Posted on 06/13/2012 7:39:16 AM PDT by BenLurkin
LOS ANGELES (CBS) — The divorce rate is soaring among people in their 50s — and it’s most often the wife who wants out.
Since 1990, the divorce rate has doubled to 1 in 4 among couples over 50 years old, who are also referred to as “empty nesters.”
The trend is being called “Grey Divorce” and is outlined in a study published by Bowling Green State University.
Century City Family Divorce Attorney Marlo Von Oorschot wrote a book on the subject.
“People look at their marriages and say I could live’ til I’m 90 years old and do I wanna stay in this marriage?”
*In addition to longevity, women are sometimes more financially independent than before, there’s less social pressure to stay married and more focus on individual happiness.
A national survey conducted by AARP finds the majority of split ups are being initiated by women.
“Women in their 40s, 50s, 6o’s still feel very youthful and, if you’re in a marriage where your needs aren’t being met,…we have choices today,” Von Oorschot said.
That may be why dating websites catering to that generation are growing in popularity.
But Von Oorschot said while divorce is a difficult decision — at any age — it can come with more risks at a later age.
“The plans this couple had for 20, 30 years to retire at a certain age are derailed,” the attorney said.
Older couples undergoing divorce may be forced to have to start working again and losing health benefits.
But some believe that when a person is no longer in sync with their partner it can be much more rewarding to tend to their own needs
Dead on.
Agreed. I would add however, that the sex drive with women is inherently different. Men have a much more pressing, and urgent need for sex when aroused. Women can much more easily postpone the physical need than men can, and that's true at all stages of life. As Old Retired Army Guy pointed out earlier in the thread more than one man has thrown his life away because he was thinking with an erection.
So being born between 1960 and 1965 (like me) makes one a freak?
a woman with an older man is now the anti-status symbol.
I think a woman marrying a man between 5-20 years older is natural and good for both parties. Just my 2 cents.
Yup. It's true. You're in that awkward stage that can neither claim hippie dippy music or disco, nor grunge. Admit it, you go to TGIFridays for Jack Daniels ribs and you hear Men At Work on the sound system and start doing the white-guy-biting-his-lower-lip head bob dance move. You think Michael J Fox and Downey Jr. are young. You used to, and perhaps still do, crack up at the term "Ayatollah Assahola", You have a Members Only jacket in your closet and you're waiting for it to come back in style.
On the plus side, you first voting experience very well may have been pulling a lever for Ronald Reagan.
Can't say that I can agree. 5 years would be absolutely no problem. Other than the obvious physical attractiveness, I can see no reason why anyone would seriously want someone 20 years younger. Although I'm sure to be deluged with reponses that start with, "My grandmother..." inter-generational dating is IMHO, almost always a mistake. What's tolerable at 30 and 50, is a nightmare at 50 and 70.
I'm 4 years younger than my wife, and we're doing fine after 20+ years. The important thing is that we're of the same time, and can relate to each other being in the same stage of life.
Well most 70 years olds are not in that bad shape, but....I do agree that 60 and 80 might be quite a gap. Even so, at that age the woman may appreciate not getting “bothered” and have plenty of time to go shopping to spend the guy’s $$. :^)
Metal, I claim metal and it's progeny. Admit it, you go to TGIFridays for Jack Daniels ribs and you hear Men At Work on the sound system and start doing the white-guy-biting-his-lower-lip head bob dance move.
Ummm, no, just no.
You think Michael J Fox and Downey Jr. are young.
No, I'm absolutely positive they're middle-aged. I have a 20 year old son. He's young. I know what young looks like.
You used to, and perhaps still do, crack up at the term "Ayatollah Assahola"
No, never cared for that kind of thing in general. Cutesie names for political figures to me just made the speaker/writer look bad, not the political figure. Which is why I use Obama for Obama, Michelle for Michelle, Clinton for Clinton, etc etc.
You have a Members Only jacket in your closet and you're waiting for it to come back in style.
Oh now you really missed the boat on that one. I grew up biker. The old man was a genuine post WWII era biker, who misfired and my mother gave birth to a buttoned up accountant in 1947. He went back to the drawing board, took his time, and in 1963 I accepted the torch.
On the plus side, you first voting experience very well may have been pulling a lever for Ronald Reagan.
Yep, his second term. I had just turned 17 when he won his first.
And 97% of statistics are made up on the spot with no corroborating data.
Sounds healthy to me. My wife regularly goes to medical seminars all over the country without me, and every year I take 2-3 week long motorcycle trip with a friend I’ve had since childhood.
I wouldn’t enjoy the work trips. I’d be bored all day while she listened to or gave presentations on subjects that I barely understand on a layman’s level, and she couldn’t deal with a trip that entails camp grounds and open skies one night and the Marriott the next. You can completely forget 10 hour days in the saddle. That’s just not happening.
Good man!
“”Among college-educated couples, the percentage of divorces initiated by wives is a whopping 90 percent.”
Here in Californicator land, with the moralities of Follywood and the Frisco area coupled with no fault divorce, his 90% stat is probably on the low side.
We can’t think of one divorce started by the guys in the 30+ years of marriage group. All of the women initiated divorces came from women, who attended college at least 2 years or more.
A younger female relative in her 40s, lives in the E Bay Area. She said a common discussion initiated by women in her neighborhood and school and other social circles is how most other women plan to leave their husbands when the last kid is in or finishes college. Most if not all of the women are college grads.
What we have seen and are seeing is 180 degrees from the husband leaving his wife in his late 40’s-to 50’s.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2894790/posts?page=63#63
Tell your buddy, he is lucky only to have paid for her plastic surgery. It could have been a lot more expensive
getting her ready to “find herself”!
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2894790/posts?page=63#63 etting her ready to “find herself”!
I let my wife read this, and she wants to know why you think that women aren't tempted to cheat to with younger, good looking men? She further added that would go double or triple if they're married to someone 20 years older, who she doubts they actually found physically attractive in the first place.
You continue to mock and belittle me and yet the depth of your knowledge on this subject apparently goes no further than the first couple of results from a Google search. I merely noted that the definition of Baby Boomer had changed. I was trying to point out something that I thought was interesting. You have gone on the attack over it.
The person who originally coined the term Baby Boomer was Landon Jones in his book Great Expectations: America and the Baby Boom Generation. Mr. Jones defined defined the term Baby Boom Generation as being from 1943 to 1960. Authors William Strauss and Neil Howe, who are responsible for their generational theory, also define Boomers as those of us born from 1943 to 1960. The initially characterized boomers as those of us who “were too young to have any personal memory of World War II, but old enough to remember the postwar American High.”
I was trying to be polite and accommodating when I mentioned that the definition had changed. The Census Bureau, and the GAO are not the ones who came up with the term Baby Boomer. The authors I mentioned are the one who originally defined the term and popularized it. The next time you decide that you are so much more knowledgeable than everyone else because of your Googling ability why don't you actually try to dig just a little bit deeper. You might actually learn something.
Oh you have no idea....most of these guys chasing me around the desk are Vietnam vets. I take pleasure in rebuffing their crude advances by telling them my dad was a Vietnam vet too!
For some reason that must be a turn off, or they expect Dad to show up and defend my honor LOL!
Same here. I was starting to get paranoid--over the past six or so months, five of my friends, all in long-term marriages, and all but one 50+ have told me that their wives had asked for divorces.
All of them claimed that they never saw it coming.
Which is pretty much what the study cited seems to be saying: since 1990, the rate of divorce among those over 50 has doubled. What's strange is that this age cohort (my own) hasn't really internalized some of the revisions to family law: with my group of friends, the woman has expected to keep the house, and get some form of spousal support, regardless of her own earning potential. Needless to say, it's not working out that way for some of them who do have good jobs, and in particular with some guys who've taken an earnings hit over the past couple of years.
Good point. They might be. But I think (on average) men stray more frequently than women.
No, I have been through this before over the years about the boomer definition, origins, etc.
It bores me to have to deal with posters that want to get off into irrelevant trivia, a little post is one thing, but to get off the subject and deep into useless trivia is a waste of my time.
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