Skip to comments.[Vanity] Weird Stuff You Believed Or Did As A Really Young Kid Humor
Posted on 09/24/2012 11:59:12 AM PDT by trailhkr1
Jeesh I was dumb but I know I am not the only one who thought this stuff. See below. Add yours
-I used to think that teenagers were super old and that I'd always be a child.
- I used to pretend I was a scientist and would mix random things I would find around the house into a jar thinking that a new life form would emerge if I just mixed in the right order that no one else had ever done before.
-I remember being shocked and surprised when I saw our Priest use the school bathroom. I must have been 6-7 years old-1st or 2nd grade. I could not fathom that Priest had to go to the bathroom to do dooty like the rest of us. Mind Blown. Later in life went to a wedding reception when I was 15 or so and the Priest we had at the time was downing mixed drinks one after another..Priest are allowed to drink??..Mind Blown once again
4th grade or so could not get the nerve to ask my dad about where babies came from so I asked my uncle. He said babies were just made automatically when a husband and wife kissed 6 times everyday for 9 months straight and that is all it took
.(but that this could only happen if they were both married). Whats sad is I believed this until 7-8th grade..serious.. God, was I naive/sheltered life. My uncle trolled me at a young age. LOL
In grammar school I used to ask myself if life was real or if others were real and I was not or if I was real and others were not.
Sometimes I still wonder about that.
My first ride in an elevator was in a department store. I was a very young kid, and did not know what an elevator was. I thought we were simply going into a little room; and when we emerged, they had quickly changed everything in the store like magic.
Not my own history, but my son’s.
One day I told my pre-school age son that the plumber was coming over. He burst into tears. He didn’t know what a plumber was. All he knew was what his big sister told him: they have Big Claws and Sharp Teeth!
I thought that everything that happened in movies was real and that they must have had to pay actors who got shot dead a lot of money.
I used to think there was a monster under my bed and I would never stand next to my bed after nightfall because I thought a creepy hand would reach out and grab one of my ankles. (When it was time to go to bed, I used to take a running jump.)
I think we all have thought that at one time or another.
I thought there was a little man in the radio, talking.
Also I suspected that, like the Truman show, people were performing a script around me. I thought this was called “life insurance.”
In the Fifties we would’ve done that without the bike.
My dad told us that if we swallowed our gum it would wrap around our heart until it couldn’t pump anymore.
I used to think I could actually fly
if I lift my arms and leg just right ever so slowly, and just lifted my weight a little bit at a time...
I invariable fell over when I reached the top of my tiptoe
But i would try this for like 20 minutes straight feeling as if it was just about to happen
When I was very young, I thought the sun always stayed “up”, and that the reason it got dark at night was because it got really cloudy.
When I was in High School, my little brother (5-6 yrs old) was asked to be in our cousin’s wedding. After the wedding, I told him “Congratulations”; he said “Why?”.
I told him that he was married, and that we sure were going to miss him at home. He denied being married.
I asked him:
Did you hold hands with the flower girl? Yes.
Did you have a ring? Yes
Did you to to see the Pastor in the front of the Church? Yes
Mom and Dad were laughing too hard to stop me ... thinking back, that was pretty mean. But, darn funny.
I really thought that.
I used to think that Democrats stood up for the little guy.
I used to think people who killed my friends and insulted me were the bad guys.
Then I found out I was a white guy.
I used to think Democrats meant well.
“I think we all have thought that at one time or another.”
Yeah, but do you still wonder about sometimes as I do? :-)
Liberals are a disproof of solipsism. I could never create people that stupid in my mind.
When I was a kid I was panicked because the doctor did a test on me to see if I had been watching television when I shouldn't have been. Or at least that's what I thought the TV skin test was for. Turns out it was testing for TB and not TV.
Laz, I think this explains quite a lot.
I remember one kid hoisting another to look in the girls bathroom window. He screamed “Pink toliets...Pink toliets!!!”
Just as the head nun turned the corner,,,LOL
Ha. It’s a common misconception.
Only not when peeing.
"Jesus loves me, this SINO..."
OK, I’ll play, but mine is not that amusing, IMO.
I had a play kitchen set. The sink had a little water tank in the back of it and when you turned a spigot, the water flowed so you could wash the play dishes. I spent an entire day wondering around the outside of the house looking for the tank for our kitchen sink. Finally, Mom asked me what I was doing and when I told her, she laughed and explained the concept of well, pipes and pressure tank in the cellar. I think I was 4 or 5.
I thought Roy Rogers lived in our radio. I was 5 or 6.
I had no concept of sex until 3rd grade when older kids educated me on the playground. I was told by parents that sex was only fun if you were married and you couldn’t have babies unless you were married and I think I believed that until I was 11 or 12.
But all this was a very long time ago...1947-1954. I think we were all this naive and that was just fine.
I used to think ocean waves were actually alive, like animals.
I used to think we were the richest people in our town, but it turns out we were actually kind of just scraping by at times. I guess we were a lot like the George Bailey family - rich in the things that mattered.
I was confused by the song, “I’m just a girl who cain’t say no.”
I’d tell my dad, “She just said it!”
He never responded, thereby adding to the confusion.
So many of the dreams of my youth have been shattered asunder that listing them would be too painful.
Early 60s...I wanted a superman suit from the Sears Christmas catalog so bad. My secret belief was that once I got it, I would be able to fly. Wonder of wonders..I got it for Christmas! I snuck into the bedroom and put it on, climbed onto the bed and prepared to jump off and fly. Just before my jump, my big sister came in and declared, “You don’t think you can actually fly in that thing do you?”
“Uhh...no.” I said.
Thus ended my flying career.
This is the funniest thread her on FR in awhile.
When I was a kid, we had a babysitter named Ruby. One day, Ruby took me to her house and I believed her family was super wealthy b/c their toilet was located in a separate building.
So THAT’S why the dogs would all start barking when I peed!!!!
I remember thinking all dogs were male and all cats were female (based on the gender of our own pets).
During the late 50’s and being a pre-teen, my older brother created a life changing event for me. Living in NYC my brother told me that people who visited Florida were bringing back baby crocs. When the crocs became to big they flushed then down the toilets. He said that the crocs were roaming the sewers of NYC and coming up toilet bowels and attacking unsuspecting people sitting on the bowl. Now in my mid-60’s I still look for them before I sit down on the throne.
I’m sure all guys remember thinking this...when you first heard the term “bj” and thinking a girl actually blowing on your ahem...like I said I grew up in a strict religious/naive home.
Approaching an escalator at the age of 7 my dad told me to be sure and lift my feet otherwise I’d get sliced up like baloney.
I think about it overtime I take an escalator.
I used to tell my kids that too and it took them a while to figure it out as well.
Funny. I remember riding little brothers 3 wheel down the outside stairs.
Leaned back and almost made it all the way down before it came out from under me.
I wonder, sometimes , how I got this far in life?????
bad thing about below was, I was an older teenager .
I always thought the song was “Secret Asian Man”.
I always thought Jimi sang “scuse me while I kiss this guy”
Hell, up until a couple of years ago, I though chocolate liqueur had alcohol in it.
But the worst was, I found out recently, in a thread on FreeRepublic, that wrasslin was fake.
I used to think when it rained it was because God was crying because of something I did.
I remember my Dad lecturing me about my 80s music. He would say you cant understand what they are saying and it doesnt make any sense. And then I reminded him of a song he used to sing to me that was written in the 1940s. The chorus went like this
Mairzy doats and dozy doats
And liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?
Yes! Mairzy doats and dozy doats
and liddle lamzy divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn’t you?
Lyrics that are easily understood and make perfect sense.
Finding a bomb in the bomb shelter was one of the odd moments in my childhood. That is what happens when your dad is in the Navy and the only place they can house him, you, and your seven siblings is in and old house abutting the ammunition depot. Of course, when I was four, I was told that pulling the white switch on the red box summoned Santa Clause. I thought he was escorted by firetrucks at first.
That is going to stick with me all day....
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