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To: Pablo64
I'm 45, and most of my friends are of like age.
I can't think of anybody I know who didn't live together
before marriage, and I can only think of two couples
I know well who are divorced. Also, the studies you cite
are careful not to confuse causality with correlation,
about which there is no data other than anecdotal.
17 posted on 07/31/2002 5:41:52 AM PDT by Linda Liberty
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To: Linda Liberty
Your observations are, themselves, anecdotal, so take them for what they are worth. As to the cuasality, I think that if we are truly intellectually honest with ourselves we can come up with the answers. Part of the problem is that living together "as a test" is pre-programming yourself for failure in that, subconsciously, you are telling (programming) yourself that there is a "backdoor" out of this if things aren't to your liking. This kind of pre-programming makes it difficult later to stick through the problems and challenges that come in marriage. Please notice I didn't say impossible, just difficult. You've already trained yourself that there is a way out rather than going at it with the mindset that "this is it, no matter what, for better or worse, till parted by death".

My wife and I look at our marriage as absolutely final. Period. It's as if when we got married someone put us into this big steel room called marriage and then welded all the exits shut from the outside. We have mentally programmed ourselves that there is no option but to work out our problems. I believe (anecdotal evidence) that this has drastically reduced the number of problems that could have arose in our marriage. They were not problems because they did not have the option of being a problem!

I notice you didn't address the moral aspect either....?
29 posted on 07/31/2002 6:41:42 AM PDT by Pablo64
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