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[Vanity] Weird Stuff You Believed Or Did As A Really Young Kid Humor
myself | 9-24-12 | Trailhkr1

Posted on 09/24/2012 11:59:12 AM PDT by trailhkr1

Jeesh I was dumb but I know I am not the only one who thought this stuff. See below. Add yours


TOPICS: Humor
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To: RatBastage

To many adults still believe that fairy tale as well.


101 posted on 09/24/2012 3:06:55 PM PDT by Leep (I'm a Chic-Fil-- A-merican)
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To: Lazamataz
No joke: I saw a whistle with the little ball that spins around, and I thought if I could pee hard enough, I could get my .... balls... to make it whistle, too!

How do you know that's not true? Maybe you just haven't peed hard enough yet.

102 posted on 09/24/2012 3:07:02 PM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: St_Thomas_Aquinas

You were born with the soul of a logician.


103 posted on 09/24/2012 3:12:22 PM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: trailhkr1

I was about 9 or 10 and working on math, science and astronomy in the late 50s. I can still remember the moment when I fully grasped the concept of the infinite universe and it seemed like my mind exploded reaching outward toward the infinite boundry and forever expanding — a frightening but incredible feeling. It is still a haunting memory.


104 posted on 09/24/2012 3:19:33 PM PDT by KC Burke (Plain Conservative opinions and common sense correction for thirteen years.)
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To: Joe 6-pack
Despite these childhood incidents, I've grown extremely fond of my bathroom, and get a lot of quality reading and thinking done there :-)

The psychological term for that is "compensation."

≤}B^)

105 posted on 09/24/2012 3:21:44 PM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: firebrand
I used to wonder if I could possibly be retarded, because logic told me that if I was I’d be too retarded to realize it.

But that was actually proof that you weren't retarded, because if you were, you wouldn't have been able to wonder about it.

But then again, if this insight hadn't occurred to you, maybe you really were retarded.

≤}B^)

106 posted on 09/24/2012 3:30:01 PM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: ohiobushman
When I was a little tyke during the late Stalin Administration, I asked Dad if he was a "Democrap" or a "Neighborhood."

I'm a little fuzzy at this late date on what, if anything, those concepts meant to me at the time.

A while later I heard a new song on the radio by Nat "King" Cole. He stretched out the word "happiness" by holding the "p" consonant for while. I wondered what a hat and a penis had to do with each other.

107 posted on 09/24/2012 3:36:07 PM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: freedomlover

My younger brother used to think that this big car company was named after, and run by an army general.


108 posted on 09/24/2012 3:41:57 PM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: larryholycow

Well, for that matter,

“The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.”

Why wouldn’t you want him?


109 posted on 09/24/2012 3:43:50 PM PDT by Erasmus (Zwischen des Teufels und des tiefen, blauen Meers)
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To: Ingtar
I don't know either but surmised that all a criminal gang would need to do to escape Superman was to get several bags of guns and run while he's ducking them.

Was in my early teens and believed that if we outspent Russia we could win the Cold war.

On the other hand I was with a group a friends and the TV was on with a local preacher rambling about something. We were talking about the future and I said that at least when we grow up we won't have to listen to him anymore. The preacher was Jesse Jackson.

110 posted on 09/24/2012 3:48:13 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult (Liberals make unrealistic demands on reality and reality doesn't oblige them.)
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To: trailhkr1
I thought that, if I could break the glass on the from of the TV, I could be in the place that I was watching.

I thought that life actually occurred in black and white...in the old days.

111 posted on 09/24/2012 3:54:37 PM PDT by Fundamentally Fair (Pictionary at the Rorschach's tonight!)
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To: trailhkr1

When I was 5 I knew Annette Funicello was in love with me (she was always looking right at me)
Later when I was older, Raquel Welch took her place but she was just a poster …

TT


112 posted on 09/24/2012 3:54:39 PM PDT by TexasTransplant (Radical islam is islam. Moderate islam is the Trojan Horse.)
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To: trailhkr1

8 or 9 years old we used to ride mini bikes along the Mississippi River Levee on the West Bank of New Orleans and go down into the woods at the river and explore wrecked barges. So long as we were home by dinner no one knew or cared.

A few years later mom would take me and one of my friend’s to her volunteer work in the French Quarter and so long as we checked in every couple of hours we could wander wherever.

Those days were instrumental in the corruption of my youth!


113 posted on 09/24/2012 3:54:50 PM PDT by Rebelbase (The most transparent administration ever is clear as mud.)
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To: Rebelbase
8 or 9 years old we used to ride mini bikes along the Mississippi River Levee on the West Bank of New Orleans and go down into the woods at the river and explore wrecked barges. So long as we were home by dinner no one knew or cared.

Today if you did that at that age you would end up being molested and then strangled by some pedo.

114 posted on 09/24/2012 4:00:44 PM PDT by trailhkr1
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To: trailhkr1
My friend Matt and I fashioned a T-P in his parents garage, right next to the tanks of gasoline and terpentine, and other flammables. We started a fire in the T-P and lasted until we could not breath due to smoke and fumes in the T-P.

Then we got tired of that and took some green pain and painted their 2 week old Oldsmobile, as high as we could reach, then the outside of the garage, and then the chainlink fence.

Then we started a fire behind a cedar plantar box of our neighbors. This was when my Dad came home from work. We were behind the plantar box and I knew he could not see me. And he wouldn't have except for the smoke plume.

I was not a mean kid....I was busy growing up.

115 posted on 09/24/2012 4:12:12 PM PDT by Texas Songwriter (,)
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To: trailhkr1
My friend Matt and I fashioned a T-P in his parents garage, right next to the tanks of gasoline and terpentine, and other flammables. We started a fire in the T-P and lasted until we could not breath due to smoke and fumes in the T-P.

Then we got tired of that and took some green pain and painted their 2 week old Oldsmobile, as high as we could reach, then the outside of the garage, and then the chainlink fence.

Then we started a fire behind a cedar plantar box of our neighbors. This was when my Dad came home from work. We were behind the plantar box and I knew he could not see me. And he wouldn't have except for the smoke plume.

I was not a mean kid....I was busy growing up.

116 posted on 09/24/2012 4:12:15 PM PDT by Texas Songwriter (,)
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To: trailhkr1

My mother was a young girl while her two brothers were fighting in WWII. One day a letter came addressed to general delivery. My mother got hysterical thinking it was from a General and it meant that they were telling them that her brothers were dead.


117 posted on 09/24/2012 4:14:11 PM PDT by antisocial (Texas SCV - Deo Vindice)
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To: Texas Songwriter

Many years ago I owned a horse named Oz. I brought my three year old nephew to the barn one day to meet the horse and told him that he was Ozzie. The kid ran from stall to stall, pointing at each horse as he said, “And here’s an Ozzie and here’s another Ozzie, and there’s a brown Ozzie and there’s a white Ozzie...”


118 posted on 09/24/2012 4:15:25 PM PDT by freepertoo
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To: freepertoo

My mother has recorded in my baby book that I used to think that fallen leaves were starched. Should I admit that?


119 posted on 09/24/2012 4:17:24 PM PDT by freepertoo
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To: Vendome

Even as a small child, you believed your tag line...What the heck, go for it....


120 posted on 09/24/2012 4:18:51 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: CJ Wolf

My sons, middle son was named Matthew...my daughters little girl called him Mathme..took a long time to get her to understand Matthew didn’t mean Math me (as herself). The other one we still tease her about, after standing for a long time for a ride in Disneyworld, she yelled out.....
This wine is to wong.....When her rabbit died, she said....he’s not dead he’s just wazy...


121 posted on 09/24/2012 4:43:42 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: Ingtar

Good question. Of course, the crooks aren’t very smart either. If the bullets didn’t hurt Superman, it’s doubtful that throwing the gun at him will hurt him, either.


122 posted on 09/24/2012 4:46:47 PM PDT by chimera
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To: cripplecreek

That expression cannot be duplicated using any other means. I have a photograph of my Korean friend, taken under the exact same circumstances and probably during the same era.


123 posted on 09/24/2012 4:51:40 PM PDT by reasonisfaith (Why do you seek the living among the dead? (Luke 24:5))
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To: trailhkr1

I remember watching a version of Gulliver’s Travels - black-and-white with LOTS of static, of course - and wondering if we are all part of a drop of water...


124 posted on 09/24/2012 5:19:46 PM PDT by lyby ("Mathematics is the language with which God has written the universe." ~ Galileo Galilei)
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To: trailhkr1

When I was little bitty, my dad told me if I could sprinkle salt on a birds tail, I could catch it. I chased birds with a salt shaker around the yard for years. It wasn’t until I was much (much, much) older, I found out this was not true and I was so sad. Boohoo.


125 posted on 09/24/2012 6:13:52 PM PDT by SpookBrat
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To: trailhkr1

When I was about 5 my father bought some rabbits to raise for meat. It just happened to be Easter. I woke up on Easter morning and in our kitchen there were about 6 rabbits hopping around and eggs everywhere. This was set up as a surprise for me and my brother.

In my little 5 year old mind the rabbits laid the eggs and I continued to think that rabbits laid eggs until I was about 11 or 12.


126 posted on 09/24/2012 6:30:24 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: Tyrannis

Your post reminded me of getting into a fight with a kid in grade school the day after the movie Wizard of Oz played on the TV.

He kept telling me the witch’s face was green and I told him he was lying.

We didn’t have a color TV.


127 posted on 09/24/2012 6:36:24 PM PDT by Rebelbase (The most transparent administration ever is clear as mud.)
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To: skinndogNN

I remember riding a bike around farming land in Western Colorado when I was 12 singing at the top of my lungs:
Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy. A kid’ll eat ivy to, woudn’t you? The farmers wondered where i came from and how I learned that song.


128 posted on 09/24/2012 11:13:57 PM PDT by tinamina
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To: Tuanedge

When we were kids in the 50s we were in the conservative Baptist churches and we sang the song “Heavenly Sunshine” in Sunday School. My sister couldn’t believe they were singing about her. They were singing “Beverly Sunshine”. She was so disappointed to find out the truth that she started going by her middle name, never to be Beverly again.
After that she said her aspiration was to become Ice Cream the Clown, which is sort of like heavenly sunshine, I think.


129 posted on 09/24/2012 11:38:01 PM PDT by tinamina
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To: freedomlover

My father used to tell us stories about a painter named Michelangelo. He had no money, so he would eat his dinner and then paint a fish on the plate and send it back to the kitchen as not being the way he like it. The kitchen staff would be so amazed that they would not charge him for the dinner. Or he would paint a fly on the plate and call the waiter over. There must have been others—can’t remember them all.

One day the teacher asked in my sister’s class, “Does anyone know who Michelangelo is?” My sister raised her hand: “He’s a friend of my father.”


130 posted on 09/25/2012 12:36:54 AM PDT by firebrand
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To: stylin19a

I just found out last week that the hip-hop song “We Be Jammin’” was NOT Weepy Jammies which never made sense to me. I still hate that damned song.


131 posted on 09/25/2012 1:28:38 AM PDT by Safetgiver ( Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
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To: aruanan

when I was little,I didnt understand why there wasnt color in older movies....The 20 year old barmaid at our local gun club was flipping the remote for about fifteen minutes and looking at the TV with consternation with her tongue sticking out and looking more PO’ed by the second. I was watching some Peter Lorrie movie from the 30’s and asked what was wrong, everything looked good to me. She said “The damned color won’t adjust.”


132 posted on 09/25/2012 1:47:39 AM PDT by Safetgiver ( Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
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To: Sarajevo

I always thought the Robot in “Lost In Space” had a guy inside.....I always thought Flipper was Lassy in a fish suit.


133 posted on 09/25/2012 1:57:25 AM PDT by Safetgiver ( Islam makes barbarism look genteel.)
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To: Safetgiver

This one is kind of silly, but it just goes to show how a kid can get confused if he doesn’t have all the information.

In Antioch, California, between Park Junior High School and my home, there was an unfinished furniture store.

I used to wander through there once or twice a week all year long... starting at furniture with a puzzled look on my face...

They all looked finished to me. I never figured out what piece was missing.


134 posted on 09/25/2012 2:24:04 AM PDT by Ronin (Dumb, dependent and Democrat is no way to go through life - Rep. L. Gohmert, Tex)
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To: Erasmus

I never thought of that, but I think you’re right. Contradictions always bugged the heck out of me. 8-)


135 posted on 09/25/2012 5:44:41 AM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas (Viva Christo Rey!)
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To: Texas Songwriter

—— My friend Matt and I fashioned a T-P in his parents garage, right next to the tanks of gasoline and terpentine, and other flammables. We started a fire in the T-P and lasted until we could not breath due to smoke and fumes in the T-P.

Then we got tired of that and took some green pain and painted their 2 week old Oldsmobile, as high as we could reach, then the outside of the garage, and then the chainlink fence.——

That’s awesome. So... How did you folks react? I’m pretty easy going, but that would have made me crazy.

Related story...

In third grade we received a fire safety lesson. I took it to heart, and ran home to keep our house from burning down. Needless to say, I was bitterly disappointed when I didn’t find a box of oily rags near the furnace, or any open flames.


136 posted on 09/25/2012 6:04:04 AM PDT by St_Thomas_Aquinas (Viva Christo Rey!)
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To: St_Thomas_Aquinas
My dad chose to teach me a lesson. He spanked me. He spoke to me to teach me of the dangers. He knew, however, my curiosity knew no bounds and he did not want to stifle that. Like I said, I was a very busy kid, but never, ever mean or mischevious kid.

My folks kept the 3 of us on a short leash. We worked around the house,...yard, dishes, etc. Once we were old enough they taught us to go out and get a job mowing yards. I was a soda jerk and delivery boy for a pharmacy. I sacked groceries and offloaded railcars on a spur at a warehouse (very unpleasant work).

As I grew up my favorite time of the year was fall. Because it was soon to be deer season. Those few days a year starting at age 13 were my magical times. Out in the woods...it wasn't just the hunting, but all kinds of animals, birds, the color changes, the temperature, and best of all being with my Dad and brother. I remember watching as scores of redtail hawks flew over, migrating up from Mexico. My Dad and I watched and he taught me about such things. We saw an immature bald eagle and 2 ospreys that day. At that time ospreys and bald eagles were just not seen in our area. We would sit on the porch of tiny camphouse as Dad would cook ribeyes, porkback, and pork links. Everything smelled better out in the woods. My imagination was always at work, thinking I would see a huge buck come out of a dark, shadowy area, or just materialize in the fog. It was magical.

I had a great childhood..a really great upbringing.

137 posted on 09/25/2012 7:39:30 AM PDT by Texas Songwriter (,)
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To: trailhkr1

My daughter wanted to know why the wind blows and I told her the trees have gas..

My daughters believed until not too long ago that Men could not pass gas..I told them it was physically impossible.

I want to be sure my daughters are fully knowledgeable in all things..


138 posted on 09/25/2012 7:41:32 AM PDT by Rightly Biased (How do you say Arkanicide in Kenyan?)
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To: chimera

what always troubled me about superman was, he’d stand there and take 6 bullets to the chest and they all bounce off. Then they throw the gun and he ducks.


139 posted on 09/25/2012 4:02:35 PM PDT by stylin19a (Obama -> Ransom "Rance" Stoddard)
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To: stylin19a

great...I should have read a few more posts in...


140 posted on 09/25/2012 4:03:50 PM PDT by stylin19a (Obama -> Ransom "Rance" Stoddard)
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To: tnlibertarian
You know how your pee is more yellow sometimes than others?

Bless you for opening the body function door! Problem is I did not go through this "what we thought" moment as a child.

Granted, I survived the typical Dad stories about cows in the mountains walking around steep hills having two shorter legs on one side so they could stand straight when they walked, and what I now know to be his attempts at "selective" heredity by allowing all five kids to stand up in the back of the truck, or sit on the rails while he drove down the road at unlimited speeds (we all survived)...

...My moment came in Boot Camp in the Corps...At the Chow Hall you had a choice of milk, water or juices...one of which was grape juice. Being one of five kids, when grape juice came into the house it did not last long, so massive and continual amounts of grape juice never entered my body...until then.

For at least the first three weeks of Parris Island I drank nothing but grape juice...it was so good when it shot out of that little machine straw into a glass...I still love good grape juice today, over thirty years later.

Yet one morning there in Boot Camp, trying to do my business in the brief time allowed a young recruit, I remember standing up, turning around to flush and seeing my, um, how to put this...fecal matter was green and immediately thought to myself, "What have I gotten in to...they even camouflage your crap green in the Corps - and went with this for a few hours in my mind...wondering what mad scientists came up with the formula, and how to get in into the recruit's body to hide his poop in the woods (desert warfare wasn't the thing yet in the early 80's...thank goodness, huh?).

I honestly think I made it to rack time that night before I remembered the grape juice and actually laid off of it for a few weeks...

Still wonder about the saltpeter though!!!

141 posted on 09/25/2012 4:57:06 PM PDT by IrishPennant (Are you behind a "Blade of Grass?")
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To: trailhkr1

When I was little, I thought you could actually dig your way all the way through to China. Gave it a couple of good tries in my back yard.


142 posted on 09/25/2012 9:22:49 PM PDT by fidelis (Zonie and USAF Cold Warrior)
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To: Malone LaVeigh

Mairzy doats and dozy doats
And liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?
Yes! Mairzy doats and dozy doats
and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?

Mares eat oats and does eat oats
and little lambs eat ivy,
a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?
If the words sound queer and funny to your ears,
a little bit jumbled and jivey,
Well mares eat oats and does eat oats
and little lambs eat ivy,
a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn’t you?

I haven’t heard that song since I was a kid and I never knew
what it meant until now. You cleared that up for me! I always thought it was a mumbo jumbo British song or something? They talk weird any way!


143 posted on 09/26/2012 5:34:29 AM PDT by Mier (Liberalism always generates the exact opposite of its stated intent!! "Jim Quinn")
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To: trailhkr1
By the time I was a toddler, I had figured that if I cut myself, all my insides would run out. I was terrified of bleeding.

Once my mother set that score straight, there was no stopping me...

144 posted on 09/26/2012 5:39:09 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: trailhkr1
I used to think all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

If you had to wait until you were 15 to know that priests drink, are you sure you're Catholic?

145 posted on 09/26/2012 5:40:10 AM PDT by old and tired
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To: Ditter
When I was just back from my first year of college, my cousin asked me about the rose quartz pebbles which were pretty common in one of the tobacco fields.

I told him those weren't really rocks, those were rabbit eggs.

Little did I realize....

My Aunt called a couple of hours later...when she opened her oven to see why it was on 'low', out poured a huge pile of warm rose quartz pebbles...

My cousin was going to hatch and raise a mess of rabbits!

I never thought he'd believed me, or I would have told him I was just kidding...

146 posted on 09/26/2012 6:14:26 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: old and tired
If you had to wait until you were 15 to know that priests drink, are you sure you're Catholic?

I knew they drank wine but thought whiskey was a no no.

147 posted on 09/26/2012 6:48:30 AM PDT by trailhkr1
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To: Smokin' Joe

LOL! How old was your cousin?

I remember when it dawned on me that rabbits didn’t lay eyes was when I was trying to convince another kid that rabbits really did lay eggs.

It was one of those “ am I really this stupid?” moments!


148 posted on 09/26/2012 7:39:23 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Lazamataz
No joke: I saw a whistle with the little ball that spins around, and I thought if I could pee hard enough, I could get my .... balls... to make it whistle, too! I really thought that.

Wait...that doesn't work for everyone??

149 posted on 09/26/2012 7:54:45 AM PDT by DouglasKC
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To: trailhkr1

One summer when I was six or seven we were going through a very bad heat wave. One day I think it got up to maybe 101 or 102 (in Michigan!)

We had a cat and it was just laying around doing nothing with it’s tongue hanging out. I asked dad what was wrong, he said it’s fine, just overheated. W

The next day same heat, cat acted the same way. So I figured I would help it by putting it in a cool place. The freezer. Being six or seven I forgot about it until the next day.

Sure enough, the cat was frozen stiff. I took it outside because I didn’t want to get in trouble. The neighbor kids saw it. One of them suggested putting gasoline down it’s throat to “start it” because that’s how lawn mowers and cars worked. Being six or seven that sounded like a great idea.

So I poured gas down its throat. After about 30 seconds danged if that cat didn’t loosen up and start running around. Almost in a frenzy. It ran around the yard bounced off the garage, hit a tree and then keeled over.


150 posted on 09/26/2012 8:11:32 AM PDT by DouglasKC
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