Passenger live tweets awkward midair breakup

Take just a second to think about it. Firstly, you’re surrounded by snoopy strangers. OK, that doesn’t deter you? Think about the fact that your probably distraught ex will be stuck next to you in a confined and already unpleasant space. For hours. And they will want answers.

This is exactly what happened to one poor ex-couple who had their horribly awkward breakup — which started at Raleigh Airport in the US and continued into the sky — live tweeted in excruciating detail by a captivated onlooker.

“This is the greatest plane delay I’ve ever had,” the onlooker — New Yorker Kelly Keegs — said of the unexpected in-flight show.

The argument went on and on, with the woman accusing her ex of hating everything about her, saying that it was so easy for him to end it. Followed by lots of *loud sobs*.

He then told her to calm down to which she responded: “I thought this was going to go somewhere”.

I was on a flight once with an unassisted 30-something mother travelling with her 4 kids... the oldest was maybe 9, the youngest a toddler. This woman completely had her shit together... everything was structured... the sippy cup for the little one was ready on a moment's notice, the older children had books and toys... snack bags all premade and ready to go... I was just in absolute awe.

As we were getting off the plane and she was getting the stroller from the overhead, I just had to blurt out in front of the people in our vicinity that there is a special place in heaven reserved for her.

I wonder what sort of man hits the jackpot of life to find such a strong woman as that?

“This is the greatest plane delay I’ve ever had,” the onlooker — New Yorker Kelly Keegs”

Does anyone else find it disturbing that Ms. Keegs takes such joy in someone else’s misery?

I don’t believe I would have found the flight all that enjoyable listening to a young woman’s “sobs”.

Maybe it’s just me.

I only flew the last days of the Golden Age of air travel as a kid in the 1970s. Probably the nicest I flew on then was TWA and Braniff, but in California the finest was PSA because of the stewardesses. Saw my first real pair of life unobstructed breastesses on a PSA stewardess who was bra-less when she stooped over to tie my little shoe for me. She looked like Suzanne Sommers. You don’t see stewardesses like THAT anymore... Except for Air France who have fashion models for stewardesses.

Anyway, modern domestic first class is still a smidge better than coach from the 1970s. I’ve had every first class meal on United Airlines. It’s all the same, hasn’t really changed in years, and pretty much amounts to a pre-made meal from those Schwann’s trucks that sell food to your door from a refrigerated truck by subscription. Only great meal they have is the sashimi plate coming back from Hawaii. Downside to United is that they still have (or had, because they’re retiring them) a lot of Boeing 757s in their lineup and I cannot stand the 757.

For high end first class, I’ve flown the new 787 Dreamliner in United’s Global First lay flat bed from San Francisco to Heathrow and I think the only thing that beats that is going to be Malaysia/Singapore/Emirates apartment suite class, and fat chance I’m ever going to fly any of those airlines. The 787 Dreamliner was just unbelievable. Makes even the best Airbus seem like a Hyundai.

I stopped cursing United Airlines after my last few first class trips with them. They’ve really got their act together lately. One of the other domestic carriers that’s trying really hard is US Airways, and they have a pretty luxurious first class that doesn’t often cost a whole lot more than Economy Plus. It’s worth the extra couple hundred bucks if you have a long flight planned and know your travel dates way in advance so you can book the flight long ahead of time.

There’s lots of tricks to flying first class and the first secret is that almost nobody is paying full fare for those seats. You buy them with miles bought online from a broker and then upgrade from an economy plus seat that you reserve long in advance. Between our miles program on United and Star Alliance points we bought from an online auction, we paid $350/seat to fly first class on the 787 to London.

Yes, there are jerks in first class, but when people aren’t packed in like sardines they’re a lot better behaved if there’s an unfortunate delay.

We once sat on the taxiway for a few hours after pulling back from the gate and after awhile we heard commotion in the economy class from people starting to lose their minds. People started demanding free drinks, yet the stewardesses weren’t serving them anything — even water. Wow. The pilot had to get on the intercom and tell people to sit down and behave, and then some coach people demanded to use first class restrooms because the lone was so long in economy. The stewardesses just closed off first class and served us ice cream and champagne while everyone in coach was yelling and refusing to remain seated. Thank God the delay finally broke and we were allowed to take off. Some young uniformed US Army soldier got put in an empty first class seat behind us and he couldnt believe his luck that he wasn’t back in economy suffering like everyone else. He was probably too young for booze, but we kept sneaking him Jack and Cokes.

Still wasn’t as bad as the time I sat in a plane in the middle of an ice storm at Boston Logan for six hours after we were rerouted there coming back from London because we couldn’t land at JFK. Since it wasn’t our scheduled point of entry we weren’t allowed to deplane — post-9/11 rules from DHS. People were going nuts inside the plane and one chick flipped out and lit a cigarette and it caused the whole crew to get her to stop and then everyone was mad and shouting at her because of the cigarette smoke. When we landed in New York hours later, we had to wait for the cops to board the plane to drag her dumb ass away. Only thing that saved us was that my wife’s mom lived in NYC and she drove through the snowstorm to rescue us and put us up at her place for a few days.

Both of those incidents were certainly worth the extra several hundred bucks to have first class seats, believe me.

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