Posted on 12/12/2017 9:30:01 AM PST by JockoManning
There are certainly some genetic precursors etc. involved. However, the OP is speaking to a deeper foundational issue. It is not clear where the genetic predisposition to handling alcohol poorly came from. It is very conceivable that eons ago, it arose out of serious RAD in some early humans.
In any case, that genetic predisposition does NOT develop into full blown alcoholism in the lives of all those with that genetic structure. Why?
For the addict they have a hard time detoxing
True. And, as the OP indicates, so do all those with a lack of affectionate loving bonding, CONNECTION early in life--regardless of the addiction--whether it be overwork, masturbation, OCD, hording cats, hording magazines, scratching or cutting one's skin, etc. etc. etc.
For both they suffer from incomprehensible demoralization. They are spiritually bankrupt. Until they can change this way of looking at the world they are doomed to die a miserable and lonely death.
That's part of what the OP was outlining. How does one change one's perspective when one's glued-in-existential contact-lenses--so to speak--are emphatically dark, bleak, isolated, painful, self-condemnatory, etc. etc. etc???
That would sort of align with the argument you put forth.
True. However, that could, for some, be far too glib and surface level of understanding.
WHY do addicts lack basic coping skills?
Clearly it is because of a wholesale lack of SUFFICIENT AMOUNT AND QUALITY of lavish affectionate love and being cherished for who they are vs their performance.
For example, my housemate's dad and step-dad were both quite insensitive and very harsh. His blood dad DEMANDED that all close to him, including his employees GUESS what he wanted done; GUESS when he wanted it done and GUESS how he wanted it done. Then he blamed all them for rapid turnover.
My housemate early on concluded there was no way to please either dad and mostly gave up trying.
Miraculously, in spite of his Jr High Principal declaring after he was the one BEING BULLIED, that he'd be in prison before he was 18 years old--he was never in trouble beyond one parking ticket and one speeding ticket--the latter on his honey moon. Further, he managed to get a high quality PhD in Clinical Psych.
So, the point I'm trying to make is that the lack of coping skills are rooted in the lack of affirming bonding--in our humble opinions--particularly with a loving Dad--the first 6-8 years of life.
And it can take years to overcome that lack with a good array of solid coping habits.
We disagree as follows.
Mid-career, highly successful people, with overwhelming circles of friends and family.
Business, career success can STILL be ridden with a chronic gnawing, desperate sense of low self-worth. Even the billionaire convinces himself he'll finally feel worth something if he makes yet another billion or maybe another 10 billion etc.
Such seemingly grand job success may merely highlight workaholism as their addiction of "choice."
Even a SEEMING grand array of social friends and family that SEEM to adore--at least on the surface, may mask a horrible sense of DISCONNECTION, ALONENESS etc. etc. etc.
We have known a long list of highly successful types that seemed to have it all together--even their relationships. But look not that deep below the surface and they and their family members were as miserable as a skid-row drunk.
Somehow feel the need for “a little help” to maintain the pace, move from coke, which has “worked” for a time, to crack...which takes over and drives them into a ditch. Lawyer friend,
Aerospace Exec,
Software Exec,
Several honor role students in my graduating class.
All such people can end up in a variety of types of ditches. Some are gilded ditches full of just as much pain as the gutter ditch.
We have been able for decades to merely ask a few questions and uncover the rot in the lives of such seeming social and career success stars. It's not even that well hidden--except to those who fail to or are unable to see below the surface very far.
And you totally ignored what the solution is.....if one is spiritually bankrupt the only solution that works is in fact a spiritual one
You can philosophize all you want. You ain’t gonna help anyone. When they are ready to accept the spiritual solution that is offered to them then they will change.
You can call it a genetic predisposition all you want but that is not what I was talking about....physically the alcoholic processes alcohol differently than the normal drinker. It is a physical/chemical difference
Your mind reading ability is lacking.
Nearly 24 years sober here. Time to stop trying to reinvent the addiction/treatment model.
AA came on the scene in 1939 and almost everything it showed the world, is still true today.
I quit playing word games. I have a condition (or disease or illness), whereby I do not drink normally. My substance of choice was “more beer.”
So lesson #1 is since I cannot drink successfully, normally, I cannot drink at all.
(moderation management largely failed in the real world)
“once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic” (or addict)
Good luck with all of the overeducated Psychobabble theories, mainly to justify costly programs.
Cold turkey detox may be best, since it is not painless.
Contemporary Obamacare style treatment puts fresh newcomers together.
They drink and use drugs in “sober living,” in part because a new commercial model has been substituted for old school, low bottom indigent recovery.
“we don’t drink, no matter what.”
I agree. And that is hard to overcome.
An interesting documentary, I believe it is called “Pleasure Unwoven”, describes the physical roads that become carved into the addicts brain.
So very true. The damage can take decades to overcome. And sadly, some never recover.
I dealt with oppositional defiance for about 10years in a beloved child with autism. It ain’t pretty. No substance issues yet tho.
Before I knew it, I was hiding alcohol, lying about how much I was consuming and having problems with almost every aspect of my life. Since alcohol was impacting me negatively and putting me in contact with law enforcement, I had to really evaluate how I had gotten to that point.
So I decided to give up drinking altogether and I credit AA with getting me where I needed to be. Severn years sober for me. I have never tried any hard drugs and wouldn’t, but it isn’t much of a leap to see myself hooked on something. Scares me still.
Actually, in our experience, it is very difficult to find individuals who are NOT 'addicted' to something. The DEGREE of the addiction is important but addiction is still addiction regardless of the degree.
However, a mild OCD addiction is seriously different from a compulsive sexual or violence addiction, in some significant respects.
CONGRATS on your 7 years of abstinence and sobriety! That is no small accomplishment. Re-wiring one's life is about as difficult as re-wiring one's brain.
I'm not sure it will all add up to more addictions, but I do think it really screws with the brain in bad ways.
We greatly agree.
And, actually, we believe such people are already addicted!
Already addicted to:
1. A VERY dysfunctional perception of reality.
2. A very irrational way of thinking--usually leaving them with tons of rationalizations to do whatever feels pleasant and escapist, if not blaming, at the time.
3. A victim mentality--which has a LOT in common with low self-worth. And their DEMANDS for others/society to FIX their circumstances--usually arbitrarily or for arbitrary reasons--is merely more facets of the dysfunctional carp involved.
4. The falsehood that circumstances must and always determine one's happiness.
5. That IF their environment does not match their whims and floating, often flip-floppy irrational silliness of what is "right," "good," "politically correct," THEN the environment is at fault and MUST immediately change--and probably pay them in some insane, stupid and clueless way. All this while they philosophically deny there even CAN be any "right/wrong," "good/bad," etc.
etc. etc. etc. Don't get us really wound up about THAT! LOL
.for one.....lack of contentment....
people just can not be happy and its deliberate...because only you can make yourself happy and content..
Certainly contentment and happiness arise from within or one is always "victimized" by circumstances.
However, it is learned. And extremely few parents teach it. Very few parents know it and practice it, model it, themselves.
And THAT usually correlates with a significant degree of RAD, as well.
Most children have few to no examples in their life of how true that is--in positive example ways.
They have tons of examples that whining is the way to go. Demanding is the way to go. Throwing 2 year old fits is the way to go.
Thanks for the kind bump.
Housemate has a seamstress for his complicated multi-pocket shirts. She has a daughter about 30 something who is a Physician's Assistant--brilliant etc. And chock full of RAD generated dysfunctions. She is chronically depressed and on prescription meds. Psychiatrists have been mostly no help if not part of the dysfunction. She persistently demands that others virtually force her to be happy. Will never work. She becomes suicidal frequently.
My housemate shocked himself a bit by telling the daughter once on the phone--'Well, if you are determined to be miserable--just go on to hell. But it's rather irrational and stupid to think that HELL will be MORE comfortable than life here!' Last he checked, she's still alive--sort of.
There's a Scripture--the KJV of which says, "As a man thinks, so is he." Psychology is full of verification of that Scripture.
Quite so.
However, one LEARNS how to CHRONICALLY have mental health or mental ill-health, how to be chronically depressed and/or anxious.
And, probably one learns such the first 6 years of life from one's primary care givers.
DNA and hormonal personal differences can play a part. But the overwhelming part are the brain grooves and feedback loops that become deeply and intensely entrenched--as the OP article outlines.
This is one of those situations where how the surrounding adults dealt with substances, as well as any genetic tendencies, plays more of a role than neglect or even lack of love. This is my opinion.
We have not read-up recently on the scientific studies, however our own personal observations and some older scientific studies leave us convinced that your belief on that score is simply misplaced. i.e. people without a physiological, DNA predisposition to substance abuse CAN AND DO become addicted to substances.
The raw substrate is there in everyone of us to establish that very dysfunctional dopamine groove, feedback loop etc. And, it doesn't seem to take toooo much to get it off and running in a dysfunctional way and degree in virtually anyone.
Certainly there seem to be genetic optimists that refuse to be depressed or dissatisfied about much of anything. But they are a minority.
One example of that is the dopamine reinforced loop of a cheap, shallow thrill by a "like" on social media; or merely receiving a text from someone. But the dopamine thrill is short-lived and shallow. So the screen/social media addiction is kept alive by the constant need for and acting out of the addiction to such. It's almost extremely difficult to find someone not so addicted in many circles and arenas, streets.
Substance abuse addictions are somewhat different than behavioral addictions to other things but NOT GREATLY. The dopamine reinforcement grooves and loop still plays THE key part in both sorts of addictions in very similar ways.
One might say: "A high is a high is a high is a high and a rose by any other name is still the same sort of high."
The dysfunctional brain groove, loop gets more and more deeply established regardless of whether there is any substance abuse involved, or not. That's the way dopamine works. In some respects, that's the way dopamine was designed to work. But the dysfunctional aspects were not part of the goal of the design.
Dr Henry Wright--Pastor in Georgia--says that ALL addiction is a desperate grasping for Daddy's love that was never there in sufficient qualities and amounts. Addictions are a vain--too futile effort to fill the hole that was unfilled at a critical time in a forming brain and life. He's right.
Actually, the oligarchy knows all this. Mostly they write-off individuals with serious degrees of RAD as untrustworthy and ultimately not worth society's bother. Trouble is, most of them are in the same boat. Idiots.
As my housemate has posted in several places on the web--there was a massive study of all the other studies todate 40+ years ago. The key question was--WHAT parenting, child rearing factors RESULT IN SUCCESSFUL ADULTS?
Success as adults was defined as:
1. A successful work record;
2. A successful marriage to one woman/man;
3. No trouble with the law;
4. Never been on welfare.
They looked at everything--socio-economic variables; types of discipline variables; consistency; easy-going vs strict; etc. etc. etc.
They discovered to their shock that ONE VARIABLE accounted for 80% of the variance. ONE FACTOR was 80% of what decided whether a child succeeded as an adult, or not.
What do you imagine that one variable was?
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No, it was NOT whether the parents loved the child, or not.
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It was DID THE CHILD FEEL LOVED, OR NOT.
That is an incredible finding. And it affirms a ton of RAD research, as well.
Sorry, but it does lead to addiction.
It is a persistent and consistently present pre-cursor in millions of lives to the setting up of the dysfunctional dopamine feedback loop, groove that is--essentially--addiction.
We are designed to seek comfort and avoid discomfort. That's extremely basic. The dopamine loop is a key part of that. Pain is a key part of that on the other end.
The existential pain of not being sufficiently loved IS A HUGE KEY to seeking other sources of comfort to ease the pain and provide at least some temporary bits of feeling better.
One can see such conditioning effects toward dysfunction and even substance abuse in very very young children.
It may be that the initial substance abuse is the bottle, or sugar, or some favorite food or treat. Transitioning to worse substances is a fairly straight route.
That’s just baloney.....my gosh I didn’t ‘feel’ loved as a child and never resorted to drugs.....and there’s plenty more like me......Sick and tired of hearing all the lame excuses used for drug addictions...
How about ‘they’ put it in their mouth...or ‘they’ shot it up with their own two hands.....
Play with fire you are going to get burned....it’s not like the warnings haven’t been out their for decades.
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