******************
******************
******************
******************
******************
******************
Grandma discovers SnapChat
******************
******************
The new supermarket near my house has an automatic water mister to keep produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases,
you hear cows mooing and breathe in the aroma of chocolate milk.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and
the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the sound of a gentle breeze and the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
******************
******************
An engineer dies in a tragic accident and finds himself in hell.
Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators.
The engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?"
Satan says, "Hey things are going great.
We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer?
That's a mistake -- he should never have gone down there!
You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here!"
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him."[img=37x31]http://www.chatitaliachat.it/serpe/msn/38.gif[/img]
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?"
******************
******************
That's one upset customer (mind the language)
******************
******************
Potty Mouth Bird
******************
******************
