Forest Service considering explosives to get rid of frozen cows in Colorado mountain cabin

WaPo ^ | 4/17/12 | AP

[ColdOne]

DENVER — It may take explosives to dislodge a group of cows that wandered into an old ranger cabin high in the Rocky Mountains, then died and froze solid when they couldn’t get out.

The carcasses were discovered by two Air Force Academy cadets when they snow-shoed up to the cabin in late March. Rangers believe the animals sought shelter during a snowstorm and got stuck and weren’t smart enough to find their way out.

[glorgau]

For some reason this makes me think of the chainsaw and the dead horse in Animal House.

[Gman]

Makes me think of Liberals...

[nixonsnose]

While they wait, leave the door open so the ants, mice and vultures will do their job.

Then they can give themselves bonuses for only spending $2.5 mil on the meetings they held to discuss the problem.

[Clay Moore]

Maybe they can find the guys that blew up the whale for some advise.

[DemforBush]

I was thinking the same thing. Nature will take of these critters soon enough. It may take a while, and will stink for a good long while, but it will get done.

On the other hand, blowing up a frozen cow *is* kind of a cool idea.... ;-)

[Opinionated Blowhard]

I think I saw this on Monty Python once.

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

Fetche la vache!

[familyop]

Yep, there's all of that and more in Calirado.

[commish]

Some stories you can just stop at the headline and not read any furthur because the images you conjur in your mind are usually so much better than the actual story.

[kalee]

It worked so well with dead beached whale. rolls eyes
What can go wrong?

[freedomlover]

What?

[blueunicorn6]

Six dead cows? A hockey game that got out of control.

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH - six dead cows that got some bad drugs.

“Awfully nice of that grizzly bear to show us this nice cabin. I think the storm’s over....let’s go out. Wait. The door’s locked. OH NO! WE’RE TRAPPED IN A GRIZZLY BEAR MEAT LOCKER!”

[JrsyJack]

Why not burn the cabin and have steak...

[ezoeni]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV0LGMGuLN0

[shadeaud]

Contact PETA right away. We want to make sure that the cows don’t suffer any more than they have.
The reason they froze to death by the way was that there was no bull around

[Joe 6-pack]

"Maybe they can find the guys that blew up the whale for some advise."

In early 2000, while I was assigned to a US Army Readiness Group, I was sent to Camp Rilea, OR to train some Oregon National Guard soldiers preparing for a deployment to Bosnia. I met a senior officer, who as a young combat engineer lieutenant had actually been involved in that fiasco.

[Slings and Arrows]

---

[TSgt]

This has been done before with unfortunate results.

The Exploding Whale
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_t44siFyb4

[struggle]

Why not auction off the contents to local butchers.

[Twotone]

One of Dave Barry’s funniest columns ever was about that exploding whale!

[eastforker]

OK, this is open for a lot of ideas!

[Cyber Liberty]

What can possibly go wrong here?

I have long held there is not a problem in the world that cannot be solved by the proper application of explosives.

[The Great RJ]

I seem to remember government officials some years ago using explosives to dispose of a dead whale that had washed up on a beach. The blast had some unintended consequences ...primarily huge chunks of decayed whale being blown as much as a mile away and onto bystanders and news crews. I believe the news video of the exploding whale is still available somewhere on the Internet.

[deport]

Cow Shredding

[ScottinVA]

Forest Service considering explosives to get rid of frozen cows in Colorado mountain cabin

Let me guess.. some of the NOW gang went up for a mountain getaway, ate a couple hogs and a bushel of potatoes for a snack and couldn't fit back out the cabin door to fetch firewood...

[cpa4you]

Your comment about “leaving the door open” for an efficient way to resolve the problem of frozen cows reminds me of a story from the early days of the U. S. space program.

Seems that early on, the Russian and American astronauts discovered that ink pens didn’t work in zero gravity. So, true to form, the U. S. government (NASA) organized one of those big government crash projects, spending billions of dollars and years of effort to successfully design an ink pen that works in space.

Upon hearing of the successful American, one of the Russian astronauts laughed and said something to the effect, “stupid Americans, we just started taking pencils into space!”

I guess that that just proves, yet again, that if you really want to screw something up, ask the government for help.

As an aside. While driving in Colorado, one winter. I’d see all the “Open Range” signs. I think “huh?” Well, about that time I darn near struck a 1,800 frozen-dead steer laying across the road, stiff as a frozen rope. Kinda sets you aback! Poor, poor Ferdinan. On my return trip about a week later the steer was gone. I doubt any rancher paid to have a dead animal hauled off. Nature’s way!

[Eaker]

If explosives are an option then explosives are THE answer.

[Slings and Arrows]

I’ll show them “pink slime”!

[Slings and Arrows]

Usually. But come on, isn’t putting a cow through a woodchipper on your bucket list?

[Eaker]

It got marked off back in ‘08.

Good times ..............

[count-your-change]

This is how Texas bubbaque was invented. Cows froze to death standing up and the herders built fires under the animals to thaw them out. Someone splashed horse liniment on the carcass and the rest is history.

[Abathar]

In one they didn’t even kill the cow first, that was just plain sick.

[DannyTN]

It makes me think of the famous exploding hale video, where they blew up the beached whale carcass and instead of flinging the whale back out to sea it shattered it into hunks of blubber that rained down everywhere.

[SaxxonWoods]

I’m in Colorado but I know that horses that drop dead on outfitting trips in Montana are routinely blown up so Griz won’t be attracted. I’ve seen the spec paper with a drawing and instructions. They use several hundred sticks and when done properly the horse simply disappears.

[Slings and Arrows]

I knew you’d say that.

[Daffynition]

That was my first thought too.

[TexasRepublic]

I read that headline over several times before deciding I was not losing my mind.

[Slings and Arrows]

Oh G-d, I didn’t realize it was a link!

If you’re referring to the first one, I don’t think the cow is alive - just very freshly dead (so rigor mortis hasn’t set in), and is being shaken by the shredder. Some fool added the moos to the soundtrack.

[Daffynition]

Put the word out...and call in the aliens...what this thread needs is a good cow abduction.

[ArrogantBustard]

Here's some real history of the Fisher Space Pen.

[21twelve]

“Then they can give themselves bonuses for only spending $2.5 mil on the meetings they held to discuss the problem.”

Well sure. But then they won’t be able to spend $25 mil on a new Environmental Resource Facility to replace the shack they blew up.

[tophat9000]

COW-BOOM!

[Joe Boucher]

These fools should go to U-tube and type in “operation MOVE, Philadelphia”.

[NormsRevenge]

Cool!

[roamer_1]

I GUARANTEE this is gonna be a “hold mah beer” moment!!! Y not just quarter ‘em with a chainsaw and be on your way?

[BenLurkin]

bttt

[Mr. Lucky]

OK, that was funny.

[RichInOC]

“...”
[BANG!]
“...”

[Dead cows don’t moo.]

[Slings and Arrows]

It’s a sort of koan...