>> I can tell... she's a catch.
Catch, something...
Posted on 07/13/2013 8:24:15 PM PDT by nickcarraway
At 11 on a weeknight earlier this year, her work finished, a slim, pretty junior at the University of Pennsylvania did what she often does when she has a little free time. She texted her regular hookup — the guy she is sleeping with but not dating. What was he up to? He texted back: Come over. So she did. They watched a little TV, had sex and went to sleep.
Their relationship, she noted, is not about the meeting of two souls.
“We don’t really like each other in person, sober,” she said, adding that “we literally can’t sit down and have coffee.”
Ask her why she hasn’t had a relationship at Penn, and she won’t complain about the death of courtship or men who won’t commit. Instead, she’ll talk about “cost-benefit” analyses and the “low risk and low investment costs” of hooking up.
“I positioned myself in college in such a way that I can’t have a meaningful romantic relationship, because I’m always busy and the people that I am interested in are always busy, too,” she said.
“And I know everyone says, ‘Make time, make time,’ ” said the woman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity but agreed to be identified by her middle initial, which is A. “But there are so many other things going on in my life that I find so important that I just, like, can’t make time, and I don’t want to make time.”
It is by now pretty well understood that traditional dating in college has mostly gone the way of the landline, replaced by “hooking up” — an ambiguous term that can signify anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse — without the emotional entanglement of a relationship.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
It was happening in the 80’s.
sluts
we need to bring back shame
I'm told it was happening during the 70s, too.
I was too busy drinking in college to have a relationship with a woman that was serious enough for sex.
But I will always have the summer of 79 to reminisce.
It happened in the 70’s but nowhere near as much as the 80’s.
In 1979, a girl came to my room but she was 17 so I sent her packing. It happened more in the 80’s.
a good man would avoid that trainwreck
The point to the entire discussion is not whether it was happening in this or that era - it was happening in the 12th century, for whatever that’s worth - but whether it is continuing to grow, and whether it is normalizing in the ethic of the culture. The discussion is not about the occurrence, but about the frequency.
Also, men tend to make jokes about this, because there are moments when we all wanted to meet this type of woman. (I was 16 once, too.) Fine, have a chuckle here in the locker room. Then, when you marry and have children, you grow up, and you realize what a tragedy sexual promiscuity is for both genders. And you may still make a joke among other men, but as you chuckle you are mentally blanking the face of the woman who is at the center of the story of the day, and you are certainly not thinking of your daughter or your once-future wife.
Lol....ALL women have a “secret life”. Most men are really clueless about females & their private behavior. Women are careful about how they express themselves concerning their sexual history. In general they do an excellent job in keeping that aspect of their behavior to themselves. They do it much better than men.
I think I met her.
The social/dating scene was not like this in 1962, when I started college. Things began to change in the mid-60’s. But even in the 70’s, which were pretty free and easy compared to a decade before, affection and mate seeking were still primary. The behavior discussed in the article is just sad; these people are emotionally crippled.
I see it a reality that was planned by the Gramsci Marxists in their quest to destroy Western Civilization. Young adults are now well into their mid-20s and even early 30s ( and burdened with thousands in debt) before that have the credentials to get a career path job.
By destroying K-12 schooling and cheapening the value of a college degree through grade inflation, it now necessary to have master degrees and more to prove to employers that one is literate, numerate, and trainable.
While an 8th grade education was more than sufficient for my grandmother's generation ( born 1894) for nearly any job in the U.S., it was a high school diploma for my parents , a bachelors degree for mine, and now masters and more for my kids and grandchildren.
It is SICK and its been intentionally driven by the Marxists who run the education-industrial complex.
I agree.
I used to be very active on Free Republic, especially the education threads. Not too much now. I think it is hopeless. I agree. It is “burn out” time. And....All those who cooperated in the nation's downfall will answer to God and their fellow citizens at the Judgment.
Again, I must agree.
It is the same attitude seen on the hot teacher threads. They almost always show up.
and there is something nearly obscene and unseemly seeing this type of thing advocated by a woman.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Indeed! It is like living in a “Brave New World”. Before long the word, “mother”, will be obscene.
I have a similar experience. A very good friend of mine was dating this woman in her 40’s that came on to me. I warned him, he got upset with me and that was that, never spoke to him again. A year later, I saw her, she filled me in on her crazy sex-filled youth and her lapses and her regrets and she complained that “she can’t keep a good man”.. well, I asked her is she tried and she couldn’t respond.
She had no idea how to be in a relationship because she’s always been told she should sample the whole menu and sex was just sex.
We have multiple generations of women with no idea what true intimacy and love really is.
That a "never married" man can get married easier at age forty than a "never married" woman is unfair, but...life is unfair. Guys don't have to have babies. Guys don't have to have pads and tampons for long periods of their lives. Guys often don't have the same "standards" to live up to for appearance, but...those are the way things are.
For example, every woman I have known hates the menstrual cycle burden. But you know what? I have utmost respect for the ones who have said the equivalent of "Yes. It sucks. What are you going to do? No sense becoming angry and bitter over it. It is what it is, and that is my lot in life, so I am going to accept it as normal and deal with it as best I can."
I respect the hell out of that...this woman you were talking to was NOT one of those people.
Sad thing is I’m spending as much time educating my kids on disfunctional personalities and how to avoid them as how to be part of an actual relationship. Sometimes it feels like I’m training them to drive horse buggies.
>> I can tell... she's a catch.
Catch, something...
She'll carry over the emotion baggage to her future relationships.
Thank "The Pill" for that.
But even in the 70’s, which were pretty free and easy compared to a decade before, affection and mate seeking were still primary.
Even around that "free and easy" time, there were still plenty of ads in print and broadcast media aimed at the young male market for diamond engagement rings.
The behavior discussed in the article is just sad; these people are emotionally crippled.
I saw things start to change in the 1990s.
You can replace “procurable” (i.e. “for sale”) with “many” these days.
Not every woman falls into this group. There are holdouts.
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