I love to go here for my complaint letters: http://hugin.sigusr1.org/~pakin/complaint
Here is one I had custom made:
I would like to stop Gov. Joe Gray Davis's encroachments on our heritage. Read on, gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. Gov. Davis's mercenaries have learned their scripts well, and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation. Far be it for me to discredit legitimate voices in the sectarianism debate. By toning down his ploys, many more people are exposed to his execrable message, convinced by his passion, and seduced by his simplistic answers to complex social problems. You can waste all your time arguing about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Or you can actually reveal the nature and activity of Gov. Davis's lickspittles and expose their inner contexts as well as their ultimate final aims. You decide. Even if I agreed that Gov. Davis's appalling credos were of paramount importance, it would still be the case that Gov. Davis ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person.
His refrains may sound comfortable and simple, but it must not be forgotten that his abominable-to-the-core, bookish ideologies can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having a mind consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance. And, more important, I must ask that Gov. Davis's allies preserve the peace. I know they'll never do that, so here's an alternate proposal: They should, at the very least, back off and quit trying to demonize my family and friends. Who could have guessed that Gov. Davis would redefine unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom? To put it another way, how much longer can we tolerate his lawless tactics before the whole country collectively throws up? To ask that question another way, where are the people who are willing to stand up and acknowledge that the idea of letting him trample over the very freedoms and rights that he claims to support is, in itself, brain-damaged? Whatever the answer, the biggest difference between me and Gov. Davis is that Gov. Davis wants to inspire a recrudescence of horny fatuity. I, on the other hand, want to rage, rage against the dying of the light. I don't wish to psychologize here, but his goofy, unbalanced politics are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of misoneism are blooming all around us.
To state it in stark and simple terms, Gov. Davis has been trying for some time to convince people that if he kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick. Don't believe his hype! Gov. Davis has just been offering that line as a means to muster enough force to dismantle national civil rights organizations by driving a wedge between the leaders and the rank-and-file members. His premise (that he is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends) is his morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Gov. Davis uses this disguised morality to support his rantings, thereby making his argument self-refuting. Perhaps Gov. Davis's ignorant attempts to debunk myths often lead to the perpetuation of them, but remember that he has been known to say that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. That notion is so immoral, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. One last thing: Gov. Joe Gray Davis has the brains of a house plant.