Posted on 11/11/2012 12:18:55 PM PST by Badabing Badablonde
I confess. I'm horrid at tipping. I dread that moment when that impersonal folder is placed discreetly at my elbow, and I begin the task of checking the bill and scrutinizing the service. I came in for a meal and I still resent the fact that I can't pay for just my meal.
When I was a kid, tipping was different. I remember watching my dad pay the bill, then as we stood to go he would tuck a few bills under a saucer or a salt shaker. When I asked, he explained that our waitress did a good job, paid extra attention to us, made our meal pleasant, and he wanted her to know he appreciated it. That made an impression on me, because it told me that a job well done had its rewards.
Fast forward to today. We are expected to have our meal selections made in a matter of seconds. Hot plates arrive half way thru the salad, and the bill arrives with a convenient line for a diner to indicate the tip amount. Get us in, get the money, get the next party sat.
Because, you see, a tip today is an entitlement. We are expected to pay extra for the basic service. We are not asked if we appreciate the attention. That is assumed. We are grateful to just get service, and maybe if the service was really bad its acceptable to ditch the tip. Waiters assume we will make up for the deficit in their wages. Because, you know, it's just not fair that they don't make the salary that Joe the Stockbroker makes.
I have my share of tipping horror stories. Like the waiter who waited for me outside the ladies room and demanded to know why his tip was below 20%, forgetting that he got half our orders wrong, wrote nothing down, charged us regular price for happy hour drinks, and we had to hunt him down when we needed him. There was the waitress who believed that because I paid in cash she could help herself to my change.
Spare me the argument that its a poor paying tough job, and just agree with me that some endeavors are just a gamble. Do we sit down at the poker table and blame the other players for hand we are dealt? Do we make the dealer take their cards to give us a better hand? Or do we try to make the best of the hand we are dealt? Do we try to make it up with the next hand?
At least in life, we are not forced to fold. We can play as many hands as we can stand, stay in the game as long as we want.
Anyway, I had my lunch today, the waitress performed her job according to her job description, I made no unreasonable demands, and I quietly added 15% to my bill. But deep down I resent her entitlement attitude that I have to pay for her minimum wage choice.
Preparing for Freeper backlash.........
A waitress’s politics have no place inside the restaraunt.
This has to do with tipping a cabdriver. Last night in Ft. Lauderdale the cab driver got annoyed when I wanted to use a credit card instead of cash. I gave him a $1 tip on a thirty five dollar fare.
Yeah, you’re trying really hard, but you can’t escape the fact that because you know the game so well, you have probably played it.
I’m just stating the facts. You’re the one who’s pocketing the leftovers from your cheapskate tips.
Yes cabbies are tough but I have to say I tend to tip them well. I have had some really good cabbies as I have had waitresses. Like waitresses, if they make the experience pleasant and deal with me on a personal level I will pay a generous tip. Last year I had to leave anchorage unexpectedly because my mother had a stroke. I was exhausted and facing another 8 hour flight to be with her and I guess my stress showed. My cabbie delivered me safely to the airport, shyly said it was obvious to him I was upset and wanted to know if he could pray for me. I will never forget his kindness and I let him know. I wish I could have done more than tip him.
But yeah, they hate credit cards. A lot of cabbies in dc still only accept cash so I never use cards for taxis.
You really need to spare us your lectures given that you pocket the leftovers from your cheapskate tips.
It’s a classic conflict of interest. You want smaller tips so you can pocket more of your per diem.
We have you figured out.
BUT... I think its important to note, that just because we have an attitude against entitlement, does not mean WE also can't have an attitude of generosity.
I'm the biggest opponent of entitlements and entitlement mentality. But I also try to be very generous with others.
If somebody wants to talk their entitlements with me, they are going to have one heck of an ear blistering war on their hands.
BUT...I don't go through life looking for wars with people.
I am a Christian. And I am called by my master to be a blessing to others. So I approach tipping as an opportunity to bless others.
What one chooses to tip is their business. As far as I know, 15% is the standard. 20% as a standard is pushed by the waiters and waitresses.
That being said...For Me...I use 20%, but again thats me.
For 2 reasons.
1-I'm VERY LAZY.
Its much easier to look at a bill, double the bottom line, and take off a zero, than it is to figure 15%
2-Trying to be generous. What is an extra 5%? On a $20 bill, 15%=$3, 20% =$4.
One extra dollar isn't going to hurt me. (and if it is, I can't really afford to dine out.)
Tipping for me is all about my outlook (and in look).
What I mean by in look is, what is my heart condition towards money AND towards others?
Like I said earlier, I am to be a blessing to others. That is my OUTlook.
So, when I'm out, I EXPECT good service and good food. But, in return for those expectations comes a tip. I go out to eat, with the attitude of WANTING to tip someone well. Keep my coffee hot, or my pop full...I want to tip you well. Serve me my food hot, make sure the cook put everything on there and right...I want to tip you well.
When I'm at a table, I don't know what kind of day the waitress has had. Did the last person crab at her? Stiff her her tip? Has she been there long? Has it been unusually busy?
I don't know.
But I WANT to be a blessing. So my goal IS to be a blessing. That means I try to greet her with a large, GENUINE smile. (Smiles can change so much in others). Enthusiasm towards others also lifts others attitude and/or energy.
There come times when dining out that things go wrong. Whats MORE IMPORTANT? That my dining experience is perfect/ Or that I am a blessing to others?
Thats important, because when things DO go wrong, MY attitude then plays an important part in her blessing and my enjoyment of the dining experience. So at this time I am POLITE. When problems arise, almost every waiter/waitress becomes on the defensive. I'm almost 6 foot tall, 280# +. I can be pretty intimidating to a 5'-4", 120# waitress, when things are going good. When things are going bad, I'm sure I COULD be terrifying.
BUT...I'm to be a blessing. That waitress could be somebody's mom, or grandma, or somebody's little sister. I will treat them as such and do whatever I can to remove her fear.
During the meal sugar packets or creamers are opened. Plates and glasses are emptied and what not. I try to corral things together, to stack plates and utensils, maybe throw the packets and creamers on the plates. To make the waitresses job, JUST a little easier. A blessing.
Now, the meal is done. Its time to pay the bill and leave the tip. Dinner for 2 people might be $55. Remember, I'M LAZY. Whats 15% of $55?
20% of $55 barely needs any math skill, its $11.
Of course 15% of $55 is $8.75.
An extra $2.25 isn't going to break me. And like I said before, if it is, I can't really afford to be dining out in the first place.
Now on the flipside. Is an extra $2.25 going to rock that waitresses world? PROBABLY NOT.
But...If more customers did, together that extra could add up and help out.
There can be one more thing at times. Maybe I have an obvious newbie, who is TRYING hard. Whether things are good or bad might be unimportant. Maybe a more experienced waiter or waitress is having a tough, busy day. Maybe they DID something very well. I'll take a minute to stop and tell the manager the great job that person is doing or trying to do. And to tell the manager to TELL the waiter or waitress that.
In the end, its not MY responsibility to pay her bills. Thats HER responsibility. My responsibility is to be a blessing. I can't control what OTHERS give or do. BUT...I can control what I do.
I can tell you this for a fact. I have restaurants that I am relatively frequent to. I SELDOM have a problem with a waiter or waitress I've ever had before, and managers frequently stop by the table or greet me as I'm walking in or out. What problems MIGHT happen, are always taken care of EASILY. My dining experiences are ALMOST ALWAYS pleasurable.
We are coming up to the holiday season. I LOOOOVE the holidays. The thought of Thanksgiving. Not just a great meal, BUT being THANKFUL. And Thanksgiving is the gateway to...CHRISTMAS...YAY!!!
I love Christmas. The feeling of the holiday spirit. But more importantly, the MEANING of the holyday.
The week of Christmas I look forward to dining out. Just a little extra oomph to an already joyus time.
That week I try to always double (or more) my tipping. Like the song says. Its the most wonderful time of the year. My goal is to spread a little of that spirit to others. Christmas for some can be taxing and pressuring.
One time, on the day before Christmas Eve, I had dinner at a local Olive Garden. It was a snowy day and the restaurant was slow. I had an absolutely delightful person for a waitress. She was a student, and when she got off that night, she was catching a train home.
She took very good care of us and was VERY pleasant. When I left, I left $20 on the table for the tip (I doubt the bill was $50). We passed the waitress on the way out and wished her a Merry Christmas. A few moments later as we were walking outside, the waitress came running out to thank us, with a HUGE smile on her face and tears in her eyes. We wished her a Merry Christmas and I think she knew we meant it.
Funny thing...As I tried to bless someone else, I-Was blessed.
I can't control what others think or do. But I can try to influence them. But more importantly, I can control me and my attitude.
When it comes to tipping, I'm afraid that if I held on too tightly, I would lose the joy of the dining experience, and the joy of life.
You choose what you want to tip. Whether 15% or 20% or something in between.
15% is perfectly acceptable and if a waitress has a problem with that, its her problem. Its not YOUR responsibility to make them happy or pay their bills. And IF they aren't making enough money, they need to get another job or get ANOTHER job.
In the end, the relationship between a waitress and customer is a mutual admiration society. We admire their service. They admire our tips. The better they serve us, the better we tip. And the better we tip them, the better they serve us.
I just quit eating out. Screw it. I don’t like their attitude either. People will give you a lecture, but remember, no one FORCED anyone to become a waiter.
Indeed tipping was different when I was a kid; it was 10% and I thought that made great sense.
Religious tithes are unchanged at 10% for thousands of years. As incomes adjust over the years so does the amount received from 10% tithing. If incomes go up so will tithing and if incomes go down so will tithing.
Who dreamed up that tips for average service should increase from 10% to 20 %? A 10% tip should be the average tip for average service. Tips will rise and fall in line with meal prices.
A 10% tip in 1960 for a $10 meal would be $1.00.
A 10% tip in 2010 for a $77 meal would be $7.70.
A 10% tip would always be in line with inflation.
The price of the meal went up 7 times and so did the absolute value of the tip. If that same meal goes up 7 more times in another 50 years the 10% tip will be over $50.
So why did it change? I think the government caused it when they started rigid enforcement of taxing tips.
Most people don’t realize it but Social Security did the same thing. The government raised both the percentage rate and the amount subject to that rate. Calculating the percentage increase of the maximum amount paid to Social Security in 1950 with the maximum amount in 2010, you would discover over a 27,000 % increase. No, that is not a typo.
Waiters and waitresses can pull in an extra $50 to $100 per day if they are good, pleasant, fast, efficient, etc.
I tip according to service and level of customer demand (busy or nearly empty establishment).
If the place has few customers and my order hasn’t even been taken for over 20 minutes because the waiter/waitress is jawboning with another table or staff, or taking a smoke break - then I don’t tip.
If the place is packed, but I still get good and quick service, hot food, correctly cooked as ordered, etc. - then I’m overly generous, 20 to 30 %.
That’s how they learn that their job is ‘SERVICE’, not sloppin’ the hogs, so to speak, lol.
entitlement....they aren't working for me, they are serving me a meal at the behest of their employer...they work for him.
I almost always tip at a restaurant, never tipped my barber (his shop) now tip the gal who cuts my hair....she works in a salon. I never tip my mechanic and in 30 years in the garage business, never recieved a tip. I don't tip lawn care people, cleaners, retail sales people, most of whom work for others. Each occupation has its expectations and a person employed should perform to the best of his ability for his employer and therefore job security.
We try not to go to restaurants that do that either, but more and more are doing it. Hubby likes to put no tip on the payment slip and then tip in cash at the table. That way he thinks the person that waited on us gets the tip. I think it still goes in the share pot if the restaurant has a shared tip policy.
No, I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. We live in a society, and when you go out to a restaurant you are choosing to live within certain confines yourself. There is a social norm that is in play. Your notion that a standard tip is a "blessing" is BS. It's just a social norm and that's how it works.
As a consequence I will tip a maximum of 10% (Credit card or not). It's time for ME to change my wealth redistribution policy to align with a changing America.
I am an excellent Tipper when the tip is earned. Now, I prentrnd Barry is my guy. To the extent the server agrees/disagrees determines whether I tip at all. Not joking...
I thought conservatives understood the notion of social norms. Tipping the waiter is one of the mildest and least demanding of social norms. Can we not even pull this off? Maybe we are doomed.
Maybe you should change your name to A_perfect_ideologue.
That's fine. He can pay them so you won't have to. Enjoy the impact on the menu prices. You mention that you almost always tip at a restaurant. I'm not saying you should tip well or even at all for bad service. To expect a tip for bad service is entitlement. That is certainly not what most people here are saying.
But the convention is that wait staff makes their money on tips. That in itself is incentive for them to do well, though like people on straight commission, it is no guarantee they will make the sale. But this is one convention that probably won't be changing for a while. To ignore that reality is entitlement as well.
Now, I don't stiff waiters. If I do eat out, I tip the 20%, because I know it's expected. But I resent it fiercely, and as a result, I rarely eat out anymore.
No one is “forcing” you to do anything, A_perfect_lady. It’s a social norm, not a government dictate.
But perhaps you are right to stay home. And maybe Badablonde should stay home too, and quite complaining.
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