Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

John Kerry's Report for Duty!
Red Dog Blog Site ^ | 9/07/04 | Blog

Posted on 09/07/2004 7:40:29 AM PDT by OPS4

My name is John Kerry and I would like to report for duty. Here is my resume for your review.

(We've never had an ethics problem with two Democratic lawyers in the Whitehouse before - why worry now?)

NAME: John F. Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, all worth multimillions.


Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. (Source: Congressional Record) I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant which I considered unsightly, in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. (Source: Boston Globe)


I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and served four months in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming that I and they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Of course I did not report these atrocities when they happened nor did I try to stop them. (Source: My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the military. I deplore the military!)


I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. (Source: Registrar @ Yale University and many national news media) Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A


I was Lietenant Governor under Michael Dukakis and I ran George McGovern's campaign. I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except that of a gigolo, by marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa. (Source: Every major news media)


Name one!

But, as a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability ! to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation.(Source: Congressional Record) I have no plan (well, I have a plan but it's a secret) to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. (Source: Every major news media, based on what he has promised.)

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million. (Source: Campaign Disclosure Act)

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe.(Source: US News and World Report, Time) We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I like to blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of the US.

I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, while! Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. (Source: Boston Globe)


Name one thing that I have done in my 20+ years in Congress that is noteworthy PERSONAL I ride a Serotta Bike.* My Gulfstream V Jet, I call The Flying Squirrel.* I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht! The "Scarmouche." * I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture. (Source: Time)

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems. I also own an Audi but I told the auto workers union I only buy US made vehicles. (Source: Time )


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: kerry; profile
Nuff Said. Ops4 God Bless America!
1 posted on 09/07/2004 7:40:41 AM PDT by OPS4
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: OPS4
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. (Source: Registrar @ Yale University and many national news media)

How does Mr 'I'm JFK presidential material' get a "low C" in Political Science?

2 posted on 09/07/2004 7:50:36 AM PDT by demlosers (57 days left until the Kerry campaign is put out of its misery.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OPS4

This would make a good printout to put on parked cars with Kerry bumper stickers..I think I shall keep a few in my car. Note, I have yet to see a Kerry bumper sticker in my area but I have seen 2 houses with Kerry yard signs.

3 posted on 09/07/2004 8:01:11 AM PDT by alisasny ("BREAKING: PETA OUTRAGED, Kerry to use hampsters to fire spitballs.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: demlosers

"How does Mr 'I'm JFK presidential material' get a "low C" in Political Science"?

Answer: He was probabally trying to mak a case and why Bolshevik run governments were better.

OPs4 God BLess America!

4 posted on 09/07/2004 8:02:17 AM PDT by OPS4 (worth repeating)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794 is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson