Posted on 12/07/2016 3:54:07 AM PST by eccentric
What is marriage? What is the purpose of marriage? What does it mean?
I am asking this of a culture where it is normal to live together while unmarried, have children and give them names of either parent. Marriages don't necessarily last longer than just living together, so it is not a lifetime commitment, i.e. 'til death do us part.' The law no longer distinguishes between having a marriage license or not when people separate....
So with 'marriage' having lost any significance, what is the purpose of a wedding? In the past, a wedding celebrated the beginning of a new way of life for a couple. Gifts were given to help them set up a new household and prepare for children, etc.
My Wife and I eloped. It was wonderful.
My Wife’s Sister (a nut job Minnesotan LIBERAL) still complains that she was not invited to the wedding - She still does not, after 25+ years understand that there was no wedding.
She was one of many good reasons we chose to elope.
Our daughter was married in October.
Before they got married, we talked to the kids about what the day meant to us. (They asked.)
We told them we saw it as they day where we stood before our family and friends and made a commitment to each other before God. We saw the people attending the wedding as witnesses who had an obligation to do what they could to ensure that our vows were upheld—they were making a commitment to us.
The reception was a different story. It was a fun party celebrating our new “family.”
My children are pretty traditional that way.
I think there has always been a lot made out of the reception and everything that goes around it. Like everything else these days, its “significance” has been lost and the bling has been exacerbated.
Well, 25+ years and a liberal just proves that you can’t fix stupid.
I don't think the Good Lord cares much about whether people conform to some government's idea of what fees need to paid to be deemed "legal." "Render unto Caesar..." and all that. :)
Human beings are biologically programmed to reproduce a certain way, and to develop a specific kind of relationship in order to nurture the offspring.
Marriage is an umbrella term for the many customs and laws that have evolved to protect that relationship. Whether one wants to consider secular laws or religious customs (which were not always separate), the basis of marriage is still the biological imperative.
In the legal system, there are a lot of laws regarding the children. What happens if one parent dies? If both die? What becomes of the children? What happens to property the parents owned if the children who should inherit the property are too young to legally do so? Etc.
I have never seen people who would like to see government get out of marriage and designate marriage as a purely religious institution explain how these issues would be handled in the absence of the legal marriage contract.
Nor have I ever seen the “gay marriage” advocates, including those on the Supreme Court who declared that “gay marriage” is a thing, explain exactly what “gay marriage” is supposed to be, and how it fits into existing marriage law pertaining to children and inheritance. (Do gays really need a pseudo-marriage certificate to leave their property to their favorite partner?)
Are you sure? Not saying you're wrong, just that it sounds counter-intuitive and I just don't know any better; this implies that a man shacking up with some broad can be assessed the same alimony and child support as a married man. Who knew?
Agree. The whole concept of government sanctioned marriage is a sham. The institution is all founded in religion, primarily Judaism adopted to Christianity.
It’s a commitment to procreation. Not necessarily that they will, but a M/F couple will tend to, and all are best served by the parents permanently responsible for caring for kids & each other.
Societies have spent thousands of years developing marriage as an institution for good reasons regarding reproduction, yet ours now refuses to acknowledge that reason, opting for confused “feelings”.
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.
As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.”
He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”
> When it comes right down to it, nobody really needs a wedding. The legalities can be taken care of in the most utilitarian way. So any wedding, regardless of whether the couple lives together, has kids - or not - is just a “big party.”
(p>
One big party that is solely focused on the bride. The groom is simply a stand-in actor to make the bride look good.
Does anyone nowadays understand what the bride’s white wedding dress is supposed to symbolise?
“Marriages don’t necessarily last longer than just living together”
Necessarily? no. Usually, yes. Marriages are overwhelmingly more likely to last forever compared with living together.
I think weddings have always served another, social purpose, of bringing the community together to witness and celebrate a union which constitutes the central unit of human society. By participating, all are partaking in a recognition of what the institution of marriage really means to the larger community.
This is very obvious in cultures where marriage is still considered an important duty that the individual has to family and society. Maybe not as obvious in the US, nowadays.
It serves as a victory party for the females, no doubt.
It SHOULD mark their entry into married life and all the appropriate behaviors that go along with that, but chicks nowadays don’t like to be told what to do, so it has devolved to simply being a chick-controlled party.
Also, a wedding is not for the wedders; it is really for their parents. It’s THEIR day.
By today’s standards: nothing.
I hear you. Have it my family, as well. Sad.
One of my favorite sayings.
Well put.
Marriage is tough and takes time and work. I’m afraid that many younger people aren’t considering the cost and the work anymore.
I’m reminded of an email I received from a young lady in response to a letter I sent her new husband.
To set the scene. He had joined the Marines but hadn’t left for boot camp yet. They had nothing at all for assets and two part time jobs. She told him she was pregnant and they eloped.
I’ve known the boy (not a man) for over a decade and felt the need to give him some advice so I wrote a good old fashioned letter.
In the letter, I first upbraided him for stealing his wife’s day. Most girls want a fancy wedding and he took her to a judge. But now, he’s done. It’s time to set up his household. I told him that he must move out of her parents house and get into a cheap, crappy apartment on a monthly lease. (She can move back in when he leaves for training)
I told him to get back to church and counsel with the pastor who is used to dealing with people’s screw ups.
I then offered to pay the entire cost to send them to a Weekend to Remember, a Christian marriage conference.
The girl, who I’ve never met sent me a long text trashing me for speaking to her husband in that manner. How dare I? I don’t even know him. (I reminded her of our ten year plus relationship)
She then described herself as a partial adult who could do what she wanted.
“Partial adult?” What the heck is that?
Needless to say, she couldn’t remain chaste while he was in training and they are no longer married.
Sad and completely predictable.
Then it is not a marriage as Jesus defined it.
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