Skip to comments.The GOPís Vitruvian Man (Do not read at meal or snack-time or w/beverages)
Posted on 08/24/2012 10:09:44 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
Leonardo da Vincis arguably most famous drawing is called the Vitruvian Man. Youve seen it; its the one where a buff man is stretching out in two positions inside a circle. Also called The Proportions of Man, it got us thinking about what a Vitruvian Republican might look like. What are his proportions?
The Republican Partys latest draft platform was completed this week, just in time for next weeks Tampa convention. It gives us a pretty good idea of what Republican Man looks like. According to the platform, who is a Republican voter voting to elect?
1. A manly man Nowhere in contemporary America is the biblical interpretation of woman of man so apparent than in todays RNC leadership. Of man is the dominant theme of the platforms treatment of women, endorsing rules, laws and beliefs that subjugate women to the views of religious institutions. Notably, the platform elevates the rights of zygotes above the rights of women who may have one inside of them.
Its a public policy that could only have been imagined by men. The platform also prescribes that women and young girls must give birth to a child conceived when they were raped by a stranger, or an uncle, or a drunken father. Hey, nothing is manlier than just taking what you want from a woman right?
Real men dont ask. They just threaten you, so that you dont tell...
2. A cruel master If that zygote turns into a blastocyst, then an embryo, then a fetus, and finally a baby, then Republican Man insists that it must suffer all the cruel fates of being raised by a mother who doesnt want or cant care for it. Or who through no fault of her own is retraumatized by the reminder of the cruel, violent rape that created it, perhaps making her unable to be a good mom or even a sane one.
A child who is poor, hungry, unloved and perhaps riddled with broken chromosomes is expected to buck up, grow up and toil his or her entire life to earn a way into the lower middle class. Republican Man thinks he or she should be grateful, too, and that the kid could have been rich if only hed tried harder.
Interestingly, these are views shared equally by Republican Man Gov. Bob McDonnell, Republican Man Rep. Todd Aikens and Republican Man Candidate Paul Ryan. (Really, who can guess what Republican Man Mitt Romney actually thinks?)
Republican Man also believes that the rapist, uncle, or drunken father should have custody rights too, because, hey, every child should have two parents, a rapist and his victim.
3. A big, strapping boy who can take any girl in a fight Ignoring all evidence over the past two decades, Republican Man believes that any time a close combat job is given to a woman, military readiness is compromised. This is, of course, the same idea that has been thoroughly debunked by women in our services and just like the claims that have been made about black men and gay men.
Still Republican Man has created a rich fantasy world in which he imagines he could beat any woman he competes with. In his world, hes not ducking fair competition, hes being brave. Such is the last gasp of a silly rationalization.
4. A man who doesnt want anyone to know about condoms Republican Man is against any sex education that includes information about about sex, including both how to do it and how to prevent pregnancy. His goal, perhaps, is to make sure you enter your sexually active years not knowing what youre missing just in case he cant deliver the O.
The no birth control part remains baffling. Apparently Republican Man also wants to sire as many children as he possibly can, something he routinely condemns urban poor people for. (Theyre black you know, so they are lacking in good character. Thats why Republican Man doesnt want them to vote either.)
At the very least, youd think hes want those inner city people to know something about birth control, but apparently he fears that his own conquests might stumble upon some sex knowledge if it is released into the wild.
The platform contains a ton of other offensive propositions including reduced rights for gay Americans and gay service members, über alles states rights for everyone except those Americans who live in Washington, D.C. (who instead get guns shoved down their throats), and rolling back federal intervention in state-sponsored racism. It also calls for Arizona-style immigration laws so that states can binge and purge on the unprotected workforce however they want.
So take a look at your dating site profile, ladies. Is this the kind of man you signed up for? If you wouldnt date this kind of jerk, you really shouldnt unleash him on the rest of the country either. Its that simple.
Admit it Republican Man is the kind of guy you would never, ever date.
Jimmy Zuma lives in Washington, D.C., where he writes the online opinion journal, Smart v. Stupid, and contributes to Technorati. He spent 5 years in Tucson in the early 80s, when life was a little slower, swamp coolers were a little more plentiful, Tucsons legendary music scene was in full bloom, and the prevailing work ethic was dont - unless you have to.
What the Hell is this crap?
Paging Dr. Mengele?
“and the prevailing work ethic was dont - unless you have to.
Says it all right there. LOSER
This was either written by a conservative man trapped at a liberal publication and wracking his brains to think of pieces that liberals would like, (it does happen more often than you’d think) or by a wuss of a man (liberal neo-hippie feminist).
Yes, very telling, wasn’t it?
This is the best they have?? They’re babbling fools.
Yeah, like the trolls who come here and name themselves “SoConDeerHunter1776” or some such.
Democrat Vitruvian Man is missing his testicles. Democrat Vitruvian Woman has them.
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