Posted on 07/27/2012 9:34:24 PM PDT by NKP_Vet
The wife left a note on the fridge . . . . . . . .
"It's not working!! I can't take it anymore: I've gone to stay at my mothers!"
I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was still cold . . . . . .
What the hell is she talking about?!!
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And that’s when the fight started...
..................
I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” It warmed
my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
And that’s when the fight started....
......................
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the face
cream..And that’s when the fight started....
....................
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?””
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started....
My wife made me join a bridge club.”
Just a suggestion - save your marriage, everyone and yourself some grief and don’t be partners.
yitbos
Good ones! I should send these to my ex-wife.
You could do good stand up comedy...LOL
NICE !
The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!
Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands!
This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here’s my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine..
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
Forward this information to all of your women friends and those who might need a good laugh..... and men who need a warning.
And, have some wine.
(I got this email from my wife. Burned out my printer making copies of it to keep in the office, truck, workshop, etc.)
With me it's more like, "Good grief, did you clean the basement again?" and "What's with all this yard work?"
She's always trying to make me look bad! That's my complaint.
Thanks for the link. They’re funny!
Volume 1...
for later
Maybe the wasing machine broke...
“Does this dress make my butt look big?”
No, I don’t think it has anything to do with the dress.
"honey, does this dress make me look too fat?"
"no, it doesn't"
"You mean it makes me look just fat enough?"
*****
Here's another one we keep alive:
(with 3rd glass of wine): "Honey, do you think i'm an alcoholic?"
"well, i've heard that if you are asking the question, then maybe you are"
"hmmmm...ok. Honey, do you think i'm fat?"
"shutting up"
***
22 years...going strong. we have fun. :)
The whole city?
Bump
Needs caption”
I miss my ex, but my aim’s improvin!!!
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