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The Pineapple And The Hare: Can You Answer Two Bizarre State Exam Questions?
NPR ^ | 4/20/2012 | EYDER PERALTA

Posted on 04/26/2012 3:59:31 PM PDT by jacquej

A story and two questions on the New York state English exam taken by eighth-graders this week has stumped many — including Jeopardy! star Ken Jennings.

The story — titled The Pineapple and the Hare — was included in a New York Daily News story about the consternation the questions have caused.

(Excerpt) Read more at npr.org ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: education; idiocy; publicschools; statetesting
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Hey, we pay these people a lot of money for the state tests. Can't wait to see what is on the upcoming state math test.

Just so you all know that teachers aren't all at fault. How can they deal with these "performance" exams with questions like this?

1 posted on 04/26/2012 3:59:39 PM PDT by jacquej
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To: jacquej

ginp


2 posted on 04/26/2012 4:03:55 PM PDT by razorback-bert (Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps.)
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To: jacquej

Didn’t Maya Angelou read this at Clinton’s inauguration?


3 posted on 04/26/2012 4:05:27 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Joe 6-pack; All

OK, here is the actual link to the NYS test. All Freepers are now required to answer the questions, and then justify their answers.

I need some humor today, and I know you all are the very best, even though it isn’t Friday. But, we are close, right?


4 posted on 04/26/2012 4:08:17 PM PDT by jacquej
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To: jacquej

oops, 4got the link! So bad.

http://usny.nysed.gov/docs/the-hare-and-the-pineapple.pdf


5 posted on 04/26/2012 4:08:56 PM PDT by jacquej
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To: jacquej
My response is an alcoholic beverage and two dances.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

6 posted on 04/26/2012 4:10:43 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (You only have three billion heartbeats in a lifetime.How many does the government claim as its own?)
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To: jacquej
Funny that the premise of the question is that both the hare and the pineapple speak English.

Whoever wrote the question, judging by the syntax, seems to not have a very good grasp of our language.

7 posted on 04/26/2012 4:12:24 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Joe 6-pack

Yes, but from the point of view of the crow.


8 posted on 04/26/2012 4:13:06 PM PDT by Aevery_Freeman (Typed using <FONT STYLE=SARCASM> unless otherwise noted)
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To: jacquej

Where is here. Being the actual link to the test?


9 posted on 04/26/2012 4:14:36 PM PDT by ThomasThomas ("Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!")
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To: jacquej

Someone’s smoking something.


10 posted on 04/26/2012 4:16:28 PM PDT by bgill
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To: BenLurkin
I agree. The first sentence in the story has a grammatical error.

It should be “like you and I”.

11 posted on 04/26/2012 4:19:27 PM PDT by super7man
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To: jacquej
All Freepers are now required to answer the questions, and then justify their answers.

Answers/Justifications:

1.) A bungee cord/Because of the owl.
2.) See #1.

12 posted on 04/26/2012 4:19:45 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (You mean we have a choice between M.R. and B.O.?)
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To: jacquej

It is a political allegory. The hare is Obama. The other animals are the gullible public. The pineapple is the national debt. The pineapple never really spoke; the hare is a ventriloquist. The hare confused and misdirected the other animals and then took off running. It was never seen again. The other animals (the public) were left with nothing but the debt which they were forced to eat. The End.


13 posted on 04/26/2012 4:19:48 PM PDT by rogue yam
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To: jacquej

The Pineapple is a metaphor for social justice.

The author has all but disowned this piece of writing...because he’d never sell another book to the Education Department if he didn’t.


14 posted on 04/26/2012 4:20:06 PM PDT by Fitzy_888 ("ownership society")
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To: jacquej

Looks like what a night of dreams might yield up after spending the evening reading Aesop’s fables.


15 posted on 04/26/2012 4:21:01 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Sometimes progressives find their scripture in the penumbra of sacred bathroom stall writings (Tzar))
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To: Fitzy_888

Hmmm, SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea.....


16 posted on 04/26/2012 4:21:16 PM PDT by dfwgator (Don't wake up in a roadside ditch. Get rid of Romney.)
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To: jacquej

Good Grief! Do you mean to tell me that my grandchildren have to answer questions like this on the state exam?


17 posted on 04/26/2012 4:21:26 PM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
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To: ThomasThomas

In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.

The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, “Um, hi.” The pineapple could speak English too.

“I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime’s supply of toothpaste!” The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.

The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.

Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.

“AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!” exclaimed the crow.

The moose spoke up.

“Pineapples don’t have sleeves.”

“You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we’re cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let’s sink the pineapple’s intentions, and let’s cheer for the stupid fruit!” the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, “FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!”

A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.

The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race — but it knew it couldn’t walk (let alone run)!

About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.
The animals ate the pineapple.

And the two questions:

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl


18 posted on 04/26/2012 4:21:49 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: jacquej

Q. “When does the narwhal bacon?”
A. “At midnight”

Now you know.


19 posted on 04/26/2012 4:22:58 PM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: jacquej

6. B
7. C
8. D
9. A
10. D
11. C


20 posted on 04/26/2012 4:23:23 PM PDT by tentmaker (vote for John Galt)
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To: jacquej

here are my answers. the pineapple companies took over the hawaian government and forced them to sign with the united states. thus the test is culturally insensitive. the other character is a hare. hares have big ears. omoron has big ears. this is an attempt to insult the president


21 posted on 04/26/2012 4:23:42 PM PDT by bravo whiskey (If the little things really bother you, maybe it's because the big things are going well.)
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To: super7man

Good catch. The form of the sentence looks like it implies the object form of the pronoun, but what was forgotten is the implied “can.”


22 posted on 04/26/2012 4:23:42 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Sometimes progressives find their scripture in the penumbra of sacred bathroom stall writings (Tzar))
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To: cripplecreek
The hare, being magical and all,

Sounds ebonic.

23 posted on 04/26/2012 4:26:58 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Well, if you get “senile”, at least they won’t be scared!


24 posted on 04/26/2012 4:27:25 PM PDT by jacquej
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To: P.O.E.

I don’t know but the brown dog barks at midnight and the chair is still against the wall.


25 posted on 04/26/2012 4:28:13 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: tentmaker

Is that the guitar tab for “You Put The Wine In The Coconut”?

(never mind..it was a pineapple, I flunked.)


26 posted on 04/26/2012 4:29:38 PM PDT by berdie
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To: cripplecreek

Phil DeFranco has his take on it this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mwL_lE7OA8
(starts at 0:55)

Another link to the same story.
http://gawker.com/5904438/new-yorks-children-are-being-judged-on-sensless-questions-with-no-real-answers


27 posted on 04/26/2012 4:38:23 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: jacquej

6) A - switching between convo of Hare/Pineapple and the convo of the animals in the forest observing the H/P convo

7) C - The hare made an honest effort to win by running for two hours. The fruit was dishonest with everyone and so was eliminated from the group.

8) D - an owl is always the wisest animal

9) A and D - the moose and the crow suspected tricks but wanted to be in good with the dude with “special powers”

10) D - The hare would still have run and the moose and crow would be happy they had made a decision to support the hare based on logic.

11) C - no explanation required

Did I pass? ;)


28 posted on 04/26/2012 4:38:38 PM PDT by blueplum
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To: jacquej

It doesn’t look that hard. 6B, 7C, 8?, 9A, 10D, 11C.
8 — which animal spoke the wisest words?

“You aren’t even an animal! You’re a tropical fruit!” the hare said.
“Pineapples don’t have sleeves” an owl said.
“Romney probably expects us to root for Obama then look like fools when it loses,” said a crow.

All of those are pretty wise sayings. Maybe it’s the owl since that’s the moral of the story. The hare’s words are essentially the same but said less diplomatically.


29 posted on 04/26/2012 4:39:25 PM PDT by scrabblehack
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To: afraidfortherepublic

Chinese educators are laughin’ their flat butts off right now!


30 posted on 04/26/2012 4:41:46 PM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: blueplum

What language am you spoken?


31 posted on 04/26/2012 4:49:16 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: jacquej

The questions aren’t hard and the answers are available in the multiple choices. It is about the dumbest g*****n story I’ve ever read.


32 posted on 04/26/2012 4:50:25 PM PDT by 4buttons
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To: cripplecreek

I can’t even set aside my sheer disbelief long enough to create a wise a$$ answer (although, limitless they would be). What can be said other than whiskey....tango....foxtrot?


33 posted on 04/26/2012 4:53:41 PM PDT by RobertClark (Be prepared, be poite, be professional and have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
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To: jacquej

“um hi”, this story is so badly written it must have been penned by a five year old.

Why would an English speaking hare be enticed to run a race just to win a ninja and a lifetime supply of toothpaste? Carrots, yes. Toothpaste? no.

oh, and the pineapple won fair and square. He was at the finish line before the hare was.

The pineapple was eaten because it was defenseless.
The pineapple was the wisest. He won without moving.


34 posted on 04/26/2012 4:55:51 PM PDT by 1_Rain_Drop
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35 posted on 04/26/2012 5:04:32 PM PDT by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: 1_Rain_Drop

If the pineapple had been armed, he would have had a freezer full of wild game.


36 posted on 04/26/2012 5:10:10 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: 1_Rain_Drop

Yes, but he got eaten, therefore making him foolish. And, was it a boy or girl pineapple?


37 posted on 04/26/2012 5:10:46 PM PDT by SuzyQue
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To: jacquej

Heres the “story”...

In the story, a take-off on Aesop’s fable about the tortoise and the hare, a talking pineapple challenges a hare to a race. The other animals wager on the immobile pineapple winning — and ponder whether it’s tricking them.

When the pineapple fails to move and the rabbit wins, the animals dine on the pineapple.

Students were asked two perplexing questions: why did the animals eat the talking fruit, and which animal was wisest?


38 posted on 04/26/2012 5:14:18 PM PDT by Hugin ("Most time a man'll tell you his bad intentions if you listen and let yourself hear"--Open Range)
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To: jacquej
The only correct answer is how many pancakes are on the bunnies head.


39 posted on 04/26/2012 5:15:03 PM PDT by 6SJ7 (Meh.)
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To: jacquej

The pineapple is really Manuel Noriega, and he didn’t run because he’s stuck in US Federal Prison.


40 posted on 04/26/2012 5:15:23 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Hugin

The animals ate the pineapple because they were afraid it was going to spill the beans!


41 posted on 04/26/2012 5:18:28 PM PDT by 1_Rain_Drop
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To: SuzyQue

>>>....”And, was it a boy or girl pineapple?<<<<

Nowadays it’s hard to tell.


42 posted on 04/26/2012 5:21:48 PM PDT by 1_Rain_Drop
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To: jacquej

In the first version of the story, the hare is obviously the wisest because he wins a ninja and a lifetime’s supply of toothpaste and all he has to do is beat an immobile pineapple.

And the animals ate the pineapple because they were waiting around for two hours when the pineapple could have simply forfeited. So they were hungry. Plus, Pineapples are for eating.

In the second version of the story, the hare is still the wisest because he still wins the race and even the owl who’s finally turned up doesn’t display wisdom so much as a keen sense of observation. And all the other animals think the pineapple is trying to trick them and they end up tricking themselves. Which is the opposite of wise. It is foolish.

And the animals eat the pineapple for the same reason I gave in the first version.


43 posted on 04/26/2012 5:25:25 PM PDT by Duke Nukum (I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.)
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To: cripplecreek

The long sobs of the violins of autumn wound my heart with a monotonous langour.


44 posted on 04/26/2012 5:28:38 PM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: Duke Nukum

you know, Duke, I had one of those once, but the wheels fell off.

It was right after my beeper got totally stuned. Might there be a connection, or was it the shower I took?


45 posted on 04/26/2012 5:31:54 PM PDT by jacquej
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To: jacquej

Apparently, the only thing public schools do well these days is teach the anklebiters to sing adoring songs about Øbama.


46 posted on 04/26/2012 5:32:04 PM PDT by ConservaTexan (February 6, 1911)
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To: P.O.E.

the chair is against the wall


47 posted on 04/26/2012 5:33:53 PM PDT by atomic_dog
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To: jacquej

“Kids, this is what happens when you graduate from an Ivy League school with an advanced degree in “Writing” and six figures in loan debt.”


48 posted on 04/26/2012 5:42:05 PM PDT by M1903A1 ("We shed all that is good and virtuous for that which is shoddy and sleazy... and call it progress")
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To: jacquej

I love Daniel Pinkwater’s books. I highly recommend “Young Adult.”


49 posted on 04/26/2012 5:48:30 PM PDT by lastchance ("Nisi credideritis, non intelligetis" St. Augustine)
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To: KarlInOhio

A moose ate me sister?


50 posted on 04/26/2012 5:52:24 PM PDT by Osage Orange (The MSM is the most dangerous entity in the United States of America.)
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