Posted on 07/02/2005 10:45:23 AM PDT by QwertyKPH
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Blogging The Fifth Nail
Friday, May 13, 2005
Still Confused
Does anything matter? My mother is crying right now, because her son is in trouble again. She tried to raise a good son, and she knows her son has a good heart, so why does he do these things? She is probably more hurt and confused than me. Does it matter? It hurts me to know these things, but DOES IT MATTER??? A hundred years from now, all my mothers pain will be forgotten, and other mothers will cry for there sons. A million years from now there probably won't be any mothers (at least not like we know). I have feelings, in fact I think I must be more sensitive than most people because I seem to feel more than they do, at least more than what they openly express. I feel for the starving children and families in the world, others say, "Oh, that's too bad, but I can't do anything so..." I wish I could be more honest about my feelings, but those demons made sure I'd never be able to do that. I might not know if it matters, but just in case, I am working on an encrypted journal that is hundreds of times more frank than this blog could ever be (that's why I keep it encrypted). I figure in 30 years or more we will have the technology to easily crack the encryption (currently very un-crackable, PGP) and then the world will know who I really was, and what I really did, and what I really thought. Also, maybe then they will understand that despite my actions, I'm not a bad person, I just have a disease contracted from society, and it hurts a lot. I hope to complete this journal before I die (soon) or turn myself in (I still might do that, I think it is the right thing, but of course, I'm not sure). Speak of being sure; I wish I could be sure about my thoughts. But right now the only thing I'm sure about is that I'm sure about nothing. It is not a good position to be in considering my circumstances (being a felony fugitive and all).
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The Demons Have Taken Over
I have been asking God to help defeat the demons. In fact, last night I was on my knees begging him, crying out loud to him, to help me. He didn't answer, again. The problem is I am loosing my religion. I don't accept anything at face value, not even my own thoughts. So when I start having religious convictions I question the source. And in my current situation I figure I am under a lot of stress, and there are perfectly natural human mechanisms that account for all religious experiences. The demons (if that's what they/it are/is--I use the term for mere convenience) have convinced me that I should at least question my religious beliefs, (this makes sense, otherwise I would believe anything) and that is how they got the key to the dungeon, and trapped me inside. To be more specific, I am scared, alone, and confused, and my reaction is to strike out toward the perceived source of my misery, society. My intent is to harm society as much as I can, then die. As for the "Happy Joe" (Jet), well he was just a dream. The bogeyman was alive and happy long before Happy Joe. I was in prison for over 18 years, since the age of 17. As an adult all I knew was the oppression of incarceration. All those years I dreamed of getting out...And getting even. Instead, I got out and I got even, but did not get caught. So, I got even again, and again did not get caught. So, I figured, well, I got even twice (actually more, but that's here nor there), even if I'm the only one who knows, so now what? Well that was when the "Happy Joe" dream started. I met a bunch of really great people, the kind of people I didn't even know existed, but here they were, bunches of them, my neighbors, my landlords, my professors, my coworkers, and they were all good people, who were willing to give me a chance despite my past. They were willing to accept me and be my friend, something that was new for me, having been betrayed by many "friends" and even my own family. So, I tried to make it work. But the problem was those demons. The ones who "got even" for me. They kept reminding me that if my new "friends" knew about them (and what they, I, had done to even), then so much for their friendship. So, "Happy Joe" was just dreaming, or pretending to be happy.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Wrestling With Demons
Friday, April 15, 2005
The Boogyman Will Get Ya
 So, I've been accused of molesting a little boy. Those close to me know I didn't do it of course, how could I, I'm not even a pedophile. Well, I'm not a psychopath either, I feel the full force and pain of everyone I have ever hurt, but that doesn't stop me from doing what I need to do. Ultimately my feelings don't matter, I learned that in prison. I have to carry out my orders or a lot worse than just me dying could happen.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Bohemian Underground is Concieved
Friday, April 01, 2005
Here We Go Again...
Visit From Office Friendly
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Teaching The World To Sing
 Each time I re-read what I wrote in Key West I understand a little more, and realize more what God has been trying to tell me for the longest time, and what I have been wanting to know for just as long. For instance, just now I realized the answer to a question I've been asking myself for years: What can I do to get people to realize how everything is connected? Well, I just found the answer hidden in my own ponderings from that Sunny Sunday morning: Any attempt to make the world a better place imediately and directly interfers with God's Harmonic intentions. All answers must come in there own time, and God has the timing already figured out according to reasons infinitely beyond my own ability to reason. So, there is nothing that I "can do," but instead I must continue to strive to give-in to God's Will, because it is through this "non-doing" that his Will can be seen. I'm growing a lot lately faster than I want at times.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Who's Gonna Save Me?
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Micro-Vacation
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
What Friends Are For
Monday, February 28, 2005
� IN-FORUM � - bas
Thursday, February 24, 2005
� IN-FORUM � bas
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Love Thy Enemy
Monday, February 21, 2005
No Doubt
Thursday, February 17, 2005
What Jesus Really Said Was...
Criminals Are Victims Too
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Illusive Invention
 I realized yesterday that many of the inventions that we take for granted (transistors, light bulbs, telephone, etc...) were invented by individuals such that if they had not come along we may not have ever known about their inventions and the world would be quite a different place. Then I realized, there must be thousands of inventions that have not been invented that could have had similar importance in our world. I wonder what they could have been?
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  According to myth gypsies crafted five nails for Christ's execution not four. The fifth nail was meant to pierce his heart, but the gypsies hid the fifth nail from the roman soldiers. In some stories the gypsies were punished by God for prolonging Christ’s suffering, and in others they were rewarded for attempting to protect him. The fifth nail is said to have been a real religious artifact with miraculous powers. Its existence today is somewhat questionable, unless you consider the metaphor.
MONTHLY ARCHIVES
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I copied this one before it was pulled. So much of his other sites has been disabled as news is breaking. I thought I should put this up before its pulled too.
"My mother is crying right now, because her son is in trouble again. She tried to raise a good son, and she knows her son has a good heart, so why does he do these things?"
Her son does those things because he has an incurable disease that unfortunately leaves him alive and horribly scars others.
Thank you. It's odd to read this guy preaching to us. Is he still alive? I'm praying for him. But at the same time, he needs to be removed from our society as a threat. I do wish, however, he would seek out a deliverance minister. That's his only hope. He might not like this hard truth: it should be society's duty to hunt him down and end his life, if he is, in fact, molesting kids.
I hope you are keeping his postings in hard drive, just to be safe. It's important historically. Good work!
I've been reading his blog this afternoon, until it started crashing my computer. This guy is sick, sick, sick. I'm curious about the "encrypted" blog he mentioned. I hope it's found and cracked. Easily. Stuff like this needs to be out there -- parents can take their guard down too easily.
We've had to deal with this type of thing in our family, and all I can think when I look at this guy is, "Castration is too easy."
I would also be curious to know if the authorities will be checking into any potential crimes he may have committed in Key West, as he mentioned a mini vacation there.
I copied much of it too... just in case:
http://bloggingthefifthnail.blogspot.com
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