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Word For The Day, Tuesday 1/28/03
1/28/03

Posted on 01/28/2003 12:59:51 AM PST by Bella_Bru

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To: hobbes1
Coyote Ugly Sappho Alert!!
101 posted on 01/28/2003 10:41:16 AM PST by VRWCmember
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To: VRWCmember
don't the one on the left look like Chucky?
102 posted on 01/28/2003 10:42:27 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: Hegewisch Dupa
so which are you? amy or meagan?
103 posted on 01/28/2003 10:43:01 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: VRWCmember; camle
Remember Guys, only one face was visible, the other was ensconced deeply in the carpet.
104 posted on 01/28/2003 10:43:27 AM PST by hobbes1
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Unless of Course the ....Servicee was a fan of the wax....
105 posted on 01/28/2003 10:44:07 AM PST by hobbes1
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To: hobbes1
true, but both of them appear to be a tad shall we say "Beefy". Flabby would be another adjective...

kindaa like the pillsbury dough lesbo.
106 posted on 01/28/2003 10:45:42 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: camle
don't the one on the left look like Chucky?

If you were to wake up slightly hungover with your arm under the one on the left, you might risk waking her up to pull your arm out from under her and then run like the devil to get away. If you were to wake up slightly hungover with your arm under the one on the right, however, you would gnaw your own arm off at the shoulder rather than risk waking her up. That is "coyote ugly"

107 posted on 01/28/2003 10:46:32 AM PST by VRWCmember
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To: VRWCmember
PLEASE, i beg you boys, do not try THIS at home....
108 posted on 01/28/2003 10:47:48 AM PST by xsmommy (which of you works for the kissogram service...)
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To: camle; hobbes1; VRWCmember; Hegewisch Dupa
oh i am sorry. you are all engrossed in the sappho love set of the dept store. please, go on...
109 posted on 01/28/2003 10:49:01 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: Argh; maxwell; Bella_Bru; dubyaismypresident; All
Going to bed the other night I noticed that there were people in my shed stealing things.

I phoned the police but was told that there was nobody in the area to help. They said they would send somebody over as soon as possible.

I hung up. A minute later I rang again. 'Hello', I said. 'I called you a minute ago because I said there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now because I've shot them.'

Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: 'I thought you said you'd shot them.'

To which I replied: 'I thought you said there was no one available.'

110 posted on 01/28/2003 10:50:16 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: VRWCmember
OMG< LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
111 posted on 01/28/2003 10:51:04 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: VRWCmember
i remain extremely humbly grateful to the deity for the blessings of the most wonderful coquette in the whole wide world. therefore, I am highly unlikely (Thankfully) to wind up in either situation.

that said, the one on the right would probably not chase you, run you down, and gnaw off your anatomy. Chucky seems to have a mianical grin that looks rather chilling
112 posted on 01/28/2003 10:51:33 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: xsmommy
PLEASE, i beg you boys, do not try THIS at home....

Where've you been!! Go back and re-read from post #72.

113 posted on 01/28/2003 10:51:58 AM PST by VRWCmember
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To: xsmommy
i beleive that I sent that to you earlier. i was wondering where you were at that time, and why you were so happy that day, is all...
114 posted on 01/28/2003 10:52:45 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: xsmommy; RikaStrom; hobbes1
Mark Steyn's latest.
115 posted on 01/28/2003 10:53:31 AM PST by Argh
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To: VRWCmember
i had a meeting, i am sorry i didn't read every word that transpired in my absence. told you i was slow on the uptake today!
116 posted on 01/28/2003 10:53:36 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: camle
i have no idea why i am associated with stories about missing parts, mangled parts, and any other sort of parts. i was busy. good to know that you guys have everything covered when i am necessarily absent.
117 posted on 01/28/2003 10:54:41 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: MeeknMing
Last time I had trespassers (several years ago), I phoned the PD. they were on about something when I hollered "Wake up kid, go get me the Sporter and the night scope".

I had two carloads of cops at the door within 30 seconds. They caught the miscreants, who were the neighbor's kids, and read tham the riot act, etc.

prosecution wasn't necessary. in fact it probably did some good. one of tthe little brats came over the other day to tell me that one of the cats was sick. He led me to where the beast was, ans we took it to the vet. both are fine now, and the kids all wave at me. (with ALL fingers)
118 posted on 01/28/2003 10:56:28 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: xsmommy
thank you (I think) now if you'll forgive me, I have to go take a Sarandon. be back soon
119 posted on 01/28/2003 10:57:44 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: camle
, go get me the Sporter and the night scope

nice attention-getting phrase...

120 posted on 01/28/2003 11:00:05 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: Argh; maxwell; Bella_Bru; dubyaismypresident; All
Don't mess with this lady.

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

121 posted on 01/28/2003 11:00:25 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: Hegewisch Dupa
hey are you back from lunch yet, ya Polack?
122 posted on 01/28/2003 11:00:43 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: All
Too Late.

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2:00 a.m.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture," the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man. "She will be wanting her car back that I left on the side of the road."

123 posted on 01/28/2003 11:00:44 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: All
Too Late.

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2:00 a.m.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture," the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man. "She will be wanting her car back that I left on the side of the road."

124 posted on 01/28/2003 11:00:45 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: Bella_Bru
I'm doing fairly well.... lots of pre-tax season things to do, though. In fact, I'm off to Office Depot right now.

[So...do I get a grade, or what?]

125 posted on 01/28/2003 11:01:23 AM PST by TheGrimReaper (I do NOT brake for socialists.)
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To: MeeknMing; Argh; maxwell; Bella_Bru; dubyaismypresident; All
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying:
"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager.

The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.

By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded. He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face, and said, "Meow."

126 posted on 01/28/2003 11:01:23 AM PST by VRWCmember
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To: MeeknMing
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

NYUK NYUK NYUK...

It was the first day of school for the kindergarten class. As the teacher walked in the classroom, she noticed something was written on the chalkboard: T T T 1A.

She looked at the children and said, "Who wrote this?" Little Keith raises his hand and says, "I did, teacher."

"Well, what does that mean, Keith?" asked the teacher. Keith answers, "It means, 'To The Teacher 1 Apple,'" and with that, he gave the teacher an apple. "Very good," says the teacher, "Thank You."

The next morning, the teacher walks in the classroom, and notices,once again, something written on the board. This time the chalkboard reads: T T T 1O.

She asked the children, "Who wrote this?" Then little Bobby answers,"I did, teacher." The teacher says, "Well, Bobby, what does that mean?" Bobby says, "It means, 'To The Teacher 1 Orange,'" and he gives the teacher an orange. "Very nice, Bobby, thank you", said the teacher.

The next morning, she walks in the classroom, and she noticed on the board; F U C K 1 T

Flabbergasted, the teacher exclaimed, "WHO WROTE THIS!!" Then little Juanito raises his hand and says, "I did, teacher."Angrily, the teacher asks, "Well, what does this mean, Juanito?!?"

"It means, 'From Us Chicano Kids 1 Tamale.'"

127 posted on 01/28/2003 11:05:20 AM PST by maxwell (Well I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation...)
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To: maxwell
ROTFL.....
128 posted on 01/28/2003 11:09:10 AM PST by hobbes1
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To: maxwell
did i tell you guys that xsbrownie was in the backseat of the van while i was driving and asked me "mommy, what does F*ck off mean"? i whippped my head around and said WHAT???? she said someone wrote WASH ME on the truck in front of us and FUCK OFF, what does it mean? YIKES! i said, it's a bad word, forget you saw it!
129 posted on 01/28/2003 11:09:22 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: xsmommy
[snortle] Tell her it's an ancient Hawaiian salutation...
130 posted on 01/28/2003 11:14:42 AM PST by maxwell (Well I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation...)
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To: maxwell
i'm just hoping that it was not discussed in the 2d grade class at St James the following day....
131 posted on 01/28/2003 11:15:47 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: xsmommy
when we got rear ended by the drunk last spring, I had the cops on the cell phone and they were giving me the usual stalling, I finally said "Either you come take this lunatic down, or I will"

they were on scene in seconds - seven carloads. Still it took four of them to cuff&stuff her
132 posted on 01/28/2003 11:18:11 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: All
...sorry 'bout that double post.
133 posted on 01/28/2003 11:18:22 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: xsmommy
i'm just hoping that it was not discussed in the 2d grade class at St James the following day....

Surely that can't be nearly as embarrassing as the "Mommy's neat Hello Kitty Toy" discussion...

134 posted on 01/28/2003 11:29:57 AM PST by hobbes1
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To: hobbes1
didn't hear that one, sorry
135 posted on 01/28/2003 11:35:28 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: xsmommy
Ooohhhh.....I'm telling the Admin Mod...
136 posted on 01/28/2003 11:38:40 AM PST by hobbes1
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To: hobbes1
tattletale!
137 posted on 01/28/2003 11:39:28 AM PST by xsmommy
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To: xsmommy
Hey, I left out the part about the Quart of Scotch and Six pack of batteries, for the Hello Kitty....
138 posted on 01/28/2003 11:40:07 AM PST by hobbes1
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To: xsmommy
Amazing how it sounds when someone ELSE Tattles, eh XS?
139 posted on 01/28/2003 11:44:38 AM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: MeeknMing
The crowd around the deportment store was also looking for the "girls'" double post.

(But I wonder. Were those two ever really girls?)
140 posted on 01/28/2003 12:05:02 PM PST by Robert A. Cook, PE (I really want to kill that D**M ostrich..... Why can't we donate our taxes to FR, vice the IRS?)
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To: xsmommy
well yes, I am now. Jeez - be more of a mommy. Now I have to check in?
141 posted on 01/28/2003 12:05:41 PM PST by Hegewisch Dupa (Sure - they ain't the hottest. Who here wouldn't watch?)
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To: TheGrimReaper
It wasn't too early for Latin, but it was way to early for HER!

Hiya, Grimmy. Been out and about lately. Haven't had time for WFTD!

142 posted on 01/28/2003 12:14:06 PM PST by Slip18
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To: Slip18
And WFTD has been the poorer for it : (
143 posted on 01/28/2003 12:15:09 PM PST by hobbes1
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To: Slip18
I can take my black armband off now!
144 posted on 01/28/2003 12:15:49 PM PST by Hegewisch Dupa
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To: camle
Nice ending...
145 posted on 01/28/2003 12:18:07 PM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: Hegewisch Dupa
I can take my black armband off now!

Why, did they Free Fry Mumia ?

146 posted on 01/28/2003 12:19:20 PM PST by hobbes1
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To: MeeknMing; xsmommy
hee hee! got her that time, did't I?
147 posted on 01/28/2003 12:19:29 PM PST by camle (Camle pox?!?!? I hope there's a vaccine!)
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To: VRWCmember
lol !
148 posted on 01/28/2003 12:21:10 PM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: maxwell
lol !
149 posted on 01/28/2003 12:23:31 PM PST by MeekOneGOP (9 out of 10 Republicans agree: Bush IS a Genius !!)
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To: Slip18
Haven't had time for WFTD!

Then you have a lot of make-up work to do.
[see me after class]
8-)

150 posted on 01/28/2003 1:10:24 PM PST by TheGrimReaper (Major corporal punishment in private is still allowed here at WFTD!)
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