Posted on 10/31/2013 8:09:10 AM PDT by MrChips
In a move certain to delight most of official Washington, D.C., it has been decided to change the name of the Washington Redskins football franchise to the Washington Reds. President Obama, himself, voiced his approval of the decision, as did Harry Reid, who was practically giddy upon hearing the news. The stadium will be painted red, in keeping with the new name, and its own name will be changed to Red Stadium. All players who play for the Reds, as well as all Red staff, Red cheerleaders, and Red coaches, will be asked to pay a 60% surtax on their exorbitant salaries and to divest of their pension plans entirely in order to share their wealth more equitably with all of the people of the District of Columbia. Any profit-sharing from games played by the Reds will be placed into the general coffers at Treasury Department and administered by Jack Lew.
Ticket prices are expected to rise, to cover the cost of painting the stadium red, but also because all seating in the stadium is expected to go for the same price in an effort to ensure equality and fairness, although one section of free seats on the 50-yard line is being reserved for members of Congress and select people who work for the Obama administration. There will, of course, be a presidential box with red seats. An account of the new pricing policy, some have expressed concern that the stadium might not fill up as easily on Sundays. However, the former owners of the Reds (now called “Ministers”) have announced that they are establishing an online marketplace where tickets can more easily be sold through “exchanges.” A Canadian company has been hired to take charge of the effort.
Nicely done...
And their new symbol will be the 5 pointed Red Star?
Ticket prices to "necessarily skyrocket".
Perfect name for commie central.
"Hail to the Reds"?
I thought the same thing...comrade.
And the stadium will be wrapped tightly in Red Tape to make sure fans have a very, very difficult time getting in.
“Hold the Red Star proudly high in hand.”
They’ll just play The Internationale, instead.
Well, there may no longer be a fight song. It would promote violence.
Makes sense to me.
And in the interest of “fairness” and “justness” the Reds will not be allowed to outscore other teams.
Why not just the “Red Curtain”
Almost. The goathead pentagram.
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