Posted on 12/23/2016 4:54:49 AM PST by Lucky9teen
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. There was a romantic full moon, and Huan Cho said, “Hey baby, let’s play Weeweechu.”
“Oh no, not now. Lets just look at the moon”, said Jung Lee.
“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Huan Cho Begged.
“But I had rather just hold your hand and watch the moon.”
“Please Jung Lee, just once... play Weeweechu with me.”
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, “OK, we’ll play Weeweechu.”
Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang...
“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...”
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Gramma is!”
Mary goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards and she says to the cashier, ‘May I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?’
The cashier says, ‘What denomination?’
Miriam says, ‘Oy vey, has it come to this? OK, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.’
Last year, just before Hanukkah, Miriam, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown up grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. ‘You come to the front door of the condominium complex. I am in apartment 2B.’
Miriam continued, ‘There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 2B. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 2. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.’
‘Grandma, that sounds easy,’ replied Jonathan, the grandson, ‘but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow.’
To which she answered, ‘You’re coming to visit empty handed?’
Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah Everyone!
Last night I went to a Christmas party. I had a few drinks... I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit.
That’s when I decided to do what I have never done before. I took a cab home.
Sure enough there was a police road block on the way home but since it was a cab they waved it on through. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don’t even know where I got it and now that it’s parked at my house I don’t know what to do with it!
Think I might need a good lawyer
TOP 30???
There’s one of those electronic warning signs on the side of I-26 south of Johnson City, TN that is bringing a smile to people’s faces...the message? ‘Buckle Up’...’Buttercup’...’It’s the Law!’. Hacker or someone at TDOT with a sense of humor? No one knows.
Everything checked out okay. Thanks for the laughs and Merry Christmas to you both!
At least someone at TDOT has a sense of humor. There are “cute” signs all over the state.
1992: Bill Clinton defeats George H.W. Bush. Most conservatives are mortified. No protests or riots.
1996: Clinton defeats Dole. Most conservatives are disappointed. Again, no protests or riots.
FOOTNOTE: Clinton is impeached in ‘98 but, thanks to a Democrat majority on the Hill, he is not removed from office. Once again, no protests or riots.
2000: Dubya defeats Gore and howls of protest ensue. Massive recounts follow and, for the first time we hear arguments regarding “dimpled chads,” and “hanging chads,” but each recount seems to bolster the results of Bush’s victory. Still, the Dems (including Gore) are dubious about the results.
2004: Dubya defeats Kerry. Ok, for the most part, the Dems don’t go crazy about this one.
2008: Obama defeats McCain. And, according to the left, EVERYTHING was beautiful and, if you didn’t vote for Barry O, you were a racist. A bigot. A hater. A right wingnut. But they couldn’t protest or riot because they got what they wanted.
2012: Obama defeats Romney because, well, Romney was apparently the best the GOP could dredge up. At any rate, no protests or riots.
2016: Trump defeats HRC and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE WITH WEEPING AND GNASHING OF TEETH AND PROTESTS AND RIOTS AND KIDS WHO CAN’T VOTE ANYWAY WALKING OUT OF SCHOOL AND CELEBRITIES THREATENING TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY (but later saying they were only kidding) AND CALLS FOR RECOUNTS AND DOUBTS REGARDING THE VALIDITY OF THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE AND... AND... AND... SNORT, SNORT, huff, huff, wheeze, sniffle.
So, basically, the left IS the joke here.
Glad it all worked out IN THE END!
Just don’t be all that specific when people ask what you got for Christmas.
Maybe next year Santa will bring you a colonoscopy and an upper GI!
Woo Hoo.
IN!!
Damn Straight! LOL.
East bound and down!
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