Skip to comments.Does a Man Ever Truly Stop Loving His Ex-Wife?
Posted on 07/06/2012 8:04:05 PM PDT by nickcarraway
SANDRA HOWARD asks the question that unsettles every woman whose husband is divorced
Years after their divorce, Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner remained deeply in love. I saw for myself how abiding their mutual affection was when, one evening, more than a decade after they had separated, I joined them for supper.
Frank and Ava, the great crooner and the Hollywood star, were dining quietly in an unassuming New York restaurant and my first husband, jazz pianist Robin Douglas-Home, and I had been invited, too.
Frank and Robin had forged a friendship over a biography he had been writing of Sinatra. I was modelling for the Eileen Ford agency in New York at the time. It was 1962, a full five years after Frank and Ava had divorced when the four of us enjoyed that modest meal together. Yet what endures in my memory is the palpable chemistry that still existed between the singer and the actress.
Although he was married four times, Franks one great love remained Ava, and vice versa. I recall how they sat close together on a bench seat in that restaurant all evening, his arm draped around her shoulder, a proprietorial smile of pride on his face.
She was sinuous and elegant in a classic black dress: Frank once said she had the easy grace of a tigress. Although their marriage had been volatile, their love for each other never faltered. Ava, in fact, never married again. But Frank did: twice more in fact, and I have often wondered whether Avas successor, the waif-like actress Mia Farrow, felt undermined by the potent attraction Ol Blue Eyes felt for her beautiful predecessor.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Nope, never stopped loving her...I just can’t get over all the betrayals. ALL the betrayals.
That’s what I have witnessed, a lot. Sometimes there is really poison but often it is a dark phase of life that would pass if people stayed true to their love or a fling that soon fizzles out but too late.
People get unrealistic expectations and think the grass is greener only to find out it was an illusion. Security comes from family ties and love.
Some people think too much
Wow, sounds like you two were soul mates. This does happen and it happened to you. A man or woman really only has room for one true love at any one time. Men are monogamous however and can have one true love and the others, physical play things. A good man commits and stays with just one woman out of sense of duty, but that’s not instinctive.
I knew an attorney years ago who had been married a few times and told me he was never getting married again; he would just find a bitch he hated every three years and buy her a house...
I don’t want to get too personal, redangus... but does your current wife know of your feelings and the letter? If she does... she must adore you. Not all women would be quite understanding of that particular situation. IMHO
"My first wife died. My second wife ... wouldn't
Having been a second wife twice over, it is a huge relief to me that my present husband, Michael Howard to whom I have been happily wed for 37 years had never before been married.
Mr. Howard is quite a gambler!
For me the answer is no but my case is a little different. My first wife was murdered right before she was to have our first child 45 years ago in Louisville, KY. Right now I am on my fifth marriage and it is more for convenience than anything else. The two songs I relate to most are Bob Seger’s “Against the Wind” and Meatloaf’s “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”
My first wife is the only woman I ever loved or wanted to love. Everything since has just been grating noise. I haven’t seen her in 30 years but we speak and write frequently. She’s my best friend and I can’t imagine life without her.
You could say the same thing about ‘puppy love’ and ‘first love’
Get over it already...lol
(spoken as the second wife :>)... 29 years
“My first wife was murdered right before she was to have our first child 45 years ago in Louisville, KY.”
Gees, Louise. I am so sorry.
The great love of my life was an unconscious choleric and the 24 years we spent together could best be described as a power struggle. But I continue to love her unquestionably. What is sad is how many times a divorce tends to awaken and rectify many character flaws, yet the spouses will not 'take another look' at the 'improved other'. It's all very Jungian don'tchaknow.
“It is often the case that we men are in love with the projection we have made upon a gal who caught our fancy.”
That was my take too. They can continue to love the idealized “vision” of their ex, when reality is very different.
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