the restaurant that comes to your table to make sure everything's all right." –David Letterman

"Apparently a large branch of Mitt Romney’s family lives in Mexico. ... His grandfather in the late 1800s moved his whole family to Mexico to avoid being prosecuted for polygamy. ... Mitt can use that to show that he’s tough on immigration. His family kicked themselves out of the country." –Jimmy Kimmel

"As the Republicans continue checking underneath every available flag pin and Bible for viable candidates, presumed de facto frontrunner candidate Mitt Romney has gotta be thinking, ‘What the fudge? This is starting to hurt where my feelings should be.'" –Jon Stewart

"According to a poll, over 50 percent of viewers thought Mitt Romney won this week's presidential debate. They thought Mitt Romney won, yeah. Romney credits the win to his grasp of the issues and the good people at Mattel, who built him." —Conan O'Brien

"Mitt Romney says President Obama's promises are like Kim Kardashian's wedding vows. President Obama shot back. He said Romney's positions last about half as long as a Kim Kardashian wedding." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney has come under fire for his pledge to eliminate federal funding for PBS. Romney said, 'When I'm president, the only operated puppet speaking to kids will be me." –Conan O'Brien



"Political analysts are saying that Mitt Romney is having trouble generating enthusiasm among Iowa voters. Now, ladies and gentlemen, you know you have a problem when people in Iowa find you dull." –Conan O'Brien

"Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions." –David Letterman

"In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking about.'" –Jimmy Fallon

‎"Mitt Romney’s wife says her husband loves caffeine free Diet Coke. Or as it's known in the Mormon community, the ultimate gateway drug." –Conan O'Brien

"Mitt Romney tried to make a $10,000 bet with Rick Perry during a presidential debate. Well, who says the Republicans are rich snobs out of touch with the common man?" –Jay Leno

"Many voters feel that Mitt Romney is out of touch with real Americans after he tried to make a bet with Rick Perry for $10,000. When asked to comment, Mitt said, 'I'm sorry, but that's all I had in my pocket at the time.'" –Conan O'Brien



"Mitt Romney admitted in an interview, 'I tasted a beer and tried a cigarette once as a wayward teenager and never did it again. This has the makings of the lamest 'Behind the Music' special yet." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Most analysts agree the big debate winner last night was Mitt Romney, who stuck closely to his strategy of not being any of the other candidates." –Jimmy Kimmel

"You got to feel bad for poor Mitt Romney. He's in their plugging every week, and every week somebody gets ahead of him. The people who have led Mitt so far: Donal Trump, then Michele Bachmann, then Rick Perry, now Herman Cain. He's been led by a reality show star, a crazy lady, a stuttering cowboy, and the guy who brings the pizza. That's gotta hurt a little." –Bill Maher


"The founder of Home Depot announced that he is supporting Mitt Romney for president. It's kind of a nice story, because Mitt Romney was actually assembled with parts from Home Depot." –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney was sitting down with some unemployed workers the other day. Mitt is worth a quarter of a billion dollars, and he said, 'Hey, I'm unemployed too.' That is the famous Mormon sense of humor. A little tip Mitt, your people are only funny when the 'South Park' guys write your jokes. " —Bill Maher

"Mitt Romney has announced he's running for president in 2012. At the same time, he's announced he'll try again in 2016." —Stephen Colbert

"Experts are predicting that in the first Republican debate, Mitt Romney will face his fiercest ideological opponent: himself from four years ago." —Conan O'Brien

 
 

"Mitt Romney was on the 'Today Show' and admitted he likes to read the 'Twilight' books and watch 'American Idol.' If elected, he would be the 1st Mormon and the 1st 13-year-old girl to be President." —Jimmy Kimmel

"I think Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin would be the perfect ticket. She can't answer basic questions, and he has two answers for every question." —Jay Leno

"Well, the presidential race is getting interesting. In an effort to clear up his reputation as a flip-flopper, Mitt Romney will give a speech on health care. And then, right afterward, he'll give a five-minute rebuttal." —Jay Leno

"No! Not Captain Buzzkill! Not the guy who looks like everyone who ever fired your dad! He's gonna suck all the fun right out of this crazy thing. Just look at the online video announcing his run. It looks like it could double as an ad for erectile dysfunction pills. 'Mitt Romney: for when the moment's right.'" —Jon Stewart on Mitt Romney running for president

"Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership.... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial." —David Letterman



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; romney; silliness
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Over the weekend, Mitt Romney was actually spotted bodyboarding in California. Yeah, Romney would have gone surfing, but you know — he hates standing for something.
1 posted on 04/13/2012 5:59:21 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen
Woo Hoo!!!! It's finally Friday!!!!


2 posted on 04/13/2012 6:00:06 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR DOGS?




CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST



 

3 posted on 04/13/2012 6:02:02 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO TGIF!!!


4 posted on 04/13/2012 6:02:02 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: Lucky9teen

I’m beginning to think the FR has turned into the democratic underground site or something akin to moveon.org. I’m seeing a lot of hate the rich on this thread, and besides, Romney gave all, ALL, the money away he inherited from his father, look it up.


5 posted on 04/13/2012 6:04:27 AM PDT by Scythian
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To: Currentriverrat

Top 10!


6 posted on 04/13/2012 6:05:09 AM PDT by freebird5850 (Of course Obama loves his country...but I love the United States of America.)
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To: Lucky9teen

WOOO HOOO! TOP TEN!!!!!!!!!!


7 posted on 04/13/2012 6:05:35 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (In Memphis on January 20, 2009, pump price were $1.49. We all know what happened after that.)
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To: Currentriverrat

8 posted on 04/13/2012 6:05:52 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Currentriverrat

OH YEAH>>>>>off today and going away to my buddys trailer. Drink some gin and tonics and relax.
Oh...Hey Bob...read this on your own time and get back to work....


9 posted on 04/13/2012 6:06:14 AM PDT by Yorlik803 (better to die on your feet than live on your knees.)
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To: Currentriverrat

OH YEAH>>>>>off today and going away to my buddys trailer. Drink some gin and tonics and relax.
Oh...Hey Bob...read this on your own time and get back to work....


10 posted on 04/13/2012 6:06:32 AM PDT by Yorlik803 (better to die on your feet than live on your knees.)
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To: Lucky9teen

OMG! Top 10???


11 posted on 04/13/2012 6:06:47 AM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: dayglored; Lucky9teen

Argggh! Eleven by 15 seconds! TGIF!!!


12 posted on 04/13/2012 6:08:18 AM PDT by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: Scythian
I’m seeing a lot of hate the rich on this thread...

LOL! Sorry, I'm gonna have to BS on this one.

13 posted on 04/13/2012 6:08:49 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Scythian
How is SPECIFICALLY making fun of Romney and his character, a lot of "hate the rich"?

If you don't like the thread, you can always try another one! This IS the Silliness Thread, after all.


14 posted on 04/13/2012 6:11:05 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

TOP 20! YAY!


15 posted on 04/13/2012 6:16:52 AM PDT by Monkey Face (A day without sunshine is like night.)
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To: Lucky9teen

"Tarmac shoeshiner...just one more new job I created."
16 posted on 04/13/2012 6:32:56 AM PDT by TSgt (The only reason I have one in the chamber at all times, is because it is impossible to have two in.)
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To: Scythian

I agree.
It’s not the RNC who gave us Romney, it’s the voters in the primaries. He was last on my list, but he’s won. I won’t give up my country because I’m mad that my first 3 or 4 choices didn’t win the primary.
He gives millions to many causes.
We just don’t hear all the generous things he and his wife do for others.
Good grief, would people rather have a marxist usurper continue to fundamentally change us into Ameritopia?
We can’t have 4 more years of Hussein. He’ll be totally without restraint in a second term. Term one will seem like nothing in comparison. America will be unrecognizable after a second term of marxism.

I hope he has my Congressman Paul Ryan (WI) on the ticket as VP.

May the Good Lord save us from 4 more years of Hussein the illegal fake president.


17 posted on 04/13/2012 6:46:07 AM PDT by TheConservativeParty ("Liberalism lives in a gated community surrounded by a mote." R.H.Limbaugh 4-3-2012)
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To: TheConservativeParty
“.... it’s the voters in the primaries. ...”

Yeah I don't think all his victories can be attributed to cross over Rat or independent voters. If this is what the majority of the GOP voters what then this is what we get. I am not happy about it! It just shows that people vote for candidates for lots of reasons most of them irrational. My 85 year old long active in Republican politics is for Romney. I am convinced its because he is handsome, she of course denies it, but she can't articulate why she is for him!

18 posted on 04/13/2012 6:54:09 AM PDT by Reily
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To: Lucky9teen
Angela Merkel arrives at the airport in Paris and begins her way through Immigration.

As the agent quizzes her, he asks, "Occupation?"

Angela replies, "No, just visiting for a few days..."

19 posted on 04/13/2012 6:54:42 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walked into a bar; barkeep said "Hi Mitt")
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To: Lucky9teen

Hey...this one goes perfectly with my tagline!

20 posted on 04/13/2012 6:56:52 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walked into a bar; barkeep said "Hi Mitt")
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To: TSgt

Uh... Okay, I’ll bite:

“Tarmac security wand operator...just one more Bush job Obama has saved...”

http://ricochet.com/main-feed/Obama-Continues-His-Stint-as-Bush-2.0-Crickets-Heard-Chirping

Cheers


21 posted on 04/13/2012 6:59:23 AM PDT by DoctorBulldog (Obama Sucks!!!)
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To: ErnBatavia

Hehehehe! Love your tagline!

Cheers


22 posted on 04/13/2012 7:03:16 AM PDT by DoctorBulldog (Obama Sucks!!!)
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To: Reily; Scythian

I remember when CPAC recently endorsed Romney. As I watched the CPAC conference and waited for them to endorse someone else...I was then astounded they placed Romney at the top.

Here in Wisconsin we just had our primary last week.

The 2 most prominent and respected grassroots conservative politicians we have, Congressman Paul Ryan and Senator Ron Johnson, endorsed Romney in the weeks before our primary. These two guys are trusted conservatives. There were many appearances here where Mitt was with Paul Ryan. I really think Romney and Ryan will be the ticket and that will put many minds at ease. I trust Paul Ryan and Ron Johnson.

Not feeling very “silly” today. Will be better able to be silly, after we kick the usurper out of our White House, and all his Alinsky following minions with him.

Heck, my first choice was Sarah Palin! I waited for 3 years for her to announce she was running and I had 500 dollars reserved for her alone. She un-announced right around my birthday last fall. That sucked. I think she got so many death treats from the tolerant liberals that she just didn’t want to put her family through the escalating violence from the left. She would have been a marvelous candidate.

OK, off to work for me! Back tonight.


23 posted on 04/13/2012 7:08:02 AM PDT by TheConservativeParty ("Liberalism lives in a gated community surrounded by a mote." R.H.Limbaugh 4-3-2012)
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To: Reily

typo, left a word out

“....My 85 year old MOTHER long active in Republican politics is for Romney. I am convinced its because he is handsome, she of course denies it, but she can’t articulate why she is for him! ...”


24 posted on 04/13/2012 7:10:48 AM PDT by Reily
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To: Scythian
We have an apparent nominee so, in order to help Obama let's tear him down every chance we get so that the media can say his own party is against him.

... or, maybe, just maybe real conservatives can get busy and make him understand the need to come right. Reagan raised taxes, granted amnesty and signed an abortion bill as governor. He learned, he changed...

25 posted on 04/13/2012 7:11:49 AM PDT by Baynative (Please check this out - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFIcZkEzc8I)
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To: TheConservativeParty

This is the silliness thread. Please do not turn it into another plea to support the loser Romney. Even though you look silly doing it, this is not the sort of entertainment the thread is known to produce.


26 posted on 04/13/2012 7:32:44 AM PDT by Ingtar
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To: ShadowAce
LOL! Sorry, I'm gonna have to BS on this one.

Did you read the 'jokes'? About half of them were the 'out-of-touch, rich guy, wealth envy' meme.

27 posted on 04/13/2012 7:33:30 AM PDT by tnlibertarian (I <3 PEJSWDTDSOPC)
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To: Scythian
I'm beginning to think the FR has turned into the democratic underground site

It only appears that way because both have the goal of defeating Romney and ensuring another 4 years of Obama, with the continued attacks on the American way of life from the Marxist Muslim and his race-baiting administration and justice system.

Wait, I guess that makes you right.

28 posted on 04/13/2012 7:37:18 AM PDT by tnlibertarian (I <3 PEJSWDTDSOPC)
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To: Lucky9teen

29 posted on 04/13/2012 7:49:05 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (The only thing a straight white man gets in this country is the blame for everything.)
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To: TheConservativeParty

>> It’s not the RNC who gave us Romney, it’s the voters in the primaries. <<

BULLSH1+!!!

When a candidate loses a caucus vote by 55-21, but walks away with most of the delegates, don’t blame the voters; blame the process. The RNC rigged the elections in state after state after state: letting Florida hold a winner-take-all election in March; throwing Santorum off the ballot in Virginia; permitting only one slate of candidates to be eligible in Missouri.. to say nothing of Romney racking up enough cash to outfund Santorum 100:1 in Iowa, losing anyway, and then being hailed as victor by the press.

And then the GOP-e clucks that Santorum’s staff of 14 simply wasn’t as competent as Romney’s staff of thousands.


30 posted on 04/13/2012 7:58:18 AM PDT by dangus
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To: Lucky9teen

In honor of the final friday before the due date to file taxes, here is a little something better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b8Ue4mQV7Q

I know that it is a re-make of a Beatles song, but I have to admit that I am an 80’s music geek....


31 posted on 04/13/2012 8:07:54 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Lucky9teen

32 posted on 04/13/2012 8:21:46 AM PDT by Lady4Liberty (Watch Romney endorse Obama's radical liberal agenda: http://youtu.be/i1fThdWagJ4)
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To: Lucky9teen; Yorlik803; Scythian
LOL!

This is now the official TGIF - Revenuer - Prepper thread!

Happy Friday the 13th everybody!

33 posted on 04/13/2012 8:26:54 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: TheConservativeParty

“I think she got so many death treats from the tolerant liberals that she just didn’t want to put her family through the escalating violence from the left.” Either that, or threats against her children. Running for office has to be a family decision. Some folks were angry w/her for “leading them on” after she dropped out. Think of all the problems that would have arisen if she or Todd had to ice someone to protect the family.


34 posted on 04/13/2012 8:38:34 AM PDT by Silentgypsy
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To: Lucky9teen

35 posted on 04/13/2012 8:44:36 AM PDT by sunny48 (America, home of the offended)
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To: tnlibertarian; Scythian

Bullseye!


36 posted on 04/13/2012 8:50:56 AM PDT by fml
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To: fml

Silly!


37 posted on 04/13/2012 8:55:01 AM PDT by Ingtar
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To: Silentgypsy

From GeekCulture

38 posted on 04/13/2012 9:00:20 AM PDT by Ingtar
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To: Lucky9teen
CLICK
39 posted on 04/13/2012 9:05:55 AM PDT by fml
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To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket

Photobucket

40 posted on 04/13/2012 9:07:54 AM PDT by dragonblustar (Those who side with the devil will eventually get burned.)
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To: Scythian; Lucky9teen

I’m beginning to think the FR has turned into the democratic underground site or something akin to moveon.org.
___________________________________
I feel the same way. It’s very weird around here lately. I came to this thread and all I see is Romney stuff. what happened to the ridicule of o bama. My God the DNC can just sit back and let us do all the work for them.


41 posted on 04/13/2012 9:09:06 AM PDT by mojitojoe (American by birth. Southern by the grace of God. Conservative by reason and logic.)
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To: Ingtar

They got that one right!


42 posted on 04/13/2012 9:11:12 AM PDT by Silentgypsy
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To: mojitojoe
My God the DNC can just sit back and let us do all the work for them.

The only difference between the DNC and the RNC is one of degree. They're both on the same path.

43 posted on 04/13/2012 9:12:09 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

In the world of computers and cell phones, It’s been noticed that more and more people who send text messages and e-mails have long forgotten the art of capital letters.

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

“Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”

Is everybody clear on that?
_____

How would you pronounce this child’s name?
“Le-a”
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It’s pronounced “Ledasha”.
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash isn’t silent.”
____

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: “Paint…my…house.”
_____

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl said, “But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale.”

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. “It is physically impossible!” she said.

Undaunted, the little girl said, “Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”

To this, the teacher said, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then YOU ask him!”
_____


44 posted on 04/13/2012 9:13:03 AM PDT by unique1
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To: Scythian

I’m so disheartened today. In the end I guess it won’t matter who we vote for with this crap going on. http://theteapartynetwork.org/2012/04/alert-spanish-company-set-to-count-our-ballots-no-oversight


45 posted on 04/13/2012 9:15:05 AM PDT by sunny48 (America, home of the offended)
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To: Lucky9teen

46 posted on 04/13/2012 9:15:16 AM PDT by red-dawg
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To: Lucky9teen
PhotobucketPhotobucket
47 posted on 04/13/2012 9:16:05 AM PDT by mojitojoe (American by birth. Southern by the grace of God. Conservative by reason and logic.)
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To: ShadowAce

48 posted on 04/13/2012 9:17:51 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: r-q-tek86

Oops. Cannot be displayed.


49 posted on 04/13/2012 9:20:16 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
50 posted on 04/13/2012 9:29:40 AM PDT by mojitojoe (American by birth. Southern by the grace of God. Conservative by reason and logic.)
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