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Want to Live Rent Free? How Do You Feel About Dressing as a Walrus?
Metro UK ^ | Wednesday 12 Jun 2013

Posted on 06/12/2013 11:02:04 AM PDT by nickcarraway

A Gumtree user is offering one person the chance to live in Brighton, rent free – as long as they agree to dress up as a walrus for two hours every day.

The advert on the classifieds website explains that the unnamed seller has chosen to retire in Brighton after leading a ‘long and interesting life’, some of which was spent just off the coast of Alaska with a walrus called Gregory.

The seller goes on to say that he has constructed a ‘realistic walrus costume’, which should fit ‘people of average proportions’ – because he has never had a friendship that matched up to Gregory.

The average price of a house in Brighton might be above £200,000, however in order to live for free any prospective lodger must be prepared to fully embrace the role of a walrus.

‘Whilst in the costume you must be a walrus – there must be no speaking in a human voice, and any communication must entail making utterances in the voice of a walrus,’ the advert states.

The seller advises that recordings of what a walrus sounds like can be found online (see below).

The lodger will also have to ‘catch and eat the fish and crabs that I will occasionally throw to you whilst you are being the walrus’ in order to qualify for a ‘spacious double room and complete run of the house’.

Naturally, the seller wishes to audition all applicants before agreeing to take a chosen candidate.

Metro accepts no responsibility for any humiliation caused by replying to the advert.


TOPICS: Pets/Animals; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 06/12/2013 11:02:04 AM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Too bad John Lennon already croaked.


2 posted on 06/12/2013 11:03:59 AM PDT by mbarker12474
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To: mbarker12474

I thought he was the egg man?


3 posted on 06/12/2013 11:07:10 AM PDT by brivette
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To: nickcarraway

Some furry would be happy to get this gig. It is furry to the max.


4 posted on 06/12/2013 11:07:20 AM PDT by DBrow
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To: mbarker12474

But I already sprung for the eggman costume...


5 posted on 06/12/2013 11:07:23 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: brivette

"I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."

6 posted on 06/12/2013 11:10:02 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: nickcarraway

“... no weirdos”


7 posted on 06/12/2013 11:21:17 AM PDT by Mr. K (There are lies, damned lies, statistics, and democrat talking points.)
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To: mbarker12474
"The walrus was Paul."


8 posted on 06/12/2013 11:21:51 AM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: brivette

Paul was the walrus.


9 posted on 06/12/2013 11:22:37 AM PDT by Boiler Plate ("Why be difficult, when with just a little more work, you can be impossible" Mom)
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To: nickcarraway

The walrus was Klein.


10 posted on 06/12/2013 11:23:07 AM PDT by GodBlessRonaldReagan (Surf music is the naked truth)
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To: Boiler Plate

Egg Man. Walrus. Both of them doofuses. Especially John.


11 posted on 06/12/2013 11:24:22 AM PDT by mbarker12474
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To: mbarker12474

well, kook ku ka jube...


12 posted on 06/12/2013 11:26:56 AM PDT by brivette
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To: mbarker12474

When I was a kid there was actually a huckster who would come around door-to-door selling eggs and produce from some local farm. He called himself The Egg Man.

Spent my childhood wondering why the Beatles would write a song about him.


13 posted on 06/12/2013 11:29:42 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: nickcarraway

14 posted on 06/12/2013 11:31:44 AM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: nickcarraway; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows; JoeProBono; Daffynition
Egg man and egg lady wanted. Inquire within.


15 posted on 06/12/2013 11:31:48 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: a fool in paradise

16 posted on 06/12/2013 11:36:45 AM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: mbarker12474

“Egg Man. Walrus. Both of them doofuses. Especially John.”

Goo Goo g’Joob all the way to the bank


17 posted on 06/12/2013 11:51:36 AM PDT by Boiler Plate ("Why be difficult, when with just a little more work, you can be impossible" Mom)
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To: nickcarraway

I only got a bucket.

18 posted on 06/12/2013 12:01:45 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: nickcarraway

Coo coo coo choo ....


19 posted on 06/12/2013 12:06:02 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: a fool in paradise

20 posted on 06/12/2013 12:07:10 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein)
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To: Slings and Arrows

21 posted on 06/12/2013 12:19:43 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: Slings and Arrows
In other news, a lonely Carrie Fisher is looking for someone to wear a Jabba the Hut costume around the home.

Applicants must speak fluent Hut and be satisfied snacking on small rodents.

22 posted on 06/12/2013 12:21:54 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: brivette

I am the walrus, and you’re not. goo goo g’joob.


23 posted on 06/12/2013 1:16:32 PM PDT by Veto! (Opinions freely expressed as advice)
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