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2nd-hand flatulence prompts new butts-out policy
WorldNetDaily.com ^ | March 26, 2007

Posted on 04/02/2007 12:13:19 PM PDT by Condor 63

Scotland's ban on smoking in pubs has backfired, so to speak, on a regular customer whose constant habit of breaking wind has now resulted in his expulsion from his favorite watering hole.

Stewart Laidlaw, 35, is being barred from Thirsty Kirsty's in Dunfermline, Fife, for failing to control his flatulence.

"No one could smell anything when the pub was full of cigarette smoke," Laidlaw told Wales on Sunday. "I never used to complain about the smell of their cigarette smoke, but now everyone complains about me. It's just a natural thing. What can I do about it? I must be the first person in the country to get banned from a pub for passing wind. But it's not a title I want. I certainly don't see it as funny."

(Excerpt) Read more at worldnetdaily.com ...


TOPICS: Heated Discussion
KEYWORDS: biologicalwarfare; flatulence; rumptrumpet
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Clearly, this one can only go in the Smoky Backroom...
1 posted on 04/02/2007 12:13:21 PM PDT by Condor 63
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To: Condor 63
"I certainly don't see it as funny."

Well, it is.

2 posted on 04/02/2007 12:15:40 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Enoch Powell was right.)
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To: Condor 63

According to Yaroslav Hasek, one mr. Enom managed to pass the wind so energetically as to stop the pendulum on a grandfather clock. And since that time in his pub he was known as "fart Enom", but was not thrown out.


3 posted on 04/02/2007 12:18:02 PM PDT by GSlob
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To: Condor 63; martin_fierro; EveningStar

He should sue the bean industry.


4 posted on 04/02/2007 12:26:06 PM PDT by BJClinton (Gore/Nader 2008!)
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To: Condor 63

5 posted on 04/02/2007 12:33:47 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Marechal
I think Laura Ingraham missed a big opportunity not to have featured this story on her "power to the people" segment.

Then again, she may have. I scrounged up another FR thread on the plight of poor Mr. Laidlaw with a link to the original source:

Gone With His Wind


6 posted on 04/02/2007 12:38:29 PM PDT by Condor 63
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To: BJClinton; al baby; Allegra; Auntbee; Dashing Dasher; dfwddr; exile; feinswinesuksass; ...
Tard ping

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

7 posted on 04/02/2007 1:10:31 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: ErnBatavia; wazoo1031

Over here...


8 posted on 04/02/2007 1:18:30 PM PDT by Allegra (Hey! Quiet Down Out There!)
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To: EveningStar

9 posted on 04/02/2007 1:18:37 PM PDT by JRios1968 (Tagline wanted...inquire within)
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To: Condor 63
Public farters are a huge problem where I live. You can't just go around blowing everyone else's hair back and not expect some outrage in return.
10 posted on 04/02/2007 1:28:47 PM PDT by Jaysun (I took one look at her unfashionable eyebrows and thought to myself, "she's literally crazy.")
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To: Jaysun
Public farters are a huge problem where I live...

[flings up hand] ...guilty... [stares at floor]

11 posted on 04/02/2007 1:31:36 PM PDT by Oberon (What does it take to make government shrink?)
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To: JRios1968
Take that!
12 posted on 04/02/2007 1:38:23 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: pax_et_bonum; TheMom; Eaker; Xenalyte; Bacon Man; Hap

Ping!


13 posted on 04/02/2007 1:45:22 PM PDT by Allegra (Hey! Quiet Down Out There!)
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To: EveningStar

Oh, yeah?

14 posted on 04/02/2007 1:46:13 PM PDT by JRios1968 (Tagline wanted...inquire within)
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To: Jaysun

When you work in cubicle land, you DO NOT get the Bean Burrito Especial from Taco Bell for your lunch.


15 posted on 04/02/2007 1:47:50 PM PDT by dirtboy (Duncan Hunter 08/But Fred would also be great)
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To: Oberon
[flings up hand] ...guilty... [stares at floor] Remember that guy you left laying on the ground, his eyebrows singed, at the airport in Charlotte? It was me. Can't you eat some fennel seeds or put a cork in it or something? And what if there had been an open flame somewhere nearby? We might have all been killed.
16 posted on 04/02/2007 1:49:21 PM PDT by Jaysun (I took one look at her unfashionable eyebrows and thought to myself, "she's literally crazy.")
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To: dirtboy
When you work in cubicle land, you DO NOT get the Bean Burrito Especial from Taco Bell for your lunch.

And if you do you should be made to wear a charcoal lined diaper or something.
17 posted on 04/02/2007 1:50:40 PM PDT by Jaysun (I took one look at her unfashionable eyebrows and thought to myself, "she's literally crazy.")
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To: Condor 63
It was the dog. Honest.



OK, I don't actually own a dog...

18 posted on 04/02/2007 1:53:55 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Jaysun
And if you do you should be made to wear a charcoal lined diaper or something.

All my cubicle neighbors listen to their ipods while working, so they never hear it coming or know where it came from.

19 posted on 04/02/2007 1:53:59 PM PDT by dirtboy (Duncan Hunter 08/But Fred would also be great)
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To: dirtboy
All my cubicle neighbors listen to their ipods while working, so they never hear it coming or know where it came from.

That's cruel, the equivalent of dropping mustard gas on a jungle village.
20 posted on 04/02/2007 2:01:55 PM PDT by Jaysun (I took one look at her unfashionable eyebrows and thought to myself, "she's literally crazy.")
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To: Jaysun

I had to destroy the cubicle to save it...


21 posted on 04/02/2007 2:03:16 PM PDT by dirtboy (Duncan Hunter 08/But Fred would also be great)
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To: Jaysun
"Public farters are a huge problem where I live."
You are absolutely correct. They should be privatized, as everyone knows that private farters are more efficient and deliver WAY more bang for the buck.
22 posted on 04/02/2007 2:04:10 PM PDT by GSlob
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To: dirtboy
I had to destroy the cubicle to save it...

In that case it was reasonable and called for. I apologize for second guessing you.
23 posted on 04/02/2007 2:15:29 PM PDT by Jaysun (I took one look at her unfashionable eyebrows and thought to myself, "she's literally crazy.")
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To: GSlob
You are absolutely correct. They should be privatized, as everyone knows that private farters are more efficient and deliver WAY more bang for the buck.

And with way less sh*t.
24 posted on 04/02/2007 2:16:50 PM PDT by Jaysun (I took one look at her unfashionable eyebrows and thought to myself, "she's literally crazy.")
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To: Allegra; humblegunner


A picture of the perp . . . I ask y'all, is he not the human version of the Dread Boston Salty?
25 posted on 04/02/2007 2:31:11 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: dirtboy
When you work in cubicle land, you DO NOT get the Bean Burrito Especial from Taco Bell for your lunch.

You do if you're a sadistic bitch like me . . . but I've said too much.
26 posted on 04/02/2007 2:32:27 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: Allegra; pax_et_bonum

Reminder to self: Do not go into Thirsty Kirsty’s in Dunfermline, Fife and practice newest learned skill.


27 posted on 04/02/2007 2:59:02 PM PDT by TheMom (Dix, TexasCowboy and Flyer all now live in the next best place to Texas . . . Heaven!)
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To: TheMom; Allegra

Yes, but they might have let him stay if he were as adorable as we are.

;-)


28 posted on 04/02/2007 4:53:49 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (I will always love you, Flyer.)
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To: Xenalyte

Salty always smiles, otherwise they could be brothers!


29 posted on 04/02/2007 5:07:29 PM PDT by humblegunner (?)
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To: humblegunner

He always smiles! Especially when he’s giving you something . . . as a gift.


30 posted on 04/02/2007 5:09:54 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: Allegra; wazoo1031

Woa! Tooter was just a teaser...


31 posted on 04/02/2007 6:39:55 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
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To: Xenalyte
Walleyed Pike...

32 posted on 04/02/2007 6:44:48 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
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To: JRios1968
Oh, yeah?

Oooooooh yeah!

33 posted on 04/02/2007 6:58:24 PM PDT by uglybiker (AU-TO-MO-BEEEEEEEL?!!)
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To: TheMom; pax_et_bonum
Reminder to self: Do not go into Thirsty Kirsty’s in Dunfermline, Fife and practice newest learned skill.

But Nick's, on the other hand, encourages that sort of thing. ;-)

34 posted on 04/02/2007 8:34:28 PM PDT by Allegra (Hey! Quiet Down Out There!)
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To: Allegra; TheMom

It’s places like Nick’s that keep us civilized.

:-)


35 posted on 04/02/2007 9:48:27 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (I will always love you, Flyer.)
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To: Condor 63
His pastor said it wasn't a sin...


36 posted on 04/03/2007 10:07:43 AM PDT by rock_lobsta (Offending liberals since 1993)
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To: Condor 63; EveningStar; JRios1968; nuke rocketeer; Allegra; dirtboy; PBRSTREETGANG
Mr. Silent Gas Passer
37 posted on 04/03/2007 7:26:43 PM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: Condor 63

38 posted on 04/03/2007 7:57:00 PM PDT by Rb ver. 2.0 (A day in the country is better than a week in town.)
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To: Condor 63

My boss gave me this piece of wisdom just the other day -

Never trust a fart. You never know what you’re going to get along with it!


39 posted on 04/04/2007 11:44:55 AM PDT by KingRonnie9
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To: Gabz

OMG....this is toooo funny!


40 posted on 04/04/2007 11:47:53 AM PDT by tioga
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To: Allegra; ErnBatavia

Awwww, see now they’ve violated his “human rights” so he’ll sue and Thirsty Kirsty’s will be no more...he should just be banished to the Highlands where he can live and drink in peace with other grazing animals. Or, drumroll please, he’s a perfect advert for the odor-eliminating undies...you think he’s single?


41 posted on 04/05/2007 2:13:13 AM PDT by wazoo1031
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To: Xenalyte
Lightweight.

Pickled eggs, sauerkraut, and beer (the night before).

Then check out the wailing and gnashing of teeth!

Bwahahahahahaha!

42 posted on 04/05/2007 2:26:32 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: Jaysun

Fennel seeds?


43 posted on 04/17/2007 8:32:18 PM PDT by perfect stranger
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To: perfect stranger
Fennel seeds?

You bet. Fennel seeds knock the wind out of the fart demon's sails. King Henry VIII was given fennel seeds for that reason. They can be eaten directly or made into a tea.
44 posted on 04/17/2007 9:10:16 PM PDT by Jaysun (See you in Heaven if you make the list.)
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To: Jaysun
I didn't know that. But I use Fennel seeds and the bulbs whenever I have the chance for the flavor.

Last week I diced a fennel bulb and a shallot and cooked them in a pan until they started to get dark and then added about half a cup of dark sambuca reduced it by more than half and then melted some butter into it and made a great sauce for a roasted pork loin.

Thanks for the idea...

A relish of....

red bell pepper

red onion

and artichoke

julieanned

with Dill, and parsley, marinated in light sambucca and lemon juice.

45 posted on 04/17/2007 9:32:58 PM PDT by perfect stranger
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To: perfect stranger

That sounds delicious. I’m chomping on a huge homemade pretzel right now and having a couple of Beck’s.


46 posted on 04/17/2007 9:38:29 PM PDT by Jaysun (See you in Heaven if you make the list.)
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To: dirtboy

Where I work you can just blame it on the patient.


47 posted on 04/17/2007 9:41:08 PM PDT by linn37 (Love your Phlebotomist)
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To: Jaysun
I'll have to let you know how it turns out. I'll try it tommorow.
48 posted on 04/17/2007 9:44:59 PM PDT by perfect stranger
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To: Billthedrill
It was the dog. Honest.

OK, I don't actually own a dog...

49 posted on 04/17/2007 9:55:31 PM PDT by macmedic892 (I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.)
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To: linn37
Where I work you can just blame it on the patient.

Even on the elevator? When I'm stuck without a patsy I usually just start acting crazy and claim that the CIA put a chip in my brain. Then I start taking off my clothes. It's drastic, I know, but it's gotten me out of many a bind.
50 posted on 04/17/2007 10:03:40 PM PDT by Jaysun (See you in Heaven if you make the list.)
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