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Sloshed: How to Drink Before Noon
New York Magazine ^ | 9/26/12

Posted on 09/26/2012 2:13:09 PM PDT by nickcarraway

One of my favorite things about drinking in the morning is just how purposeful it has to be. At night, you can simply have a drink without need for any particular reason. But between the hours of, say, 5 a.m. and noon, society demands you explain your alcoholic intake. Given those demands, morning drinking can often be the most well-thought-out kind of drinking there is.

Morning drinking didn't always have the stigma that it does now. Farmers traditionally drank hard cider all day long, soldiers once woke with whiskey, city dwellers in the nineteenth century invented entire lines of delightfully named cocktails — flips! fizzes! daisies! — to deal with morning headaches. Alas, things change: The industrial revolution reshaped the ideas of "work" and "productivity"; the temperance movement highlighted the social dangers of daylong drinking; and modern science showed us what booze does to our livers. Long story short: Morning drinking isn't such a regular occurrence anymore.

While downing a shot may have once been a typical way to gird one's loins and face the day, that practice now fundamentally conflicts with modern American ideas about work.

It's probably for the best this way, and it means that when you do drink in the morning, you must give the activity its proper respect and consideration. The days when it's okay to drink before noon are the days when we are specifically not working, and that's the very essence of the Morning Drink. It's a celebration of leisure, a well-deserved day off. And a great excuse to take a nap later that afternoon.

That means that there are really only two situations in which it's socially acceptable to have a Morning Drink: Either you are dealing with a weekend hangover, or it's one of the approved drink-all-day special occasions (you're on vacation, it's the Fourth of July, etc.). And while, yes, you can drink on other mornings and in other circumstances, we'd suggest you stick to these two scenarios. If it's a Wednesday morning and you're slugging down a PBR while you get ready for work, you are in trouble. Unless you're a novelist or something, in which case nobody cares.

Here then, the official Sloshed primer on how, when, and where to maximize your morning-drinking enjoyment.

Scenario 1: You Have a Hangover I realize some people order Bloody Marys when they aren't hung-over, but they are the anomalies here: The Bloody Mary was created for America's bleary-eyed, headache-suffering masses. In fact, it might be one the few drinks, along with perhaps mimosas, that is only okay to drink in daylight hours. For this reason, and because tomato juice pretty much hides the alcohol taste, the Bloody Mary is easily the most common prenoon drink.

The idea of the brunch drink is, of course, the hair-of-the-dog thinking. Without getting into a discussion about the efficacy of this basically unsound technique, we can all agree that it is a super common and long-standing practice. But do not fool yourself: The real value of drinking through a hangover is not that it actually cures anything, only that it gets you sorta drunk again. “The purpose of the morning drink,” Vincent Toscano, a bartender at San Francisco’s Rye told me, “is to get you back to where you were five hours ago.” Five hours' sleep is pretty hard-core, but the sentiment is right: Hair-of-the-dog is the time machine that brings last night into today.

Nutritionists and other doctors could probably find fault with the strategy of drinking as a means of dealing with the side effects of drinking, but whatever. We don’t get many opportunities to drink before lunch, so we may as well take full advantage. To be handled properly, all hangover-curing drinks should be had in a group setting and preferably in a well-lit public space. Remember, you are continuing the fun from last night, but you shouldn’t try and re-create the actual nighttime. Surround yourself with as many of the same people from your festivities and meet them somewhere on a patio. Oh, and stay away from shots.

How to do it better: Bloody Marys, mimosas, and Bellinis are the de facto drinks here, but they're hardly the only options. Take a page from those nineteenth-century city dwellers and consider fizzes and flips. A good hangover drink will both settle your stomach and give you at least a few restorative non-alcohol calories, so something like a mojito (bubbly and herby) or a Tom Collins (the Alka-Seltzer of the cocktail world) wouldn't be a terrible idea.

In fact, the best hangover drink, if you can swing it, is probably the Ramos Gin Fizz, a ridiculously labor- and ingredient-intensive concoction of dry gin, citrus juice, orange blossom water, heavy cream, and an egg white. If you can find a bartender that's willing to make one for you — you've really got to shake the hell out of this drink to make it froth up properly — you are golden.

Scenario 2: It's a Special Occasion These moments occur mostly either on vacation (preferably in tropical settings), during football games, or on summer holidays involving fireworks. Being at an airport or on an airplane also weirdly qualifies, as it slides in on the coattails of the vacation-mentality, and everyone knows time is suspended during layovers. The quality that these seemingly disparate occasions share is that they all occur in spaces outside your everyday life: a hotel patio, a beach, a ship, a stadium parking lot, a park, a pub filled with Irish people — even your own backyard is special when you add coolers and fireworks. The point is that you're in a place where you become separated from the day-to-day, so you needn't pay any attention to other people's clocks. I was once on a cruise ship and watched a friend order a strawberry daiquiri and a plate of French fries at nine in the morning. It was the most stunning and liberating thing I have ever seen.

The drink you order during your special-occasion morning will depend on the details of the activity and will be pretty obvious to anyone who lives in modern-day culture: fruit and rum drinks in the tropics, beer for summer holidays and sports parties, etc. The one exception and fun outlier is the airplane. For reasons probably involving the very common fear of flying, you can drink like a 60-year-old salesman on airplanes and nobody will really care. While I would not advise it in any other situation, ordering multiple double vodkas on the rocks during a 10 a.m. drink service is actually a great idea and at least moderately advisable.

How to do it better: There isn't really an across-the-board quality upgrade that applies here, and honestly, booze quality is rarely as important as booze quantity here. (You don't want to be the snob drinking some 9.5 percent ABV microbrew at 10:15 a.m. if everyone else is drinking Coors.) But one nice touch during these events is to make a pitcher of some refreshing cocktail: The Tom Collins would work of course or, if you've got the time and ambition, any punch concoction. It is so easy to slide into the “beer-filled cooler” here, but that can often be out of habit rather than preference. Who doesn’t love a pitcher of margaritas?

TOPICS: Food; Health/Medicine; Hobbies
KEYWORDS: alcohol; alcoholism; lifestyle
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To: nickcarraway

Clearly none of these “rules” apply to Pac 12 tailgates, because every single one I’ve been to everyone over the age of 18 is completely sloshed by 11am.

Yes, even Utah.

41 posted on 09/26/2012 3:20:43 PM PDT by oldleft
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To: nickcarraway

Pff. Any day I have off, I mix my first vodka tonic at 9:30am, and to hell with whomever doesn’t like it. (I don’t drive.)

42 posted on 09/26/2012 3:20:54 PM PDT by A_perfect_lady
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To: nickcarraway

How to drink before noon? Easy, work overnight.

Here in Pittsburgh it used to be pretty common. Night shift guys kept overnight and early morning bars busy. When they retired the old guys would still gather in those bars. I hung out in a bunch of them. Very few left now...sigh.

43 posted on 09/26/2012 3:31:30 PM PDT by prisoner6 (Right Wing Nuts bolt the Constitution together as the loose screws of the Left fall out!)
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To: nickcarraway

I work midnights, and at first I received some raised eyebrows from store clerks for buying beer at 7AM in the morning, that is until I told them I worked midnights. They were cool with it after that, especially since they’re working the zombie shift also.

44 posted on 09/26/2012 3:41:35 PM PDT by factoryrat (We are the producers, the creators. Grow it, mine it, build it.)
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To: A_perfect_lady

A lady, a vodka, a proper use of ‘whomever’.

Happy hour indeed.

45 posted on 09/26/2012 3:42:10 PM PDT by Fightin Whitey
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To: nickcarraway

Down in New Orleans they called it an Eye Opener....When I was their for vacation a couple of Bloody Mary’s really take the edge off the morning! LOL

46 posted on 09/26/2012 3:42:21 PM PDT by jakerobins
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To: Fightin Whitey

That’s why she’s a perfect lady...

47 posted on 09/26/2012 3:50:24 PM PDT by null and void (Day 1345 of our ObamaVacation from reality - Obama, a queer and present danger)
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To: razorback-bert
BEER the breakfast of champions.

Actually at top universities, it's Adderall

48 posted on 09/26/2012 3:53:17 PM PDT by nascarnation (Defeat Baraq 2012. Deport Baraq 2013)
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To: Nifster

Speaking as a recovering alcoholic myself, drinking in the morning sure ain’t helpful.

If you’re not an alky, drinking all day long will certainly turn you into one.

49 posted on 09/26/2012 3:59:10 PM PDT by traderrob6
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To: massgopguy
BC football games that start at Noon are call for Bloody Mary’s at 10:00. Oh and then there’s the Orangejuice Rockefellers.

I was always partial to a flask of Southern Comfort in the inside pocket of me stadium coat. Back in the days when I would venture to Chestnut Hill to watch the Eagles.

50 posted on 09/26/2012 4:10:14 PM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.)
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To: nickcarraway
Best things after church in the morning? One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

Then football...


51 posted on 09/26/2012 4:21:21 PM PDT by M Kehoe
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To: nickcarraway

A good wake up drink is mexican coffee. A shot of tequillia, a shot of kallua, and some coffee if you want to ruin the taste.

52 posted on 09/26/2012 4:35:14 PM PDT by Sparky21555
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To: jakerobins

Mr Inspectorette and I just got home here on the Left Coast after an 8:00 a.m.flight from Paris that connected in Amsterdam to a 10-hour flight to Portland. Passport lines a mile long both in Amsterdam and at PDX. Then a two and a half hour drive home from PDX.

We just finished the best Bloody Mary we’ve ever had ;-)

53 posted on 09/26/2012 4:45:28 PM PDT by Inspectorette
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To: MichiganCheese

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day.” —Dean Martin

54 posted on 09/26/2012 4:47:23 PM PDT by brewer1516
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts

**** “I was always partial to a flask of Southern Comfort in the inside pocket” *****

Ever tried Yukon Jack?

lil bit more warmth and I really like the name


Beer and Tequila now, haven’t been able to find any Yukon in Texas

55 posted on 09/26/2012 4:58:38 PM PDT by TexasTransplant (Radical islam is islam. Moderate islam is the Trojan Horse.)
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To: windcliff


56 posted on 09/26/2012 5:07:55 PM PDT by stylecouncilor (Bazinga!)
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To: nickcarraway

I pity people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s the best they’re going to feel all day long.”

-W.C. Fields

57 posted on 09/26/2012 5:18:12 PM PDT by Emperor Palpatine ("On the ascent of Olympus, what's a botched bar or two?" -Artur Schnabel)
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To: stylecouncilor

I like buying chocolate candy filled with liquor during the holday season from Trader Joes and take a couple to work.

58 posted on 09/26/2012 5:22:48 PM PDT by windcliff
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To: nickcarraway

I think the best bet are drinks with a purpose and a context, usually small drinks and separated by different events.

For example, at either a continental or a full breakfast, or even brunch you could have an Irish coffee, or a champagne, perhaps some fresh fruit with a drizzle of pomegranate or Chambord liqueur, along with alcohol infused whipped cream, or a nice chilled small glass of Apfelkorn sweet apple schnapps. Screwdrivers and Greyhounds (grapefruit) go well with heavier foods. A nut liqueur, like Amaretto, may be a bit too strong for some tastes, but is a good cap if you ate spicy stuff.

In between breakfast or brunch and lunch, some of the lighter Kahlua coffee cocktails moving towards gin and tonic, hard lemonade, a Manhattan, a little sherry, perhaps a lighter, drier wine. Now would also be good for a Tapas snack plate, with bits of stronger cheeses on small crackers.

Lunch is truly a time for beer. ales, lagers, malt liquors, even stout. Whichever one pushes breakfast and brunch down, so you have more room for supper and dinner.

59 posted on 09/26/2012 5:55:28 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (DIY Bumper Sticker: "THREE TIMES,/ DEMOCRATS/ REJECTED GOD")
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To: nickcarraway
I drink in the morning exactly one day a year - Christmas morning.

What I do is pour myself a coffee mug full of Kahlua or some other high octane beverage like Disaronno amaretto or Francesco hazelnut liqueur and sit in front of the tree sipping it while the family opens presents. I started doing that when my kids were little and waking us up at 4:30 in the morning and now it's become sort of a tradition. Everybody thinks I'm just taking my coffee black!

60 posted on 09/26/2012 6:10:58 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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