Posted on 07/13/2013 8:24:15 PM PDT by nickcarraway
At 11 on a weeknight earlier this year, her work finished, a slim, pretty junior at the University of Pennsylvania did what she often does when she has a little free time. She texted her regular hookup — the guy she is sleeping with but not dating. What was he up to? He texted back: Come over. So she did. They watched a little TV, had sex and went to sleep.
Their relationship, she noted, is not about the meeting of two souls.
“We don’t really like each other in person, sober,” she said, adding that “we literally can’t sit down and have coffee.”
Ask her why she hasn’t had a relationship at Penn, and she won’t complain about the death of courtship or men who won’t commit. Instead, she’ll talk about “cost-benefit” analyses and the “low risk and low investment costs” of hooking up.
“I positioned myself in college in such a way that I can’t have a meaningful romantic relationship, because I’m always busy and the people that I am interested in are always busy, too,” she said.
“And I know everyone says, ‘Make time, make time,’ ” said the woman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity but agreed to be identified by her middle initial, which is A. “But there are so many other things going on in my life that I find so important that I just, like, can’t make time, and I don’t want to make time.”
It is by now pretty well understood that traditional dating in college has mostly gone the way of the landline, replaced by “hooking up” — an ambiguous term that can signify anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse — without the emotional entanglement of a relationship.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
I think there’s a difference from 20 years ago. I remember if you were at a party and you stood talking to one of that certain type of girl, the other girls would give you the cold shoulder for the rest of the night.
I went to a small town high school and graduated in eighty. We had a lot of kids very active and about thirteen of our thirty five non graduates dropped out due to pregnancy rather than failing out.
Maybe this behavior was hit and miss. I didn’t go to college on a campus until between military tours and by that time I was already engaged. Non the less a couple of places I have worked over the years had coworkers pretending to be bunnies and at one there were leaving their soiled skivies around to get a rise from the rest of us.
I've been out of the dating scene for a long time, so I'm not familiar with that position.
The other day a guy asked me if I was getting any on the side. I said it's been so long I didn't know they moved it.
Both our kids told US the same (they both are now happily married).
So she’s okay with being some guy’s sex toy/slam piece.. she will regret it in ten years.
LOL. Well, I mean that the “normal” girls shunned the girls they concerned loose, and would, to some degree, penalize the guys who hung out with them.
Mashed potatoes and creamed spinach?
Another Fluke?
Aren’t they supposed to be there to study? No wonder degrees are meaningless.
and young people have been duped into believing this is the smart and cool way to do things with the opposite sex.
yowwww.
how can it go wrong? /s
“gee i have sex with a person i can’t stand if we’re sober”
fricking darwin award winners right there. they deserve the std’s they will ultimately wind up getting. good grief.
“gee i have sex with a person i can’t stand if we’re sober”
It’s not that purposeful.
The fact is that the person you like having sex with the most is sometimes not the same person you like to go out for coffee with and have a meaningful conversation.
Most people would like it to be the same person but it takes a long time to meet them.
I think these young women have already had an abortion or abortions. It reinforces in them that the first one wasn’t really a baby because look, there’s no love in this so how could it be.
this isn’t about finding one she likes, she has made a decision not’to find someone she’d fall in love with.
this is sick. the guy is just a dildo with a heartbeat to her. because that’s the way she wants it.
this stuff may appear to “work out” just fine, but i dare say it is going to mess up her relationships in the future. it is like porn, impersonal sex.
No fault divorce, birth control and welfare. The pope and Daniel Moynihan were right.
I’m not going to lie and say that I wouldn’t have wanted to meet a girl like that.
Quite a while back I had a discussion with the sister in law over this type of subject. I noted that guys can do this stuff, and then when they are 40 find a nice woman and marry her and have kids, but the woman who does this, at 40 ends up collecting cats (more often than not).
Man, she went apesh*t. She saw this as some type of huge injustice, and knowing her (huge libtard, and she is employed corrupting the minds of youth), she would whole heartedly have supported some type of law requiring men to marry these women.
You just can't out argue nature and logic though...
You need to thank pop culture for such upbringing.
Sex is supposed to be about the bonding of souls as well as bodies. This loveless, casual “hookup” behavior is very damaging in the spiritual sense (to say nothing of the physical consequences).
So the woman is thinking, “I am rebellious and doing this until a better guys comes around. Some day I will stop doing this and find a new man. And not tell him that I did this. Or tell him and he BETTER be ok with it because I am liberated and women are allowed to be big sluts just like men. This sucks but everyone does it and men do it so I can do it, too. It’s only fair.”
The man is thinking, “Sex.”
The ultimate outcome for each of them is likely to be a lot better for the man.
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