Skip to comments.Redskins to be re-named the Washington 'Reds'
Posted on 10/31/2013 8:09:10 AM PDT by MrChips
In a move certain to delight most of official Washington, D.C., it has been decided to change the name of the Washington Redskins football franchise to the Washington Reds. President Obama, himself, voiced his approval of the decision, as did Harry Reid, who was practically giddy upon hearing the news. The stadium will be painted red, in keeping with the new name, and its own name will be changed to Red Stadium. All players who play for the Reds, as well as all Red staff, Red cheerleaders, and Red coaches, will be asked to pay a 60% surtax on their exorbitant salaries and to divest of their pension plans entirely in order to share their wealth more equitably with all of the people of the District of Columbia. Any profit-sharing from games played by the Reds will be placed into the general coffers at Treasury Department and administered by Jack Lew.
Ticket prices are expected to rise, to cover the cost of painting the stadium red, but also because all seating in the stadium is expected to go for the same price in an effort to ensure equality and fairness, although one section of free seats on the 50-yard line is being reserved for members of Congress and select people who work for the Obama administration. There will, of course, be a presidential box with red seats. An account of the new pricing policy, some have expressed concern that the stadium might not fill up as easily on Sundays. However, the former owners of the Reds (now called Ministers) have announced that they are establishing an online marketplace where tickets can more easily be sold through exchanges. A Canadian company has been hired to take charge of the effort.
That could work.
Might as well call them the Washington Pinkos.
With a giant post of Stalin overhead? . . . Or of Obama, perhaps.
It is a sad state of affairs when I read an article and can’t be 100% certain that it is satire, until I read it a second time; such is the new America.
Players won’t be traded — they will be purged.
Wonder where they will place the Hammer and Sickle emblem?
Sorry. But, you’re right.
It will screw up sports best fight song.
No, they can change it to ‘The East is Red’
Surprise, welcome to our FEMA camp.
If you already have tickets, you can keep them. Period. Nobody can take them away from you. Period.
How about “Pigskins”?
The football might be offended.
Really? I can keep them? :-)
LOL that must already be in effect.
Could also be the pig! But then again, you could always put lipstick on it!
I can see the fans now picking the threads out of their embroidered Redskins clothes and leaving the Reds there.
Or painting over it on their Jerseys.
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