Skip to comments.Does a Man Ever Truly Stop Loving His Ex-Wife?
Posted on 07/06/2012 8:04:05 PM PDT by nickcarraway
SANDRA HOWARD asks the question that unsettles every woman whose husband is divorced
Years after their divorce, Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner remained deeply in love. I saw for myself how abiding their mutual affection was when, one evening, more than a decade after they had separated, I joined them for supper.
Frank and Ava, the great crooner and the Hollywood star, were dining quietly in an unassuming New York restaurant and my first husband, jazz pianist Robin Douglas-Home, and I had been invited, too.
Frank and Robin had forged a friendship over a biography he had been writing of Sinatra. I was modelling for the Eileen Ford agency in New York at the time. It was 1962, a full five years after Frank and Ava had divorced when the four of us enjoyed that modest meal together. Yet what endures in my memory is the palpable chemistry that still existed between the singer and the actress.
Although he was married four times, Franks one great love remained Ava, and vice versa. I recall how they sat close together on a bench seat in that restaurant all evening, his arm draped around her shoulder, a proprietorial smile of pride on his face.
She was sinuous and elegant in a classic black dress: Frank once said she had the easy grace of a tigress. Although their marriage had been volatile, their love for each other never faltered. Ava, in fact, never married again. But Frank did: twice more in fact, and I have often wondered whether Avas successor, the waif-like actress Mia Farrow, felt undermined by the potent attraction Ol Blue Eyes felt for her beautiful predecessor.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Or start, in some cases.
If he wants good mental health he does. Hating will sprout a root of bitterness, and a root of bitterness poisons everything in life until it is removed, often through difficult psychoanalysis.
If you can't live without me, then why ain't you dead?
I agree completely.
How interesting. I would ask for more info, but of course I don’t want to pry.
A few years after my divorce, I was led to the Lord by a friend. Shortly after, I took an inventory of myself and confessed my bitterness, realizing that it was based in fear.
I didn't have it in me to forgive because I hated her so much. But I knew it was God's will for me to do exactly that. So I confessed to him that I did not have it in me to forgive, but I acknowledged His will and ask Him to give me that ability. next, I started to pray for her, asking God to bless her. To make a long story short, I found that ability to forgive, and was delivered from the bitterness. In the end, she ended up getting saved too. She now goes to the same church I go to, and the kicker is that she has asked my current wife to be her spiritual mentor.
God is so awesome!
Somebody That I Used to Know
Yes, but it doesn’t mean that I ever want to live with her again. I’m way too old for that kind of aggravation and she hasn’t changed a bit.
It all depends. If the divorce is because the ex was abusive, controlling, and hateful, and the husband left because things had become intolerable and all his efforts to find a less disruptive resolution had failed, then that husband probably has no love at all for the ex.
If the divorce came because the two simply drifted apart, then yeah, there are probably still the embers of feelings there.
Without a doubt.
The question comes down to why women wear white on their wedding day? The answer, of course, is because all kitchen appliances are white. Or at least they used to be. Then something happens. Suddenly all the white appliance just have to be replaced with expensive designer black appliances. Except the only one that ever gets used after that is the microwave oven. And who needs all that grief just to have someone set a timer to 3 minutes to heat a microwave TV dinner for you. Any 20 year old can do that. And you get to thinking. A wife is really like a car. Every once in a while you trade them in for a new model. Presto! You stop loving your first wife. Your only problem becomes explaining to people that your new wife is not your daughter.
Now where exactly is that sarcasm tag for posts supposed to go?
We’re taught (by romance novels, movies, etc.) that man only has one love, which I disagree. I believe man has the capacity to love more than one persons. Now, I’m not saying that they’re of the same intensity of course. History, length, experience,etc. affect the intensity of each love.
After my divorce I felt like Tim Robbins leaving the pipe at Shawshank: I looked like sh!t, I smelled like sh!t but I was willing to swim through another 100 yards of sh!t to get away from where I had been.
My father had always said that I must marry a virgin.
So once my ex and I got closer, I asked her if she was a virgin, and received a strong affirmative.
After becoming engaged, and about six weeks before the big ceremony, I was visiting her for the weekend at her apartment, and she told me the truth about her past, then proceeded to show me Joe’s seaman stain on her bedspread, and here’s where Jim came, and this is Hank’s droppings.
Devastated, I left the next morning telling myself that virginity didn’t really matter. But deep inside I lost all respect for her. Unfortunately two kids later, I finally got fed up with the lazy bitch, and pulled out of the marriage.
That really messed up my relationship with my two young children, my mother and others, but I was free. So I’ve had to live with that, but I’m fortunate that by mind has completely blanked out the five years with the bitch! I truly remember very little, and certainly nothing good.
I know a guy that makes that same argument for real. And don’t forget the part about the sex. He gets a new Filipino wife every few years. He’s happy, the wives are happy (for the first few years, and then again once they have their green cards!).
He said it is a lot like leasing a car - and costs about the same too. The last time I saw him he was getting together with his current wife, his 5 former wives (all Filipino), and his one and only son from his first marriage!
A man may indeed never stop loving his ex but at some point he may have stopped liking her.
Since the article cites the marriage of Ava Gardner to Frank Sinatra, it should be titled,
“Does a man ever stop hitting his ex-wife?”
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