Skip to comments.WOMAN OF MY DREAMS?
Posted on 04/21/2012 12:42:50 AM PDT by mamelukesabre
I am a middle aged single guy with no ex wives and no kids. I've never been married and never knocked up no one. For the last 12 years I've been trying hard to find that perfect someone. You may remember me having threads on this very same topic. I recently had a couple of relationships with young asian girls and posted about it...only to have those threads yanked by the FR mods.
The asian girlfriend I broke up with and posted about is still around but we don't get along that well anymore. I found another asian girl younger than her but she is no longer in the picture. She decided I was too old. She probably had a point since she was only 26. Please see my previous threads about my physical fitness. I have been working my ass off to look 15 years younger than my age and I think I have pulled it off except for baldness.
Tonight I met a new girl and I am already in love. There is just one problem. She is a 20 year old law student from Estonia. She is short and chubby and wears very thick glasses. She is very old for her age if you know what I mean. I spent the evening dancing with and drinking with her friends.
We've already made arrangements for the future. I know I am a complete idiot. I can't help it. I will be working out extra hard now and suffering more from tendonitis than I ever have in my life.
I actually wish I really was making this up.
I can hardly wait for his “finding the perfect car/washing machine/sneakers/shampoo/sweat socks” vanities.
He’s got to have used up his best material by now and the bottom of the barrel is getting closer every time.
Is that a Cartier-Bresson photo?
He of the ‘Decisive Moment’ fame.
Nothing like an officious ass to explore one’s maturity and project their moralities and age construct, for relationships.
If you and she are happy together, enjoy the ride. Just be careful that she isn't after cash more than your studly good looks.
Regarding GOP Poet's "men as they age want to date women as young as they can get--mainly as an ego feed":
Men are designed to be attracted to healthy, fit women in their prime child-bearing years, which happens to be 18 thru 30. Women in this age range can give them children, and are young enough to deal with raising them.
Women are designed to be attracted to men who display competence and fitness, because women who are pregnant or who have young children need somebody to protect them and provide for them. Somewhat older men are acceptable because, in primitive times, a man who has managed to survive into mature adulthood is unlikely to be a complete ditz.
and no doubt you are happily married as well
Had a buddy in LA who made $100M selling auto parts. He was pursued by women up to 40 years younger who looked like movie stars. He eventually was married five times as each divorced him and took half of his estate.
When I last saw him he was down to his last few mil. In his seventies, the 18 y/o waitress was hitting on him. He told me her boobs were too small (looked great to me).
I asked him, “Sandy, have you learned anything?”
“Yeah”, he replied, “If it flies, floats, or f**ks, RENT IT!”
BTW, my first wife, who I met overseas, was Aussie. Cute girl. Turned out, I was her ticket to America. She moved on, and I was relieved because she did not love me.
After her, I wrote a Specification List for a Wife. The top requirement is Character followed by Intelligence. Interviewed hundreds of women to find her. Took five years, but the interviews were kinda fun.
One question I neglected to ask: is she here in the US with permanent residency rights?
OTOH, if she came here from estonia by herself this guy might have finally found something that will work out in spite of himself. Know what I mean?
No matter who you think you are getting involved with, the truth is, at the core, each of us is a defective (read: sinful) person. The outcome is that each relationship starts with promise and hope and, eventually, devolves into a power struggle or rejection of each other.
My personal view is that when the first statistical spike in divorce occurs at about two years it coincides with the recognition that the person you're married to is not the one you had assumed you were married to (i.e.; the one that had their best foot forward in courtship). For many, this is too much and the dump their mates in search of the mythical kind of love our culture worships but never really achieves. Hollywood promotes the idyllic myth of the ‘perfect true love’ to no end and all of us, to one degree or another, are infected with it.
The second spike occurs about year seven. I believe this is the time when many give up on the second phase of marital delusions: the desire to change their mates into the people they want them to be. The desire to control our world via control of others is terribly strong and has its origin in original sin.
The third factor is culture. Today's American culture is all about shaping women into men and men into women. In culture, law, education and every other route of inculcation, the mindless left and secularists are out to create a genderless utopia where God and the created order are distant memories and self-gratification is the ultimate good. Given factor one and two plus the reality of sin being nothing more than rebellion against God, the outcomes of this philosophy are bleak and hellish. Europe is well down this road and the statistics tell the tale of their eventual cultural suicide and the erasure of their genes from the earth.
So, where to go?
Women from Asia or the former Soviet bloc often have a stronger sense of marriage and family than many younger American women who have imbibed too many cultural values coming out of Washington or Hollywood. That can be a basis for good, but there is something more...
In order to have a happy marriage, one must accept the idea that we are failed humans and frail in our will to do love as we innately perceive love to be. That is the “hole in our hearts” that St. Augustine spoke of and it can only be filled by our creator. It also functions as a mirror to see ourselves more clearly and the fulcrum upon which we seek to change our lives and behaviors - particularly how to love one another.
If both marriage partners have made God (Christ the Savior) the center of their lives, it can function at a high level of love and satisfaction. If not, it's a crap shoot. Even marriages of a generation or two back worked because of basic Christian idealism embedded in the culture. Of course, one can find exceptions in all directions but that is not the point of my post; I believe all men and women need to humble themselves before their Creator to receive the wisdom needed to live our our created order.
That's it in a nutshell. FReep me if you have any questions.
Just want to shout a big “AMEN!” to SR’s wisdom here.......
Pray, bro, pray......and love God first.....because He first loved you......
PS: What a crazy vanity thread to have so many replies.....
Wow, we have something in common. My gf is 18 years older than me, I'm 26, she is 44 though she looks like mid 30's. Hotter body than most early 20 something women.
We were best friends for along time, lived next door to each other and worked out with each other for 2 hours every day. We are both gym rats and do triathlons and marathons.
It just happened can't explain it. Have always dated girls my own age before.
My parents no longer talk to me though and told me I;m no longer invited to come home. They can't handle the age difference and the fact we are living together. They are every religious.
Sometimes I think if you want a woman....It’s cheaper to rent one.
Dear Battle Axe
I like all your advice to Marmaduke except “get professional help” The “professional help” is devil influenced psychologists who want to get you to “do what is good for you” at the expense of others. Don’t be fooled, psychology is of the devil
You better not have a greasy gray ponytail and earring unless you also have about $5M. the greasy gray ponytail indicates “I have enough money not to give a rat’s axe”. It is absolutely a turn off to most women.
Hopefully, my point to the guy was to be thankful for what you got. If he’s that desperate, he NEEDS to rent one. They really are plentiful. And that tendonitus can kill you.
I see a divorce in your future unless you change your asinine attitude. “keep all you’re earning” really? cold comfort in the middle of the night and God can take it all away from you with one fell swoop, then you would maybe appreciate your family.
The folks at DU will have a feast with this thread.
George Burns once observed,
“A man is only as old as the woman he feels.”
Prayers for your happiness. God has plans for us that we may not comprehend at the time but can blossom with the fullness of time.
I don't think you'll regret it for a second...
I know a unmarried couple who have been living together for 30+ years. True definition of soul mates. 3 children. When you hear the stories about a spouse dying and then the other spouse dies the next day due to grief, well this will be this couple.
Then you have 50% of marriages ending in divorce and probably another 25% of marriages that are unhappy but don't get divorced.
It's not as clear cut as you want to make it out to be.
Not to go all biblical on you because I’m hardly a role model *but* it would seem a wiser tack for them to show her the compassionate love of Christ and accept her into the family.
Not all ‘shack ups’ are permanent.
I’ve been married to mine for 11 years but we’ve been together for 19.
My parents accepted him and lo and behold, *I* gave into the marriage deal.
After the first marriage, I wanted nothing to do with chains around my neck ever again.
Love makes them change faster.
God bless you both.
I refrained from stating that myself.
Way to go, El Cid....LOL
You don’t know the first thing about me, or my situation. Go judge yourself, not me.
I feel the same way. Except it would be no husband, no kids, no dogs and no birds.
I’m almost 55 and my greatest desire is to be simply left alone. I’m tired of taking care of other people. I’m literally exhausted from it both mentally and physically. I’ve never lived alone in my life but I’d certainly like to try it.
More like mildly digested.
Eleven years ago, I lost my wife, my soul mate of 36 years to the beast of cancer. I sold our house on Cape Cod because I didn’t want to live with all the memories there. I moved to Florida to be near siblings; my kids were all spread out. Two months here, and I met a widow at Match.com. She is six years my junior, and I’ve been happy as a clam ever since. She has been absolutely indispensable to me during my various health issues (I turn 70 soon). I hope I’m making her as happy as she’s making me.
They can't get past the "living in sin" part. Said I am living a immoral lifestyle. They are ultra fundmentalist . It was rammed down my throat since I was a little kid, no premarital sex etc. Very strict upbringing. One reason why I never told them about my GF for 1 1/2 years I knew the shiiite was going to hit the fan. (They live in another state)
We think they went to the extreme thinking I would pick them over her. Not going to happen. Besides lovers we are truly best friends-have been way before we became romantically linked. Have all the same interest in life.
Other couples who know us have told us not to let the age difference get between us and some have said they wish their relationship with their significant other was as strong as ours.
As you can see from my screen name, I’m a woman, married 15 years. And I will say bluntly there is no way you can be in love with someone you just met. Lust, sure. But you know nothing about her. On my first date with the man who’s my husband, it was different from all other first dates, but I was not in love and neither was he. Not then.
And killing yourself working out so you can look 15 years younger? Dude, I say this with kindness and respect, but I have to be blunt——you should grow up. Why is a man your age consumed with looking like a kid? Age catches up, no matter how hard you try to outrun it. Make peace with that. I don’t mean let yourself go-—not at all. Exercise for good health most of all, and to look WELL——not to chase youth that’s already departed.
If you want lasting love, marriage, that kind of thing-—chill out. Let it come, don’t try to force it. You’re old enough that you should know all this stuff already. Stop acting like you’re 15 years younger than you are and take things slow.
That wasn’t intended to be a flame-—just straight talk. Best wishes to you.
A good friend of mine, age 62, found his current wife via an international dating website. She's from the Uraine and they've been married about 12 years now.
When he brought her here, she didn't speak any English other than what she used to communicate with him via emails. She has since learned English, obtained a 4 year college degree in Actuarial Science as well as one in math. About a year and a half ago he moved from here in Michigan to North Carolina where he could find work and subsequently started his own business as a tax accountant. I don't know if his wife has found work as an Actuary yet but she has been making some money offering Russian translation services.....
While living in the Ukraine, her entire family lived in a small apartment and nobody ever owned a vehicle. So one of the things she had to learn here was how to drive. She did get her drivers license but very seldom drives. And she also got her U.S. Citizenship a couple years ago........
Join the Secret Service. See the world.
That is a metaphor for the way things are in this country. Leftist will do everything but leave you alone.
PS: After I got out of the Navy I lived alone for about 3 years. The best 3 years of my life. We are roughly the same age you and I, in the words of Gen Cleburne CSA:
"All we ask is to be left alone,"
This girl is looking for a green card. Yer up sucker.
They sure are picking a funny way to bring back their “prodigal son”.
I hope they ease up on you a bit.
It’s not doing either of you any good, as it stands.
Is there any chance you and the lady could get married?
My situation was the same as yours and though my parents didn’t say it ~before~, my dad did comment “at least you’re not living in sin anymore.” afterwards.
[as though his life were perfect and righteous]
Using Occam’s Chainsaw, I’d suggest that as the simplest solution.
You get tax deductions, too...:)
I will be turning 42 this July. I have never been married and have no kids.
For the past 5 years, I have taken myself OUT of the “dating game” (now a days, it’s more like the “sex games”) and have been celibate.
If I am meant to find the one, He will guide me. Until then, I will remain the happy gal (for the most part) because I no longer live with the pressures or manipulation of men trying to bed me.
If they couldn’t “have me” within 2-3 dates, I was dumped. Never mind all the slapping and “get off of me” I endured while dating. They seemed to have grown a few extra arms at the end of our date! All this free sex and everyone doing everyone has put such a crimp on a once innocent dating ritual.
The NAGS have ruined dating for all girls. If you’re not a slut, then something is wrong with you.
To them, I’m one effed up gal!!! The NAGS can take their misery and stds and shove em you know where.
You just made me change my pants.
“the greasy gray ponytail indicates I have enough money not to give a rats axe.”
Or, “I have a bitchin’ big ass Harley and have survived the road long enough to -earn- that greasy gray ponytail.”
It’s all about perspective....:)
IMO in the last century the war on prostitution has created a problem. The lack of affordable, quality prostitution has made guys go for the gusto more often and earlier due to pent up sex release that would have been otherwise satiated by a professional. Flame on.
You misspelled sluts.
Well, aren’t we generous to give them something actually interesting to discuss, for a change.
[poor little desperate things]
Are you saying that in times past, all men had sex with prostitutes prior to marriage?
Are you saying that modern women have no choice but to become essentially prostitutes now, if they want any sort of dating life at all?
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