Posted on 05/09/2005 3:16:57 AM PDT by A Balrog of Morgoth
The runaway bride's story has captured the nation's attention. While extreme, it seems that she strikes a chord in all of us -- how do we distinguish between natural pre-wedding jitters and a nuptial change of heart?
Whether the runaway bride's cold feet were in response to the looming pressure of a 600-person wedding extravaganza, or a deeper concern about the marriage itself, remains to be seen. Her forgiving fiance has given back the ring, but it's going to take more than a diamond to make this couple last forever.
snip----
(Excerpt) Read more at suntimes.com ...
I'm thinking that a "sex therapist" is the last thing they need to add to this circus, but that's just me.
Mods, I believe this is a candidate for the Smoky Backroom.
cajungirl, if you would kindly ping the interested parties.
(Denny Crane: "Sometimes you can only look for answers from God and failing that... and Fox News".)
Where in this marrriage would there be a normal person. I think he's just less wacky than she is.
Where in this marrriage would there be a normal person. I think he's just less wacky than she is.
Any reasonable adult understands that if a bride to be vanishes four days before their lavish wedding, official society and the friends/family will respond appropriately with aggressive efforts to find and save her from potential danger. This is especially true if that person vanishes without her purse and charge cards, and if she leaves behind her sheared off hair.
If this vanished person involuntarily vanished, either as a result of a medical problem impairing her consciousness, mental retardation, or as a result of foul play, there is no question that she incurs no debt or obligation of any kind to anyone involved. In the case however of a conscious planned decision to vanish [she had purchased her bus ticket days before, and was able to navigate her way to Nevada without injury], the question arises as to what debts or obligations she has thereby incurred.
There are two classes of potential debts that a person owes as a result of a planned vanishing act days before a lavish wedding. The first debt is emotional/familial. We as responsible adults realize that our acts impinge on other people who care about us. When we subject those people to days of heartache, wondering what happened and fearing the worse, we have injured them to a considerable extent. However, that debt is a private matter between the person and those she injured. A responsible adult must face those she injured, and strive to make amends. This again is a private matter, and the rest of society must recognize that our intrusion into the matter can be best classified as gossip; of course, the tabloids and entertainment magazines will pursue the issue enthusiastically, but the only interest this aspect of the case should actually have would be as an instructive matter for our children. We can in the privacy of our own homes point out to our children how this thoughtless and heartless behavior affected those people who were no doubt out of their minds with grief for days, and reinforce to our family how important it is to be kind and considerate to those who care for us; the matter should, for us, end there.
The second class of debt that is owed is more complex. An adult must recognize that official society will respond to a family reporting this disappearance, and that the "authorities" will have to respond. Should those authorities NOT respond, and she be found dead afterwards, a large variety of adverse legal/financial/employment consequences would be expected. The police response to the inappropriate disappearance incurred two classes of debt. First of all, it diverted resources away from other items potentially requiring police intervention. This issue in and of itself is not financial, but moral; she incurs an ethical obligation to at the least apologize to her community, and perhaps also to make amends by some sort of community service. However, as in the case of her debt to friends/family, the payment of this debt cannot be coerced or imposed upon her; it is a voluntary moral/ethical act of repayment and perhaps contrition. Her personal response to these obligations is a matter of integrity and character. The second debt to the community is a financial one. The dedication of resources to her search consumed financial resources. Overtime itself is expensive, as is the wear and tear on vehicles, gasoline use, etc. Personnel needed to be fed and perhaps housed. The issue therefore comes down to the fact that taxpayer money was expended in a search for a person who staged a voluntary disappearance days before a lavish wedding. Since any reasonable adult knows that a search will ensue, she is therefore responsible for that financial debt. She has caused DAMAGE to the community as a result of a voluntary irresponsible act; she, and not the community, should be obligated to financially pay for the result of her foolishness.
More like a sociopath and a full bore goob....and even a sociopath can realize that the guy she's hooked up with is a loser. From what I've seen of Mason when he's been on the tube, if I had been her, I would have run too.....but a WHOLE lot earlier! As for her "abduction" story....make her pay restitution, spend a few nights in county lock-up, and then kindly invite her to find a guy who won't make her run for the hills. As for him, get him a better haircut, take him to Hooters, and tell him he needs to LIGHTEN THE HELL UP! If he's over 30 and hasn't had sex, that's not a "good boy," that's just sad....give him fifty bucks, and tell him to find a girl and learn something.
Sheesh....those two were a match made a few floors lower than Heaven....
>>The second debt to the community is a financial one. The dedication of resources to her search consumed financial resources. <<
Agreed but when did that debt start?
One of the concerns about the National Identity card is that we don't want to wind up in a situation where we can't travel freely in our own country.
So I would argue she is completely entitled to leave abruptly.
The debt starts, I think the moment she made a false police report. That's when she crossed the line from what is rude/mean/cruel into what is illegal and the point at which fiancial liabilty should begin.
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