Skip to comments.Why Men and Women Cant be friends (Youtube)
Posted on 06/21/2012 10:45:05 AM PDT by servo1969
Answering the age old question, Young Independent Filmmakers Jesse Budd and Patrick Romero set out to simply prove a point.
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Here is the thing. Any guy who is a guy...knows the inner workings of guys.
That makes it very tough for fathers with cute daughters.
By contrast, I've traveled to Colorado (I live in Texas) to play on the mountains with a woman, and my wife hasn't batted an eye. Noting untowards ever happened. As my wife says, if I was going to be unfaithful and/or deceitful, there are plenty of opportunities in the neighborhood. You're on the honor system whether you're in a hotel room a thousand miles away or in your case abstaining from unchaperoned lunches.
I agree. Most of us who dearly love our wives try not to get into an er...situation...
What nonsense. I have always had more guy friends than gal friends and some of them have been friends for 30 years.
Not all men are pigs and just think of sex.
You're mad. Friendship higher on the scale of intimacy than sex? How is that even remotely possible? I'm a guy, and it makes absolutely no sense to me at all.
I can, and always have. Some of my husband's longest friendships are with women that predate our 24 years together, just as some of my longest friendships with men predated him.
I think you are one of the girls in the video who said “Yes! Men and women can be just friends...”
Ok, now you just sound like Tom Leykis, a man who I can’t even begin to express the contempt I hold towards. But I have daughters, and I doubt any father with daughters doesn’t want to punch him the mouth.
Women are so naive...
Aw Hell...just because I think of sex all the time, does that make me a pig?
THEY don’t think of sex all the time. Er...maybe I don’t want to go there...
No, I’m not - those girls are all at least 30 years younger than I am.
I have always had male friends, and still do.
I guess we’re both naive. I agree with you 100%.
I would carve out an exception: men can be "just friends" with a woman they are not at all sexually attracted to. You can be friends with a much, much older woman, for example.
For a woman you would find sexually attractive to any degree, intimacy will tend to lead to desire, which will lead to frustration if the desire is not reciprocated. Even if you initially don't think the woman is all that "hot", friendly intimacy would lead to increasing sexual interest.
I’ve seen what I posted....
Some percentage of your guy friends are your friends because they think there's a chance that some day you might change your mind about "just friends".
The video appears to take place on a college campus and the interviewees appear to have the shallowness of youth. They are only answering in terms of the world as they experience it.
Expand the world view to include a 20 something man and a 65 year old woman who took an interest in his education. Would he say that they could not just be friends?
How about a 28 year old man and a 55 year old woman in his profession who took an interest in mentoring him?
How about a 55 year old man and a 40 year old nun working on a community project?
The world view of the interviewees is too narrow.
Just an observation of my own: I've uniformly found those who are obsessed with the physical appearance of potential mates fair poorly in the long run. Outside of Hollywood, very few men or women resemble at the 40 the person they were at 20. At 50 or 60, fuggedaboutit. I've seen it play out first hand with shallow spouses of both sexes. Guys who felt like they deserved a centerfold hottie instead of their middle-aged wives, and vain women who just couldn't handle that the HS football captain was now bald and paunchy.
Well, I don’t doubt that. As I get older, it is easier to have female friends. But I do completely understand one thing: I cannot have a female friend who is sexually attractive to me.
I may be happily married, love my wife, etc, but...if I were in close quarters alone with a sexually attractive woman regardless of age...I don’t want to put myself in that situation because, as another poster said, people are human, and an innocent smile at the right time can lead to ruin.
I am not ashamed to say it, I have my antennae up all the time to make sure I don’t get myself into a situation where my poor judgement will get the better of me. All the time.
That is one of the MAIN reasons I am hell bent against women taking combat military roles. People who think that is not a problem need to have their heads examined. I was a young guy once, and I don’t give a hoot how professional some young soldier is, how principled he is and so on, you put him in a dangerous, emotional or boring situation in close quarters with attractive women, it is not going to end platonically.
It just won’t. Men and women are not wired that way. And I LIKE it that we aren’t wired that way, but that is reality.
Did you watch that video? I found it extremely humorous, yet telling. I don’t know how it was cut, but I can bet you could walk into any area with young men and women and get that exact same mix of answers.
Most telling was the question: “If your boyfriend had a beautiful girl as a “friend”, would you mind them going out and having dinner together, alone?
You could see it on the faces of the women. The answer was on their face before they opened their mouths. They know.
And men. Asking men if they minded if their girlfriend went someplace alone to hang out with a guy? Guys know. They may not be pigs, as you say, but they know what goes on inside a man’s head. (it is quite humorous, actually)
That is why I made the comment on a previous post about a father with cute daughters. The boys, even the “good” ones, aren’t knocking on the door to take them out to have a good time with a friend. They are knocking on the door because they are male and she is female, and all that goes along with that for both the “good” boys and the “pigs”.
Being a father in that situation, if you are honest, must be tough.
I would expand that. Those who are obsessed with traits other than the person themselves (appearance, income, status, etc) will fare poorly in the long run. Men or women who marry for the looks or the money will become disillusioned eventually, because looks rarely last, and it is a given that money might not either.
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