Thanks for your post. I know that as the “man” of the house I sometimes give mom a bit too much power (and responsibility) - and it does get frustrating for her, and she can sometimes be a bit too rough on the kids for some things. Of course - she thinks I’m too hard on them with regard to other things! But - a good reminder, even as an involved father, I need to step up to the plate more often.
Hope I put the paragraphs in okay places for a bit easier reading:
I sat in the Hollywood, Ca. McDonald’s eating my meal as I watched an apparently single young mom berating her young son several seats next to me. He was young, maybe seven or eight years old; childish look of innocence still.
But I feared that that look would be displaced with one of anger if his mom kept up that badgering diatribe on him; like you do this, you always do that, you are this and that...all negative words that I could see were her projection of anger that she most probably had for the father not being around.
I went up and spoke to her, letting her know that he is not a bad kid and she needs to be more calm for him and that she could find that path at www.copingstrategiescd.com
I know that her reaction, while muted, is the type of defensiveness that often keeps people from speaking up to bullies, wherever they are in our lives. I just remained patient and know that the look of “thank you, you are right” look on the boy’s face made what I did a blessing to him and not forgotten.
I pray that he will be ok, but I know what it is like to be raised by an emotional mom without dad being around to at least modify that anger. The thing is, that many millions of men bail out and leave the rearing of the kids’ souls to mom, but she is set up to, and can hardly help herself, from resenting the father and passing that automatically down to the kids, especially the males.
We, as humans, are already predicated for resentment by the original sin, but for cowardly men to just leave the families, no matter how difficult it is to stick around, is the very reason America is falling badly, not to mention the world.
Yes, the cause of so much anger is the vessels of angry women, but the real FAULT lies with the men as they are the God ordained leaders of the world and families. So how can blame be cast on the feminizing of America, without including the real root reason for that? It is like Adam once again blaming Eve rather than seeing and admitting that it was ultimately his fault as he was the one directly spoken to by God, not his mate.
She really did what she was compelled to do, and it was Adam’s job to say no, or to go along and then God’s plan of redemption would play out. But the blame lies squarely on Adam, or did, just as it does now with men for the women taking too much control of many societies.
So don’t go blaming women for “taking over, and control” in many places of power. Rather, blame the men for opening those doors with your own ego and inflated sexual needs as the true reasons for our failing nation!
Bill Cosby has been a leader in trying to get single mothers to stop beating and berating their little boys. Of course, I don’t know if this family was black - it, of course, happens in white families, too.
Thank you much! I will save it in that format.
Thank you for that link, 21twelve. I ordered a copy for each of my daughters, who are both active military.