You Can't Open the Microsoft Surface Laptop Without Literally Destroying It

It's also important to note that iFixit is ONLY comlpainining about the Surface Laptop's upgradeability/repairability -- they otherwise describe the product in very well-deserved, glowing terms.

Repair specialists iFixit have dubbed the new laptop a ‘Russian nesting doll from hell.’

Microsoft's latest Surface Laptop may have earned glowing reviews from certain sections of the tech press, but don't tell that to iFixit.

The company, which provides repair tools and manuals for popular gadgets like the iPhone and PlayStation, has handed the Surface Laptop a score of 0 out of 10 in terms of user repairability, stating definitively that the laptop "is not meant to be opened or repaired; you can't get inside without inflicting a lot of damage."

iFixit's detailed teardown illustrates just how difficult it is to open the Surface. For starters, there are no screws, proprietary or otherwise, on the outside of the laptop. Instead, the laptop is literally welded together using a type of "plastic soldering" that is rare to see in consumer electronics.

Anyone hoping to get inside the "beautifully designed and crafted" computer will have to pry it open with a knife or dedicated pick in order to defeat Microsoft's plastic welding. Whether or not it's actually worth going through the trouble of defeating said welding is another matter, given that the "glue-filled monstrosity," as iFixit dubs the laptop, has none of the user-upgradeable parts you'd want to see in a PC, like memory or storage.

"It literally can't be opened without destroying it," the repair company concludes.

"If we could give it a -1 out of 10, we would," iFixit said in an emailed statement on Friday. "It's a Russian nesting doll from hell with everything hidden under adhesive and plastic spot welds. It is physically impossible to nondestructively open this device."

The Surface laptops, perhaps with the exception of 2012's Surface RT, have earned generally positive reviews, with critics variously commending Microsoft (Microsoft!) for designing attractive-looking hardware that doubles as a reference point for its vision of what a modern Windows-based laptop should look like. Unfortunately for consumers, this seductive vision is apparently incompatible with being able to extend the laptop's useful lifespan on your own.

> The X2 1012 from HP is their surface pro clone and it’s fully serviceable but it doesn’t mean you should still do it ;-). The parts are so ultra tiny now it’s nearly impossible to get things back together.

Yep. Microsoft has learned the lesson Apple learned years ago -- the vast majority of laptop users never upgrade their units, and overall, you're better off with a more reliable unit that won't require repair, than one that is less reliable and is more likely to.

I've been a DIY computer builder since 1975 -- 40 years or so -- but I find myself siding with the "disposable" decision on this item. The reason is simple: I could never build a DIY homebrew machine this thin, light, powerful, and reliable myself; and if the thinness, lightness, power, and reliability were my primary requirements, then the requirement to have it be user-upgradeable/user-repairable is far less important to me.

Of course (as so many FReepers have commented already), YMMV...

> The auto industry plans to do this with their product someday. Won’t start? Buy a new one.

True story, only an hour old.

I was just out mowing my lawn with my ancient Craftsman riding mower. Ancient 5-HP B&S engine. Halfway done, out in the middle of the field, suddenly the engine quit, like it had run out of gas, but there was plenty in the tank.

I mutter a curse at Fate, and wonder what just broke. Parts for this antique are mostly unavailable other than maybe eBay... and it's Sunday, and the weather forecast says it's gonna rain like crazy in about 8 hours. Can't let the mower just sit there...

So I lift the bonnet, take off the carb/air-filter cover, remove the air filter, okay, carb looks okay from the top end. Throttle and choke/butterflies all look fine, no broken linkages or rusted-out springs...

Follow the fuel line from the gas tank to the carb, and lo-and-behold the fuel filter looks like a cocoon. Okay, open the spring clips and separate it from the fuel line, open it up, sure enough a piece of crud stuck in it. Lift the crud out, reassemble the filter, put everything back together, and the engine kicks off and runs like a champ.

I finish mowing without further incident.

And return to my FReep thread about a non-unser-repairable laptop. Hmmmmm-mm...

Now - where the heck is the fuel filter on this thing!!??

Sometimes you'll see a little cylindrical dohickey on the power or monitor cables. If I recall correctly, it's called a balun. If you cut it off a system that is acting sluggish, you'll often find that it has built up so much deposits from the garbage in the lines that it is practically a solid hunk of metal. The balun is your computer's equivalent of a fuel filter. You may need a new one.

/jk

> Not to mention the absolutely vital step (after replacement of the balun) of refabulating the widget,...

And then don't forget to check whether your Turbo Encabulator is functioning correctly.

"... For a number of years now work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument is the turbo encabulator. ..."

Isn’t it absolutely glorious fun to run a line like that past a covey of MBA’s and watch ‘em get all buggy-eyed?

I told one that my password was “warlock” once. Must have had some effect, because for the next six months, nobody in his little office clique would even get on the same elevator with me. Cut ‘way down on the snotty rejoinders in Status Meetings, too.

> Isn’t it absolutely glorious fun to run a line like that past a covey of MBA’s and watch ‘em get all buggy-eyed?

True story. Back in the late 70's I was a design engineer doing computerized industrial motor controllers. We were using the standard NMOS microprocessors of the time (6800, 6502), but we were trying to convert most of the other logic over from TTL to CMOS. We brought up our desire for migrating to "CMOS technology" in a status meeting with upper management.

The next week a memo came out from the managers, speaking highly of "Sea Moss Technology", and causing much merriment in Engineering.

Another true story. Same place, a month later. Another status meeting. Management -- especially the Sales VP -- is all agog about making sure we're using the latest and greatest technology. They mention that they've heard our competition is now using CMOS (they got it right finally) technology and what was Engineering doing to counter this existential threat?

My boss, the Chief Engineer, said that we were already on top of it, and we were going to migrate to "LCF technology". Management was beside themselves with joy, and memos started circulating about "LCF technology".

A few days after this, I go into the Chief's office to chat and he's looking concerned. "What's up?" says I. "It's that damn LCF technology I mentioned. Now they want me to do a presentation on it!" says he. "No worries, boss", says I, "We'll put something together. By the way, what does 'LCF' stand for anyway?"

He gets this evil grin, and says, "Laminated Chicken Fat. I made it up on the spur of the moment in that meeting."

We invented a more suitable "Back-ronym" for "LCF", and did the presentation. No one was ever the wiser.

Maybe if I were rich I would try the Surface Pro. At work they started to offer it but say it will need to be sent out for repair when needed. Judging from iFixit I say they will just send a new one and junk the broken one.

My Acer Aspire E 15 E5-575G-76YK 15.6-inch laptop I bought this February does not have a touch screen but does have 1920 x 1080 resolution that I can easily view files and programs on. It cost about $550. It has a removable SSD that can be upgraded and extra space for a laptop hard drive. I added a 1TB 7200 hard drive for about $60. If the screen breaks I can remove it and replace myself.

And then don't forget to check whether your Turbo Encabulator is functioning correctly.

The real secret is in making sure that the magic blue smoke has the correct color tone. If you, as a tech, allow it to get too much grey in that tone pretty soon the system is overheating and the blue smoke is seeking release and it will find an egress. When that happens, it takes a lot of work to stuff that magic blue smoke back into the casing to make the system work again. Techs should always use a properly calibrated grayonficator to check the color tone of the smoke when ever they service any device. Of course, we all are aware that it is time consuming and expensive to properly calibrate the grayonificator, but if this step is overlooked, the consequences are grave. It is, therefor, imperative to impress on upper management to include sufficient time and funds for greyonification calibration, if not indeed, providing staff to handle such calibration.

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