Skip to comments.The Pineapple And The Hare: Can You Answer Two Bizarre State Exam Questions?
Posted on 04/26/2012 3:59:31 PM PDT by jacquej
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Just so you all know that teachers aren't all at fault. How can they deal with these "performance" exams with questions like this?
Didn’t Maya Angelou read this at Clinton’s inauguration?
OK, here is the actual link to the NYS test. All Freepers are now required to answer the questions, and then justify their answers.
I need some humor today, and I know you all are the very best, even though it isn’t Friday. But, we are close, right?
oops, 4got the link! So bad.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
Whoever wrote the question, judging by the syntax, seems to not have a very good grasp of our language.
Yes, but from the point of view of the crow.
Where is here. Being the actual link to the test?
Someone’s smoking something.
It should be “like you and I”.
1.) A bungee cord/Because of the owl.
2.) See #1.
It is a political allegory. The hare is Obama. The other animals are the gullible public. The pineapple is the national debt. The pineapple never really spoke; the hare is a ventriloquist. The hare confused and misdirected the other animals and then took off running. It was never seen again. The other animals (the public) were left with nothing but the debt which they were forced to eat. The End.
The Pineapple is a metaphor for social justice.
The author has all but disowned this piece of writing...because he’d never sell another book to the Education Department if he didn’t.
Looks like what a night of dreams might yield up after spending the evening reading Aesop’s fables.
Hmmm, SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea.....
Good Grief! Do you mean to tell me that my grandchildren have to answer questions like this on the state exam?
In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.
The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, “Um, hi.” The pineapple could speak English too.
“I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime’s supply of toothpaste!” The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.
The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.
Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.
“AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!” exclaimed the crow.
The moose spoke up.
“Pineapples don’t have sleeves.”
“You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we’re cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let’s sink the pineapple’s intentions, and let’s cheer for the stupid fruit!” the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, “FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!”
A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.
The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race but it knew it couldn’t walk (let alone run)!
About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.
The animals ate the pineapple.
And the two questions:
1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to
2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
Q. “When does the narwhal bacon?”
A. “At midnight”
Now you know.
here are my answers. the pineapple companies took over the hawaian government and forced them to sign with the united states. thus the test is culturally insensitive. the other character is a hare. hares have big ears. omoron has big ears. this is an attempt to insult the president
Good catch. The form of the sentence looks like it implies the object form of the pronoun, but what was forgotten is the implied “can.”
Well, if you get “senile”, at least they won’t be scared!
I don’t know but the brown dog barks at midnight and the chair is still against the wall.
Is that the guitar tab for “You Put The Wine In The Coconut”?
(never mind..it was a pineapple, I flunked.)
Phil DeFranco has his take on it this.
(starts at 0:55)
Another link to the same story.
6) A - switching between convo of Hare/Pineapple and the convo of the animals in the forest observing the H/P convo
7) C - The hare made an honest effort to win by running for two hours. The fruit was dishonest with everyone and so was eliminated from the group.
8) D - an owl is always the wisest animal
9) A and D - the moose and the crow suspected tricks but wanted to be in good with the dude with “special powers”
10) D - The hare would still have run and the moose and crow would be happy they had made a decision to support the hare based on logic.
11) C - no explanation required
Did I pass? ;)
It doesn’t look that hard. 6B, 7C, 8?, 9A, 10D, 11C.
8 — which animal spoke the wisest words?
“You aren’t even an animal! You’re a tropical fruit!” the hare said.
“Pineapples don’t have sleeves” an owl said.
“Romney probably expects us to root for Obama then look like fools when it loses,” said a crow.
All of those are pretty wise sayings. Maybe it’s the owl since that’s the moral of the story. The hare’s words are essentially the same but said less diplomatically.
Chinese educators are laughin’ their flat butts off right now!
What language am you spoken?
The questions aren’t hard and the answers are available in the multiple choices. It is about the dumbest g*****n story I’ve ever read.
I can’t even set aside my sheer disbelief long enough to create a wise a$$ answer (although, limitless they would be). What can be said other than whiskey....tango....foxtrot?
“um hi”, this story is so badly written it must have been penned by a five year old.
Why would an English speaking hare be enticed to run a race just to win a ninja and a lifetime supply of toothpaste? Carrots, yes. Toothpaste? no.
oh, and the pineapple won fair and square. He was at the finish line before the hare was.
The pineapple was eaten because it was defenseless.
The pineapple was the wisest. He won without moving.
If the pineapple had been armed, he would have had a freezer full of wild game.
Yes, but he got eaten, therefore making him foolish. And, was it a boy or girl pineapple?
Heres the “story”...
In the story, a take-off on Aesops fable about the tortoise and the hare, a talking pineapple challenges a hare to a race. The other animals wager on the immobile pineapple winning and ponder whether its tricking them.
When the pineapple fails to move and the rabbit wins, the animals dine on the pineapple.
Students were asked two perplexing questions: why did the animals eat the talking fruit, and which animal was wisest?
The pineapple is really Manuel Noriega, and he didn’t run because he’s stuck in US Federal Prison.
The animals ate the pineapple because they were afraid it was going to spill the beans!
>>>....”And, was it a boy or girl pineapple?<<<<
Nowadays it’s hard to tell.
In the first version of the story, the hare is obviously the wisest because he wins a ninja and a lifetime’s supply of toothpaste and all he has to do is beat an immobile pineapple.
And the animals ate the pineapple because they were waiting around for two hours when the pineapple could have simply forfeited. So they were hungry. Plus, Pineapples are for eating.
In the second version of the story, the hare is still the wisest because he still wins the race and even the owl who’s finally turned up doesn’t display wisdom so much as a keen sense of observation. And all the other animals think the pineapple is trying to trick them and they end up tricking themselves. Which is the opposite of wise. It is foolish.
And the animals eat the pineapple for the same reason I gave in the first version.
The long sobs of the violins of autumn wound my heart with a monotonous langour.
you know, Duke, I had one of those once, but the wheels fell off.
It was right after my beeper got totally stuned. Might there be a connection, or was it the shower I took?
Apparently, the only thing public schools do well these days is teach the anklebiters to sing adoring songs about Øbama.
the chair is against the wall
“Kids, this is what happens when you graduate from an Ivy League school with an advanced degree in “Writing” and six figures in loan debt.”
I love Daniel Pinkwater’s books. I highly recommend “Young Adult.”
A moose ate me sister?
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