Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Nominee For Holder Replacement Named
Retired Texas Vet | 9-27-14 | Retired Texas Vet

Posted on 09/27/2014 6:37:04 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

The nominee to replace Eric Holder as the US Attorney General was announced today by the White House. Travis County, Texas District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg was named.

Although not a national figure or Federal Deputy Attorney General, Rosemary Lehmberg garnered national notoriety by engineering the indictment of Gov. Rick Perry.

Valarie Jarrett, special adviser to the president, worked with an ABA search committee to find a replacement for Holder. The committee exhausted several lists of recently disciplined and disbarred lawyers seeking a lawyer with similar professional ethics and standards as Holder without success. Turning to other available pools of possible candidates, five flushes resulted in Rosemary Lehmberg floating to the surface as the best available candidate for the position.

Harry Reid has stated that he will unilaterally change the senate rules to allow probation officers, correctional personnel, and Travis County Sheriffs Deputies testify as character witnesses. Harry also stated that if Rosemary should happen to be incarcerated for PI or DUI at the time of the Senate confirmation hearings, he would not hold the hearings in a correctional facility; however, he would allow the process to take place over the internet using "Make The Meeting" software provided, if necessary, by one of his crony capitalist.

Senator Warren praised the selection. She stated that Rosemary and she were sisters from the same Western Massachusetts Indian tribe - the Bolsheviks. Sarah Palin disapproved of the selection but did suggest that they liberally apply lipstick to her before her confirmation hearings. Senator Cruz stated that he would not attend the confirmation hearings unless Rosemary was put in restraints and fitted with a spit mask. Senator Schumer said he was pleased to throw his support to the first non-lesbian Attorney General. Vice President Slow Joe Biden was caught unawares by the nomination and confusedly stated that he was running for Vice President in 2016 and would not be available for the position.

When questioned, Rosemary stated that she felt blessed by Mother Gaia to be selected. She further stated that filling Eric's shoes would be a tall task but she had been prepared by years of understudy with her idol Ronnie Earle. In fact, she felt that Eric Holder was, in essence, a black Ronnie Earle. Rosemary did feel that she could do some things better to improve relations with Congress. She felt that a "beer summit" with Congressman Issa and Lois Lerner might have toned things down. Rosemary's emphasis on beer summits was based on her own experience, "Who can stay mad at another person after a case of beer?".

Rosemary felt that the confirmation hearings might be tough with the Republicans nit picking but she would approach the hearings with a few good belts and her head held high.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ericholder; rickperry; rosemarylehmberg; satire; texas
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-45 next last

1 posted on 09/27/2014 6:37:05 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

LOL!


2 posted on 09/27/2014 6:38:46 PM PDT by Jane Long ("And when thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

Good grief!

Don’t do that!


3 posted on 09/27/2014 6:40:17 PM PDT by workerbee (The President of the United States is PUBLIC ENEMY #1)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

LOL....had me going for a minute because I could believe it with this administration. Thanks for the laugh!


4 posted on 09/27/2014 6:41:13 PM PDT by dutchess
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

I thoroughly agree with picking an Attorney General from Texas since the last three were such spectacular successes (Tom Clark, Ramsey Clark, and Alberto Gonzalez), but why pick a white woman when Sheila Jackson Lee is available?


5 posted on 09/27/2014 6:41:36 PM PDT by Verginius Rufus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

How about the beheader from OK..if Obama had a son he would look like that guy..he would be perfect for the DOJ, hates America, hates white people, hates Jews, it would be like Holder never left


6 posted on 09/27/2014 6:41:42 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

That’s a good one!


7 posted on 09/27/2014 6:42:18 PM PDT by rabidralph
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

It took me a minute to realize this is satire!!

Good job.

Excuse me while I go double up on my blood pressure meds.


8 posted on 09/27/2014 6:43:02 PM PDT by berdie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

Look out John Semmons!

VERY well done!


9 posted on 09/27/2014 6:43:28 PM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat Party!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jane Long
passed out vodka photo: Passed out again DB6c_zpsb908d16f.jpg

Moral Leadership, Democrat Style...
10 posted on 09/27/2014 6:44:02 PM PDT by golux
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

:)


11 posted on 09/27/2014 6:44:36 PM PDT by fatima (Free Hugs Today :))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet
LOL! Damn. Had me going there. Just shows what a Charlie Foxtrot this regime is that stuff like this is plausible.
12 posted on 09/27/2014 6:45:06 PM PDT by CrazyIvan (I lost my phased plasma rifle in a tragic hovercraft accident.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: golux

Yikes!


13 posted on 09/27/2014 6:49:33 PM PDT by Jane Long ("And when thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet
More than ever before we need the Senate and keep the House. Without the Presidency we are in grave trouble and America is finished. Perhaps with the two houses we can either prevent more communists appointments. King Obama has destroyed America enough and must be stopped.

By the way, none of this would have happened if the fools that hate Romney would have thought what they were doing. All Romney haters are real fools and most are so poorly informed it is unbelievable. He was not perfect but would have saved America from the damage this second term of the communists black Muslim traitor we now have.

14 posted on 09/27/2014 6:49:42 PM PDT by Logical me
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet
I wouldn't put it past them demoncraps.

It may just turn out to not be satire.

15 posted on 09/27/2014 6:49:55 PM PDT by Slyfox (Satan's goal is to rub out the image of God he sees in the face of every human.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

Are you trying to compete with John Semmes?
That was good.


16 posted on 09/27/2014 6:51:16 PM PDT by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is now the operational arm of the CPUSA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Verginius Rufus
"... but why pick a white woman when Sheila Jackson Lee is available?"

Because She-Jack is on tap to become the President's Science Adviser. She-Be the next Hi-Tech Czar.

(Next stop for NASA? The Sun!)

17 posted on 09/27/2014 6:52:29 PM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Jane Long

For that matter, Obama could choose that State Attorney for Wisconsin who has waged a baseless legal war against Gov. Walker because Walker’s anti-union decisions have reduced the Atty’s wife to tears of frustration. That is the caliber of official I would expect from the O Administration.


18 posted on 09/27/2014 6:52:38 PM PDT by lee martell
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: RetiredTexasVet

Did they pull her over or was she just sittin’ by the side of the DOJ?


19 posted on 09/27/2014 6:53:13 PM PDT by outofsalt ( If history teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Sarah Barracuda

I think he’s booked up for a while.


20 posted on 09/27/2014 6:54:19 PM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie (zerogottago)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-45 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson