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Redskins to be re-named the Washington 'Reds'
October 31, 2013 | MrChips

Posted on 10/31/2013 8:09:10 AM PDT by MrChips

In a move certain to delight most of official Washington, D.C., it has been decided to change the name of the Washington Redskins football franchise to the Washington Reds. President Obama, himself, voiced his approval of the decision, as did Harry Reid, who was practically giddy upon hearing the news. The stadium will be painted red, in keeping with the new name, and its own name will be changed to Red Stadium. All players who play for the Reds, as well as all Red staff, Red cheerleaders, and Red coaches, will be asked to pay a 60% surtax on their exorbitant salaries and to divest of their pension plans entirely in order to share their wealth more equitably with all of the people of the District of Columbia. Any profit-sharing from games played by the Reds will be placed into the general coffers at Treasury Department and administered by Jack Lew.

Ticket prices are expected to rise, to cover the cost of painting the stadium red, but also because all seating in the stadium is expected to go for the same price in an effort to ensure equality and fairness, although one section of free seats on the 50-yard line is being reserved for members of Congress and select people who work for the Obama administration. There will, of course, be a presidential box with red seats. An account of the new pricing policy, some have expressed concern that the stadium might not fill up as easily on Sundays. However, the former owners of the Reds (now called “Ministers”) have announced that they are establishing an online marketplace where tickets can more easily be sold through “exchanges.” A Canadian company has been hired to take charge of the effort.


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: commies; nfl; redskins
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1 posted on 10/31/2013 8:09:10 AM PDT by MrChips
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To: MrChips

Nicely done...


2 posted on 10/31/2013 8:11:07 AM PDT by Afterguard (Liberals will let you do anything you want, as long as it's mandatory.)
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To: MrChips

And their new symbol will be the 5 pointed Red Star?


3 posted on 10/31/2013 8:11:30 AM PDT by AU72
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To: MrChips
Ticket prices are expected to rise

Ticket prices to "necessarily skyrocket".

4 posted on 10/31/2013 8:11:40 AM PDT by cicero2k
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To: MrChips

Perfect name for commie central.


5 posted on 10/31/2013 8:12:10 AM PDT by RS_Rider (I hate Illinois Nazis)
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To: MrChips
It will screw up sports best fight song.

"Hail to the Reds"?

6 posted on 10/31/2013 8:12:37 AM PDT by AU72
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To: MrChips
The Washington Reds Comrades
7 posted on 10/31/2013 8:13:48 AM PDT by Tired of Taxes
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To: RS_Rider

I thought the same thing...comrade.


8 posted on 10/31/2013 8:13:49 AM PDT by toolman1401
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To: MrChips

And the stadium will be wrapped tightly in Red Tape to make sure fans have a very, very difficult time getting in.


9 posted on 10/31/2013 8:14:02 AM PDT by Obadiah (I Like Ted.)
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To: AU72

“Hold the Red Star proudly high in hand.”


10 posted on 10/31/2013 8:14:07 AM PDT by deadrock (I am someone else.)
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To: AU72
If that's the case, it would be a counterpart to this 5 pointed star:

11 posted on 10/31/2013 8:14:33 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (LIV's are products of an incomplete education.)
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To: AU72

They’ll just play The Internationale, instead.


12 posted on 10/31/2013 8:14:37 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: MrChips
Hey,the Steelers are known as “The Steel Curtain”...the Reds can be known as the “Beltway Commies”.
13 posted on 10/31/2013 8:14:41 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Osama Obama Care: A Religion That Will Have You On Your Knees!)
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To: AU72

Well, there may no longer be a fight song. It would promote violence.


14 posted on 10/31/2013 8:15:02 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: Obadiah
LOL! Now that is good!
15 posted on 10/31/2013 8:17:32 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: MrChips
And I hear the Packers are thinking about moving to San Francisco.


16 posted on 10/31/2013 8:17:35 AM PDT by Utah Binger (Southern Utah where the world comes to see America)
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To: MrChips

Makes sense to me.

17 posted on 10/31/2013 8:17:36 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: MrChips

And in the interest of “fairness” and “justness” the Reds will not be allowed to outscore other teams.


18 posted on 10/31/2013 8:18:10 AM PDT by windsorknot (>>>)
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To: Gay State Conservative

Why not just the “Red Curtain”


19 posted on 10/31/2013 8:18:22 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: AU72

Almost. The goathead pentagram.


20 posted on 10/31/2013 8:19:56 AM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: MrChips
Think of the promotions they could have:

Stalin bobble-heads, win a free trip to the Gulag.

21 posted on 10/31/2013 8:19:57 AM PDT by AU72
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To: Gay State Conservative

>>>Hey,the Steelers are known as “The Steel Curtain”...the Reds can be known as the “Beltway Commies<<<

I think the “Steel Curtain” was the Steelers defensive line from the 1970s.

At any rate, why not call the Washington Reds D-line the “Iron Curtain”?


22 posted on 10/31/2013 8:20:15 AM PDT by Above My Pay Grade (The people have the right to tell government what guns it may possess, not the other way around.)
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To: MrChips

How apropos


23 posted on 10/31/2013 8:20:21 AM PDT by NFHale (The Second Amendment - By Any Means Necessary.)
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To: MrChips

I still like The All Blacks-like the NZ rugby team.


24 posted on 10/31/2013 8:21:25 AM PDT by Dr. Ursus
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To: MrChips

I thought they were going to drop the “Washington” part as being offensive.


25 posted on 10/31/2013 8:24:31 AM PDT by NonValueAdded (It's not the penalty, it's the lack of coverage on 1 Jan. Think about it.)
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To: MrChips

i think they should just fold since they no longer have any skin in the game


26 posted on 10/31/2013 8:24:47 AM PDT by bigheadfred
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To: MrChips

Please, everyone, this is no joking matter.


27 posted on 10/31/2013 8:25:26 AM PDT by tirednvirginia
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To: MrChips

They’ve always been at war with EastDallas...


28 posted on 10/31/2013 8:26:34 AM PDT by Flycatcher (God speaks to us, through the supernal lightness of birds, in a special type of poetry.)
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To: MrChips
Warren Beatty to attend the inaugural game...


29 posted on 10/31/2013 8:28:49 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (I'm a Christian, pro-life, pro-gun, Reaganite. The GOP hates me. Why should I vote for them?)
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To: Tired of Taxes

“The Washington Reds Comrades”

Comreds...


30 posted on 10/31/2013 8:28:58 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz ("Senator Cruz basically made the Democrats fight for a whole bunch of things that they already had.")
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To: tirednvirginia

What isn’t? Changing the name of the Redskins? Or changing a free nation into a communist one?


31 posted on 10/31/2013 8:30:15 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: Flycatcher

“They’ve always been at war with EastDallas...”

You mean East Rutherford.


32 posted on 10/31/2013 8:30:30 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz ("Senator Cruz basically made the Democrats fight for a whole bunch of things that they already had.")
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To: Utah Binger

33 posted on 10/31/2013 8:32:36 AM PDT by Utah Binger (Southern Utah where the world comes to see America)
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To: EQAndyBuzz

Lol. Much better pun. My salute to you!


34 posted on 10/31/2013 8:34:18 AM PDT by Flycatcher (God speaks to us, through the supernal lightness of birds, in a special type of poetry.)
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To: AU72

More likely it will be the symbol of a crescent moon.


35 posted on 10/31/2013 8:37:02 AM PDT by 353FMG
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To: MrChips

Best reading of the day!

THANKS!


36 posted on 10/31/2013 8:39:23 AM PDT by 3D-JOY
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To: MrChips

Seeing as DC is controlled by the democRATS, an appropriate name would be the RATS.


37 posted on 10/31/2013 8:42:12 AM PDT by kenmcg (scapegoat)
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To: AU72

38 posted on 10/31/2013 8:44:25 AM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: 3D-JOY

You’re welcome. We aim to please. :-)


39 posted on 10/31/2013 8:47:10 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: deadrock

40 posted on 10/31/2013 8:47:39 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: kenmcg

Not bad!


41 posted on 10/31/2013 8:49:23 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: MrChips
They could be the Red Sins and only have to give up one letter. The team motto could be "100 million killed and counting". The team mascot could be an emaciated starving political prisoner. Instead of cheerleaders, they could have firing squads.

That could work.

42 posted on 10/31/2013 8:52:39 AM PDT by Defiant (GOPe Strategy: We have to fund Obamacare in order to see how bad it is. Good idea, guys!)
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To: MrChips

Might as well call them the Washington Pinkos.


43 posted on 10/31/2013 8:54:06 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: MrChips

Go Commissars!


44 posted on 10/31/2013 8:59:55 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: Defiant

With a giant post of Stalin overhead? . . . Or of Obama, perhaps.


45 posted on 10/31/2013 9:01:50 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: MrChips

It is a sad state of affairs when I read an article and can’t be 100% certain that it is satire, until I read it a second time; such is the new America.


46 posted on 10/31/2013 9:01:52 AM PDT by Turbo Pig (...to close with and destroy the enemy...)
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To: MrChips

Players won’t be traded — they will be purged.


47 posted on 10/31/2013 9:02:25 AM PDT by Uncle Chip
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To: MrChips

Wonder where they will place the Hammer and Sickle emblem?


48 posted on 10/31/2013 9:03:00 AM PDT by Huskerfan44 (Huskerfan44 (22 Yr, Navy Vet))
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To: Turbo Pig

Sorry. But, you’re right.


49 posted on 10/31/2013 9:03:09 AM PDT by MrChips (MrChips)
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To: AU72

It will screw up sports best fight song.
No, they can change it to ‘The East is Red’


50 posted on 10/31/2013 9:05:56 AM PDT by Old North State
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