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36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked
DeadSpin ^ | 7/3/2013 | Will Gordon

Posted on 07/03/2013 10:48:03 AM PDT by mojito

I realize you're going to spend Independence Day happily drinking whatever cold adult beverage you're served, because you're polite and you're an alcoholic. And I trust you'll have a fine old time no matter what you drink. But that doesn't mean America's sh**brews are all the same. The list below breaks down 36 of them, from worst to least-worst.

36. Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on the least reliable of trains. And then there is Keystone, which first appeared to the world in 1989, in Chico, Calif., home of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Keystone separates itself from the rest of the crap pack by augmenting the typical stale/sour flavor profile with notes of brown bananas and green armpits. Keystone is worse than Heineken and murder.

(Excerpt) Read more at deadspin.com ...


TOPICS: Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: beer; happy4th; staythirsty
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One man's opinion.

Bad language warning.

Happy 4th Everyone!

1 posted on 07/03/2013 10:48:03 AM PDT by mojito
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To: mojito
His ranking of Yuengling is downright laughable.


2 posted on 07/03/2013 10:49:39 AM PDT by FlJoePa ("Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good")
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To: mojito

Milwaukee’s Best

Cheap, drinkable


3 posted on 07/03/2013 10:50:42 AM PDT by listenhillary (Courts, law enforcement, roads and national defense should be the extent of government)
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To: mojito; Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows
Can someone post the list (not the explanations which can be obtained on the other side of the link)?


4 posted on 07/03/2013 10:50:48 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: mojito

Save for later read.


5 posted on 07/03/2013 10:50:58 AM PDT by Manic_Episode (Some days...it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps....)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: mojito

Millers HL is fine for a lager and I don’t see it as that much worse than PBR. When I drink a lager I don’t waste money on anything that costs more than one of these two.


7 posted on 07/03/2013 10:53:08 AM PDT by bkepley
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To: FlJoePa

I have no idea what his beef is with Yuengling. The stuff is thoroughly drinkable, and inexpensive. It’s the perfect party beer.


8 posted on 07/03/2013 10:53:15 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: a fool in paradise
The worstest I ever tasted (is it still around?) but what do I know?


9 posted on 07/03/2013 10:53:39 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: mojito

the hotter the weather, the cheaper the beer.


10 posted on 07/03/2013 10:53:44 AM PDT by TurboZamboni (Marx smelled bad & lived with his parents most his life.)
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To: ArrogantBustard

He’s from Boston and doesn’t like his precious Sam Adams being outsold - despite it’s availablity in all 50 states to Yuengling’s 13. That’s my guess.


11 posted on 07/03/2013 10:54:38 AM PDT by FlJoePa ("Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good")
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To: FlJoePa

I doubt Hrbek would want to be mentioned in the same sentence as Weird Al.


12 posted on 07/03/2013 10:55:01 AM PDT by TurboZamboni (Marx smelled bad & lived with his parents most his life.)
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To: mojito

Libs recommending beer. Blech.


13 posted on 07/03/2013 10:55:14 AM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: ArrogantBustard

ArrogantBustard is good beer. but not really cheap.


14 posted on 07/03/2013 10:55:43 AM PDT by TurboZamboni (Marx smelled bad & lived with his parents most his life.)
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To: TurboZamboni

15 posted on 07/03/2013 10:57:13 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: TurboZamboni
the hotter the weather, the cheaper the beer.

Yep. If the thermometer is pushing 90 and it's been well iced-down, I really don't care.


16 posted on 07/03/2013 10:58:22 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: mojito

Use to be a beer called Brew 302.
It was in L.A. and got its water from the L.A. wash. Ugh!


17 posted on 07/03/2013 10:58:24 AM PDT by Joe Boucher ((FUBO) ( Hey Rubio, eat pooh pal))
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To: mojito; a fool in paradise
Taste not bad!

(... design.)

18 posted on 07/03/2013 10:58:44 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: mojito

I guess he never drank any Dixie beer.


19 posted on 07/03/2013 10:58:50 AM PDT by razorback-bert (I'm in shape. Round is a shape isn't it?)
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To: listenhillary

In Vietnam, cold P B R was great.


20 posted on 07/03/2013 10:59:10 AM PDT by laplata (Liberals don't get it. Their minds have been stolen.)
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To: Revolting cat!
Opened a can of this the other day. P! U!!!

Some things do NOT get better with age.

21 posted on 07/03/2013 10:59:30 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (America 2013 - STUCK ON STUPID)
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To: mojito
Why?

Why cheap beer at all?

I realize that most of us have to live within some sort of budget but the price differential between a quality beer and a vomit-inducing piss beer is just not great enough to warrant the choice of a lousy beer.

Also, the alcohol content of the better beers is usually in the 5-6.5% range so you can get the same kick drinking three quality beers as you would over five cans of swill.

Your body will thank you.

Enough said and have a great Independence Day.

22 posted on 07/03/2013 11:00:43 AM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: FlJoePa

His Sam Adams just ran a TV add where they dropped “by their creator” from the Declaration of Independence.

The company said they wanted to be PC.


23 posted on 07/03/2013 11:01:15 AM PDT by PeteB570 ( Islam is the sea in which the Terrorist Shark swims. The deeper the sea the larger the shark.)
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To: a fool in paradise

Stegmaier Beer is by far the worst beer ever to be created. My bet is they co-packed Billy Beer.


24 posted on 07/03/2013 11:01:37 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (The reason we own guns is to protect ourselves from those wanting to take our guns from us.)
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To: mojito

Interesting. If the “new” classic Schlitz is indeed the original formula it was once one of Pudweiser’s strongest competitors. Of course some accountant had to screw the pooch and get the recipe changed. That was in the early 70’s.


25 posted on 07/03/2013 11:02:24 AM PDT by meatloaf (3)
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To: PeteB570

Dump Sam Adams in to Boston Harbor!


26 posted on 07/03/2013 11:02:32 AM PDT by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: a fool in paradise

Oh swell, his #1 pick is Grain Belt, which is not available anyplace within a 700 mile radius of where I sit.


27 posted on 07/03/2013 11:02:43 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: meatloaf

Ballantine Ale is making a big comeback.


28 posted on 07/03/2013 11:03:24 AM PDT by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: mojito

No Old Style? What kind of cheap beer list is this?


29 posted on 07/03/2013 11:03:29 AM PDT by Eepsy
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To: TurboZamboni

HEY! You should tip your hat to Joe for that one.

Did he ever pay off that bet he lost to Reuvers and buy a 6 pack of Bud Light Lime?


30 posted on 07/03/2013 11:03:30 AM PDT by DManA
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To: TurboZamboni

Yup. Normally I prefer craft brews, but right now we’re in the midst of a heatwave. So I’ve been drinking Bud.


31 posted on 07/03/2013 11:03:45 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (The average American voter is an idiot. Which is how the Dems want it.)
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To: mojito

This guy is a moron.


32 posted on 07/03/2013 11:04:07 AM PDT by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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To: TurboZamboni
the hotter the weather, the cheaper the beer

A philosophy of beer to which I can heartily concur.

33 posted on 07/03/2013 11:04:41 AM PDT by mojito (Zero, our Nero.)
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To: bkepley

I have always liked Miller Genuine Draft. Genny Cream Ale was the first beer I ever had. At fourteen I was not choosey, plus it was warm. Drank a lot of Utica Club in college in central NY.

Today I probably buy Dos Equis Amber more than anything else.


34 posted on 07/03/2013 11:05:00 AM PDT by woodbutcher1963
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To: FlJoePa

Agree. Way to high.


35 posted on 07/03/2013 11:05:40 AM PDT by Wyatt's Torch (I can explain it to you. I can't understand it for you.)
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To: mojito

He has Miller light at #6? Seriously?

This guy doesn’t know what the heck he’s talking about. Miller light tastes like dung.


36 posted on 07/03/2013 11:05:44 AM PDT by Bullish (Psalm 46)
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To: mojito

The cheapest okay beer that you can get has to be Walgreen’s house brand called Big Flats 1901. Seriously, $3 for a six pack, cans only. Absolutely nothing special or unique about it. It is generic beer, with minimum, not maximum, hops.

4.50% ABV, and non-threatening when it is really hot out.


37 posted on 07/03/2013 11:07:27 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
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To: bkepley

Agreed, but I actually prefer PBR in the bottle.
Sadly it just is not available here.
So it’s MHL in the bottle for me


38 posted on 07/03/2013 11:07:38 AM PDT by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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To: EQAndyBuzz
Stegmaier Beer is by far the worst beer ever to be created.
But (waaaaay) back in the day, you could get a case on sale for $2. Priorities, ya' know.
39 posted on 07/03/2013 11:07:52 AM PDT by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: mojito

40 posted on 07/03/2013 11:08:31 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (The Civil Servants Are No Longer Servants...Or Civil.)
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To: meatloaf
Of course some accountant had to screw the pooch and get the recipe changed. That was in the early 70’s.

Yeah, I think they did the same with Rolling Rock.
First time I tried RR it was a local beer in 7 oz bottles. Had a really unique flavor, strong too. Took about half a bottle to get used to the flavor. Then Yummmmm.
Now it's just another beer.

41 posted on 07/03/2013 11:09:04 AM PDT by Vinnie
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To: FlJoePa
25. Yuengling. Why are people so into Yuengling? It's quite popular among the Pennsylvania ex-pat community, which is odd given that the beer sucks and Pennsylvanians don't strike me as an excessively prideful or self-important lot.

This person is an idiot and it is not worth the time to read it. Yuengling is on of America's best beers.

42 posted on 07/03/2013 11:09:34 AM PDT by bmwcyle (People who do not study history are destine to believe really ignorant statements.)
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To: Revolting cat!

Piel = Male organ in the Dutch language.

I personally prefer Heineken.


43 posted on 07/03/2013 11:11:01 AM PDT by 353FMG ( I do not say whether I am serious or sarcastic -- I respect FReepers too much.)
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To: mojito

44 posted on 07/03/2013 11:11:32 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (The Civil Servants Are No Longer Servants...Or Civil.)
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To: mojito

Stroh’s has never been the same since the company went out of business. Some brewing company bought the name, but from the taste of it, it is no longer “fire brewed”. A true shame.

Have some cold Narragansetts waiting for me at home.......


45 posted on 07/03/2013 11:11:43 AM PDT by DickBrannigan (When did logic become reversed, and right became wrong, and wrong became right?)
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To: mojito

Stay thirsty my friends.


46 posted on 07/03/2013 11:12:06 AM PDT by Patrick1 (“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”)
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To: mojito

Probably a child too young to remember Lucky Lager in its glory days. 11-oz stubbies with a puzzle in the cap. It was what I could afford.


47 posted on 07/03/2013 11:12:57 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: mojito

I used to drink Hamms. That bear was cool.


48 posted on 07/03/2013 11:13:06 AM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (President Obama; The Slumlord of the Rentseekers)
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To: Gay State Conservative
"The Foam Is On The Bottom"


49 posted on 07/03/2013 11:13:07 AM PDT by mylife (Ted Cruz understands the law, and he does not fear the unlawful.)
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To: SamAdams76
I realize that most of us have to live within some sort of budget but the price differential between a quality beer and a vomit-inducing piss beer is just not great enough to warrant the choice of a lousy beer.

That.

Life is too short to drink cheap beer. Give me a Trappist Ale (imported from Belgium, not the domestic) any day.

I gave one of my Sergeants a large bottle of Chimay for Christmas with instructions on how to chill it for no more than one hour before drinking. A bottle of this size holds about two glasses.

He came to work a couple days later and told me that he drank a glass, really enjoyed it and decided to drink the rest of the bottle. He went on to tell me that his wife found him asleep on the couch with an empty beer glass in his hand. He decided that from that day forward he was a Chimay man.

50 posted on 07/03/2013 11:13:58 AM PDT by Gamecock ("Ultimately, Jesus died to save us from the wrath of God." —R.C. Sproul)
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