Be more fun if the drunk monkey downed the vodka and crashed the boat.
This brand?
Posted on 12/04/2017 7:08:32 PM PST by ameribbean expat
They convince the cheeky chap to stop stealing their food and invite it to join them down the other end of the boat.
It obliges, spotting a bottle filled with vodka which it almost takes a bite out of another man in order to acquire.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailystar.co.uk ...
“Hey, Skipper.”
“Yeah.”
“There’s a monkey here says he wants to drive the boat.”
“Brown with big teeth?”
“Yeah, that’s him.”
“No way. Have you seen how he drives his Corvette?”
Be more fun if the drunk monkey downed the vodka and crashed the boat.
This brand?
Is she blaming drunk monkeys for her loss now? This could very well be one of her former campaign aides.
“Skipper!”
“Yeah.”
“I think enemy frogmen are under the boat!”
“Drop the monkey overboard!”
Splash!
“Look at him go!”
“Get a bottle of vodka up here. I think the little bastard is going AWOL again.”
“Captain!”
“Yes, Sailor.”
“There’s a monkey at the aft bar drinking vodka!”
“Is he on the Drinks Are Free Package?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Well, leave him alone. We gotta make our money somewhere.”
“I miss Warren.”
Me too. Can’t believe he’s been gone for fourteen years.
The mandatory life boat drill within one hour of setting sail.....
“Ladies and gentlemen, in the event of an emergency, we shall all meet here to board this lifeboat.”
“I ain’t getting on no lifeboat with that drunk monkey over there.”
“Don’t worry. He’s your Cruise Director. He’s got his own launch.”
“Damn the drunk monkeys! Full speed ahead!”
Great moments in naval history.
It’s like Winston Churchill said,
“Ahhhhh.....the Royal Navy. A legacy of rum, sodomy and the lash with drunk monkeys involved in all three.”
“You all know me. You know that I can take care of this drunk monkey problem for you. I’ll need 3 bowling balls, one of them copper cooking pans and a case of bourbon.”
“The monkey only drinks vodka, Captain.”
“The bourbon is for medicinal purposes, like if we get sunburned or something.”
I was never there, they can’t prove a thing!
Some monkeys just need a good spanking.
The captain had a cabin ape,
The dirty little nipper.
He stuffed his a** with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper.
I actually have this record. It was a not for sale radio/marketing promo. I think the other side is....damn, that one sone with David Gilmour on guitar...can’t remember right now....
Monkeys swim just fine. So do elephants, BTW.
I saw him twice in Sacramento and have most of the Albums or CDs. He died the same year Johnny Cash died. I was deeply saddened. Me and a friend used to rock out to his stuff in high school and college in the 80s and 90s. It was always such cynical and humorous rock n roll - “Frank and Jesse James”, “Model Citizen”, “Angel Dressed in Black”, “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead”, “Excitable Boy”, “Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner”, and on and on...Fantastic musician, singer and song writer.
Drove a locomotive far and near
Accompanies by a monkey who would sit on a stool Watching everything the engineer would do zone day the engineer wanted a bit to eat And left the monkey sitting in the drivers seat Monkey pulled the throttle, locomotive jumped the gun And did ninety miles an hour down the main line run...''
That looks like the kind of macaque that I had as a “pet” when I was young....way too smart to really be considered a pet. He learned to manipulate people to get what he wanted. ....would go to the neighbors and play with their dog until the dog was tired of being chased, neighbor would open kitchen door to let dog in, monkey would run in, grab a bag of potato chips and run out. He also loved to ride (with a human) on a motorcycle. Anytime he heard a motorcycle being cranked up, he would run, jump on the seat being the person and hang on for the ride.
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