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Posted on 06/05/2017 6:01:43 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules' From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh...
Well, he has shoes and she doesn’t;)
So is "I don't know".
Some men need the toilet seat up some of the time. Time up vs. time down dictates it should be down. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be toilets in men’s rooms.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
He got to India just fine
These are really, really useful.
Thank you for posting.
Or just go your own way and you won’t have to deal with any of this for the rest of your life.
Acceptable answers from a long time ago in a barracks far far away:
“Yes, Sir!”
“No, Sir!”
“I don’t know, Sir, but I will find out!”
Hubby and I had this agreement when we first married. After he turned 50, he updated it. Now he asks "have I slept since then?" If so, he's not responsible for remembering.
He would have if hs maps had been worth a damn.
In all fairness, there are man statements that require tranlation. A few of them:
“That’s nice dear” Translation: “Are you still talking?”
“I thought we’d explore an alternate route.” Translation: “We’re lost.”
“I’m going to clean off the work bench.” Translation: “I’m going out to the garage to drink beer and watch the Cubs game. I do not expect to be disturbed.”
“That dress really looks nice.” Translation: “I’ve done something you’re not going to like, but I’m not ready to tell you about it yet.”
LOLOL
He would have if hs maps had been worth a damn.
The toilet seat and lid both go down in my house. We do not want the cats in the toilet.
It’s simple to rig a figure 4 trigger so that
they can’t get OUT of the toilet...
Don’t get me wrong, I personally know and am
accepted by my cousin’s two cats...but that’s all.
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