Skip to comments.CHENEY BLURTS "F" WORD (satire)
Posted on 09/14/2004 6:51:20 AM PDT by Henry Yang
CHENEY BLURTS "F" WORD
By Henry Yang
David Sanger of the New York Times reports that Vice President Dick Cheney excoriates Saddam Hussein using a vulgar expletive during a heated verbal exchange.
Mr. Cheney, under a shroud of secrecy, leaves his undisclosed location to interrogate Mr. Hussein in his undisclosed location. In compliance with demands of the U. N. Human Rights Commission (chaired by a delegate from Cuba), an M. P. from Provincetown, R. I. leads the naked, leashed Mr. Cheney into a polished marble foyer, while Mr. Hussein finishes his late morning tea.
To compensate for prior prisoner abuse with German shepherds, Mr. Cheney dutifully delivers the morning Sunni edition (Triangle Press) of the L. A. Times in his mouth, while ambulating on all fours.
The interrogation session begins, under video monitoring by an impartial panel of Al Gore, Dan Schorr, and Michael Moore (The Holy Trio of Gore, Schorr, and Moore).
Cheney: "Mr. President, do you have any complaints about your treatment?"
Hussein: "Yes, you incompetent infidel running dog. When you going to upgrade my internet connection from DSL to T1? How you expect me to I. M. my Buddies List of Carl Levin, Osama, and Maureen Dowd in timely manner? End of interrogation!"
Sensing his prey to be in retreat, Hussein continues:
"Mr. Dick, we have a cell in McClain, Virginia which could see to it that your Lipitor is substituted with a generic equivalent. After Nov. 2, you be jobless. You be lucky to find job selling Abu Graib time shares!"
Unable to control his rage, the Vice President blurts the "F" word:
"Sir, you may think you savor fresh ground Turkish coffee with your tiramisu, but the CIA actually serves you (his normally powerful, resonant voice cracks, he pauses to collect himself) serves you . FRENCH roast."
A visibly deflated Hussein, slumps in his recently delivered 18th century Georgian, distressed leather, eiderdown stuffed, wing chair provided by Secretary General Annan, so devastated as to be rendered speechless.
The ACLU promptly files a prisoner abuse grievance.
Well, I'll be #*&#$+!!!!
I am shocked...now I would expected that from Kerry's sugar-momma but not from him....
Kerry has said if he wins the election (nausea setting in) he will be given away three prizes...
First prize...a night with Teresa
Second prize...TWO nights with Teresa
Third prize...THREE nights with Teresa
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