Skip to comments.
Dan Rather Airs Segment Tonight On Ralph Nader Sex Scandal
American Colonoscopy Review, September, 2004 Issue
Posted on 09/14/2004 5:48:11 PM PDT by MrFine
CBS Anchorman, Dan Rather has exposed papers showing Reform Party candidate Ralph Nader was paid for a nude photo spread on this weeks segment of 60 minutes.
KEYWORDS: dan; humor; lampoon; napalminthemorning; rather; retard; satire
CBS Anchorman, Dan Rather has exposed papers showing Reform Party candidate Ralph Nader was paid for a nude photo spread on this weeks segment of 60 minutes. He will be displaying digitally blurred photos of Mr. Nader's photos as well as a typed release of rights contract that was verified by noted Alzheimers victim and CBS document analyst, Kitty Kelly. Mr. Rather was quoted as saying "Now that we squished ol'dubya like a grasshopper on a windshield in Kansas, lets really show those pajama wearing blogeers how much muscle the REAL media has. This'll make Kerry more popular than a cute cousin with allher teeth at a family reunion in Hope, Arkansas." American Colonoscopy Review, (ACR) submitted the documents to our document verification analyst, Dr. Edwina Bileslip. Dr. Bilesnag expresses grave concerns about the photos authenticity and the contract as well. "I am fairly certain that Mr. Nader does not have pectorals like Vin Diesel, He is much more likely to have man-breasts like Michael Moore." As such, we must therefore conclude that once again, Dan Rather has colored the truth with his view of reality which to this reporter is more similar to the doped up protesters seen outside Madison Square Garden last week.
posted on 09/14/2004 5:48:11 PM PDT
Ralph Nader had sex? LOL!
This can only help Nader's ratings
posted on 09/14/2004 5:49:43 PM PDT
Is this for real? Has the National Enquirer taken over CBS?
posted on 09/14/2004 5:52:00 PM PDT
How scandalous is asexual reproduction?
Oh, I see.
I thought they were going to pay Nader to pose nude on 60 Minutes.
Not so, huh?
posted on 09/14/2004 5:53:26 PM PDT
(We childproofed our home, but they are still getting in)
"Ralph Nader had sex? LOL!"
THat's what I was thinkin' LOL!
posted on 09/14/2004 5:53:57 PM PDT
This can only help Nader's ratings
this scandal can only elevate him a notch in the eyes of the dim-base.
If it can be proven true, make it two notches.
posted on 09/14/2004 5:54:19 PM PDT
I heard he had sex in the back of a Corvair
God help me. You should put a warning label on post like this. This is traumatizing. I can only hope that it's traumatizing enough to cause my subconscious to quickly block the nauseating image that's now seared in my mind.
posted on 09/14/2004 5:55:52 PM PDT
(The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action)
There have been rumors for several years that the owners of the broadcast networks have all wanted to kill their news divisions, and keep only the magazine shows like 60 minutes that make a buck, and put them in the entertainment division.
They have all been too chicken to do it because of the uproar in congress and possible loss of broadcast licenses by their owned and operated stations.
Viacom, owner of CBS may be quietly encouraging the news department to hang tough.
Old Dan probably thinks it is corporate giving him the backing he deserves.
Viacom knows Dan is gonna make a scandal big enough to give them an excuse to pull the plug.
posted on 09/14/2004 5:56:16 PM PDT
by Servant of the 9
(We are the Hegemon. We can do anything we damned well please.)
Even if this post were true - I'll go out on a limb here and say it's a joke - there is absolutely no way the CBS suits would let Rather, of all people, present it.
posted on 09/14/2004 5:56:49 PM PDT
by Lonesome in Massachussets
(Islam: Men defend most violently, not what they know to be true, but what they fear may be false.)
Dan 'Otter' Rather on Forgerygate:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules or took a few liberties with the truth -- we did. But you can't hold a whole broadcast news division responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals.
For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole broadcast system? And if the whole broadcast system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our public communication institutions in general?
I put it to you ... isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?
Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!"
posted on 09/14/2004 5:57:00 PM PDT
("Oyez, oyez! All rise for the Honorable Chief Justice... Hillary Rodham Clinton ")
I assume he reported the story in the hope that it would reduce Nader's ratings. You are right. I doubt that Nader's support gives a hoot whether he had sex with a dog. Dan Rather making a story of a Nader sex scandal is likely to make a certain portion of the voting public mad, and inevitably draw those votes to Nader.
Might want to put a (Humor) or (Satire) tag with your title...you'd be surprised what people might take as straight news otherwise. ;)
On a more serious note, how long until the Dems start gay baiting Nader again?
Even if the documents are fake, the questions are very important and must be answered!
posted on 09/14/2004 5:59:03 PM PDT
(With what? Spitballs!?!)
posted on 09/14/2004 5:59:37 PM PDT
(Duty, Honor, Country. What else needs to be said?)
That was my initial response too.
posted on 09/14/2004 5:59:44 PM PDT
(Oh...am I supposed to read the article???)
The Enquirer covered the Lewinsky scandal long before CBiaS FRAUDcasting network did, and did a more extensive and better job of it. I think you ought to stop insulting them - you might get sued.
posted on 09/14/2004 6:00:31 PM PDT
((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
Do we really want to know that Nader had sex? This is way too much information.
Bad mental image. my poor therapist...
posted on 09/14/2004 6:02:08 PM PDT
How scandalous is asexual reproduction?"
It's not about asexual reproduction in reality, it about mitotic cloning.
To: Unknown Freeper
I wasn't aware Nader had a gender, let alone that he would be able to find someone to have sex with him.
posted on 09/14/2004 6:03:27 PM PDT
(Fill in the blank)
"we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!"
posted on 09/14/2004 6:05:13 PM PDT
(Heinz Kerry: 57 positions on any issue)
I shall require counseling now to relieve myself of the trauma resulting from reading the subject line. Where should I send the bill?
posted on 09/14/2004 6:05:31 PM PDT
(A government big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away. ~ Goldwater)
I've always suspected that Nader screwed a bumper on a
posted on 09/14/2004 6:11:08 PM PDT
(If you're lurking here from DU (Democrats unglued), I trust this post will make you sick)
"Even if the documents are fake, the questions are very important and must be answered!"
It doesn't matter that there's flimsy evidence to support the charges, it the "seriousness of the charges" themselves that makes this a deserving investigation. (/sarcasm>
"CBS Anchorman, Dan Rather has exposed papers showing Reform Party candidate Ralph Nader was paid for a nude photo spread on this weeks segment of 60 minutes."
'I can state unequivocally that at no time did I ever pose for a nude photo spread on '60 minutes.'
posted on 09/14/2004 6:21:45 PM PDT
( "Ne'er a Scrooge or a Patsy be")
lol...you are very clever.
posted on 09/14/2004 6:38:22 PM PDT
Is this for real? Has the National Enquirer taken over CBS?
Why are you denigrating the National Enquirer by comparing them to CBS?
LOL Who would pay? I'm next!!!!!
posted on 09/16/2004 2:44:37 AM PDT
Operation Change the Subject has entered the next phase. Dan Rather I don't want to hear from you anymore until you address the big elephant in the room, your TANG report with many questions left unanswered. Besides, who cares about Ralph. This might even get him a few votes.
It's a shame the subjects the "main stream media" reports. Swift Boats, National Guard and other "got ya" type stories. Remember the week the press chased a Kerry intern to see if there was a sex scandal. Now three days of Kitty Kelly on a major morning show. How about reporting the candidates positions on taxes, crime, the size of government, immigration, foreign policy a little deeper than the first sound cut or talking point.
I guess I'm spouting.
posted on 09/16/2004 5:21:28 PM PDT
(John Kerry will lie to me during the campaign, but he won't once he's president?)
To: MrFine; ValerieUSA; blam; FairOpinion; Ernest_at_the_Beach
Ralph Nader was paid for a nude photo spread on this weeks segment of 60 minutes Don't let your kids see that. [rimshot!]
I wonder how much CBS pays for something like that? I could use some cash. [rimshot!]
Gosh... bash Bush with phony "documents"... bash Nader, widely reviled by partisan Dims as a spoiler in Florida... no bias at CBS, or should I say "CBiaS".
George W. Bush will be reelected by a margin of at least ten per cent
posted on 09/27/2004 9:04:40 AM PDT
("All I have seen teaches me trust the Creator for all I have not seen." -- Emerson)
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson