~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD~

[Lucky9teen]

And then I read this....

On January 1, 400 new federal laws took effect. Meanwhile, state legislatures passed 29,000 bills and resolutions, many of which came into force on the first of the year. Local government added thousands of new laws.

Ignorance is no excuse, so start cramming on all the weird new regulations you have to follow as of Tuesday:

1. In California, it's now unlawful to let a dog pursue a bear or bobcat at any time. Previously, exceptions had been made for hunting. Bad news for dogs, good news for bears and bobcats.

2. The new laws aren't just about banning things! Florida law revised the term "motor vehicle" to exclude swamp buggies, deregulating the primary mode of transportation in that state.

3. In an assault on the civil rights of crazy cat ladies, residents of Wellington, Kansas are now limited to no more than four cats per household. The hope is that restricting ownership will lower the town's burgeoning cat population.

4. Fun news: Illinoisans under 21 can drink alcohol now! Less fun: They have to be enrolled in a culinary program to do so.

5. Film producers in California must have permission from a pediatrician before filming a child under the age of one month. Suddenly, Real Infants of Newport Beach looks less likely to be green-lit.

6. In the category of "how the hell wasn't this illegal already," California prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates.

7. Sex offenders in Illinois are banned from distributing candy on Halloween or playing Santa or the Easter Bunny.

8. No more "popping wheelies" on motorcycles in Illinois, but they can run a red light if the coast is clear.

9. Don't steal grease in North Carolina. Those who steal more than $1,000 worth of grease can be found guilty of a felony. It's the kind of overcompensation that happens when your state doesn't have mineral or gas deposits.

If all this sounds like things you did on New Year's Eve, I hope you had fun. No more such hijinks in 2013.

[ArGee]

More from "The Incredibles." Bob: Weren't you in the news? Some show in, Prayge... Prague?
Edna: Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for *gods*!

[ArGee]

Probably the only stuff from "Life of Brian" worth quoting was from the insurrectionists. Here's my favorite:

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the *point*?
Francis: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

(FWIW: I think we should be using that clip against the LGBQRSTUVWXYZ agenda all the time.)

[ArGee]

OK, I have to admit this bit from "Life of Brian" was funny, too, even if I don't understand anything about Latin grammar.

[Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act]
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
[He twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
Brian: Dative !
[the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
Brian: Er, "Domum" !
Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

[ArGee]

People need to stop blaming violence on my favorite TV shows and movies or I SWEAR I’m gonna kill someone.

[ArGee]

Tell me, do you think images like this one on the Internet make us less sensitive to people's pain?

[ArGee]

I mean, I'd hate it if we actually became so insensitive we thought these things were funny.

[ArGee]

I'm thinking she shouldn't have been driving. But who am I to judge?

[absolootezer0]

of course she shouldn’t be driving. she’s not wearing shoes!

[ArGee]

of course she shouldn’t be driving. she’s not wearing shoes!

I didn't think you needed to wear shoes to drive. I just thought you couldn't be in something slippery like socks.

When I lived in Florida I drove barefoot all the time, especially to and from the beach. It didn't seem safe to have those flip-flops on.

That's not silliness, BTW. That's the truf.

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

OMG LOLOLOLOLOL!

[ArGee]

Ya’. Ya’ gotta be careful ‘bout dat dere OFST, ‘specially readin’ it at der work place. It can make ya’ laugh out loud and get in der trouble. But it is good for what ails ya’.

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

My favorite one is when Mom is explaining to Dash that everyone is “special in some way,” and he replies, “That’s just another way of saying no one is.”

[The Chief]

Posting from my phone’s browser, when I pressed post it didn’t do anything, so I hit it again, and again, and again, then my phone crashed, too much silliness I guess! ;-)

[perfect stranger]

...and a vegan, a hypocrite, and a liberal.

[musicman]

Just a reminder for friends and family: At this time of the year, when the roadblocks come up with great regularity, I would like to share a personal experience with my closest friends about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before; I took a cab home.

Sure enough, I passed a police road block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise as I have never driven a cab before and am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it’s in my garage.....Ho - Ho - Ho!

[Lucky9teen]

[Nailbiter]

Written like a true liberal :)

[absolootezer0]

I don’t know about other states, it is illegal in mi to drive barefoot, or in any shoes without a back.

[Octar]

bump