Frodo Baggins Charged With War Crimes

coldfury.com ^ | July 6, 2002 | Mike of Cold Fury

[Restorer]

Hmmm, well, an act of the Valar anyway.

Nahh. JRR was real plain that the Valar laid down their power for a while and called on Illuvatar. He made the decision to remove Aman from the "circles of the world" and in the process destroy Numenor.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

Yes, you're right... my bad. That's what I get for posting without my copy of The Silmarillion at hand.

[SamAdams76]

I say the U.S. military should scour the Shire again. Damned Hobbit bastards!

[Freedom_Is_Not_Free]

I don't know why, but reading this farce I had this vivid image of Frodo standing accused before the War Crimes tribunal while the jury listened attentively to Smeagol testifying with shrill desire, baited on by the Prosecuting Attorney to outbursts of delight by Sauron and Saruman.

And here is the cast that visualized before my eyes:

President Bush as Frodo
Hillary Clinton as Sauron
John McCain as Saruman
James Carville as Smeagol
Paul Begala as the Prosecuting Attorney
Dan Rather as the Jury Foreman
Wolf Blitzer as Juror #1
Peter Jennings as Juror #2
Barbara Streisand as Juror #3
Saddam Hussein as Juror #4
And Jim Jeffords as the Chief Justice presiding over all

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!

[galethus]

Dain Bramage: That confession was TOO FUNNY. I'm so glad I posted this story. ColdFury is now a must read site for me. Also - love the casting done by Freedom is Not Free.

I read the Silamarillion & the Lost Tales & all the rest . . .

But the basis point, of course, is that when good guys beat bad guys we all that lots of bad guys get blown to shit. (At least enough so that the good guys win, anyway). The last thing we need is some panywaistes in the Hague trying lord it over the victors after the victors did all the heavy lifting. If not for the good guy victors - USA - the pantywaistes in the Hague would all be goose-stepping & saying "Seig Heil", or be saluting the Hammer & Sickle, or some uniquely Dutch combo of the two).

Also, the ICC has no check. They presume to be above all laws and all countries.

Also, one of the most important aspects of capitalism that people forget is not so much freedom to do what you want, but freedom to leave if there's something better elsewhere. That is, competition for the whole damn system. If the Brits are taxing your pants off, you can go to the USA - or the Caribbean for that matter. Without competition, even systems formed with the best-of-motives eventually become oppressive. It may take a few years (or not) but eventually some asshole will go after every person in the USA who supports Israel - or Palestine - or whatever. The good thing about the USA is not just what is here, it's the fact that you can leave if you think it sucks. The World Court would be just as totalitarian as the old USSR because no one on Earth would be able to get away from it.

Thus spake Galethus -

[galethus]

Well, well. I see the Dark Lord himself is registered with Free Republic. Keeping an eye on us? (Pun intended). What is your next legal step, Sauron of Mordor?

[mhking]

[lowbridge]

bump

[HairOfTheDog]

Wanna move this over to the GI side so we can file it in the Hobbit Hole topic with all the others?

Would appreciate it!

[HairOfTheDog]

Thank you!

[Samwise]

The Middle-Earth Environmental Protection Agency has arrested Sam Gamgee for destroying the natural environment of Hobbiton by planting trees from Lothlorien.

Help! Anybody know a good lawyer?

[Samwise]

I think you want this link:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=9dd5283f2c0d3d4969942610809b13dc&threadid=104732

[ramdalesh]

Your do realize that when the war began, treaties broke down, passport photographs got ignored, and spies were mayan born, trained and deployed.
ksen

[ramdalesh]

Oh book of shadows
elotie', de ananeuvenrue
el heliothiniea...

o.k., that's enough.

Capt. Picardt...where's our boat

IEYIKES! war bloody allover everywhere...YEIOW

In more recent testimony...

[ramdalesh]

top reply in history!

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

mm-hmm, yes, yes, I see... please, continue, this is just fascinating to me.